When Awesome meets Vodka
by A Bleach-Drinking Hetalian
Summary: Fem-Prussia is taken by Russia sometime after WW2, while she and her Bruder are still weak. She didn't know what would happen to her while she stayed there. Neither do you. Rated T. My first attempt at a completely dark fic. Please enjoy and review.
1. Separation, in a way

**Ch 1 : Separation, in a way**

**Yes, another story. **

**WITH FEM-PRUSSIA!**

**Hello to any new readers!**

**And to my old readers, don't hate me. I love starting new stories. Stay awesome?**

**-shot-

* * *

**

_'I am ore-sama no awesome! '_

Bomb sirens can be heard in the background, and Prussia looks around the room lit by a single candle. She goes back to writing a letter.

_'Prussia, if you can't tell by the name. I'm writing this letter to my bruder, Ludwig, so that he knows what's happened to me. If you are not him, fuck off, you strange weirdo in my house.'_

The front door creaks open. Prussia starts writing faster.

_'I'm not safe, bruder! Prussia is awesome, but we're getting weaker! The war has taken its toll on me and my people. Russia is-'_

"Prussia? Prussia? I don't like playing these kinds of games, da. Come out now, pet."

Prussia froze. The Prussian started writing quieter.

_'Russia is coming for me, bruder! He wants to make me one with him! So if I don't return from this battle, I want you to take all of my things and bury them in a time capsule so that generations later can learn from my awesomeness.'_

She heard the handle to the door turn, and wrote nearly intelligibly,

_'Love, Gillian'_

The silverette hid the letter under her chair, held up a gun, and pointed it ready at Russia when he came in.

Russia smiled, acting like a happy child who found some interesting animal. "I found you! Now you will become one with mother Russia, da?"

She cocked her gun. "Bastard! You'll never have me!"

The Russian pulls out his pipe. "Are you sure you would like to make my first impression of you a bad one?"

Prussia held her ground. "My bruder will save me. Germanic peoples will always prevail. We are the Aryan's."

Russia walked forward, forcing Prussia to walk back with every step he took.

"Now, Prussia knows this is not true, da?" Russia took another step.

Prussia shook her head no. Russia was wrong.

"Prussia knows she has been spoon-fed lies by Germany's boss?" Bad vibes emanated from him, filling the room.

She hit a wall, looking fearfully up at the Russian who now loomed over her. He smiled widely.

"Prussia knows she no choice other than to come with me..." He held up his pipe menacingly. "Da?"

Prussia stood frozen.

The prey in her told her to run.

No... he would kill her.

The predator in her told her to fight.

Definitely no. That was an even worse idea... and he would have more fun with it...

The awesome in her had a different idea. The awesome told her to play along until she could escape.

Hot diggity damn! Awesome was awesome after all~

"Fine then."

Russia's smile faded a bit. He looked disappointed...

Then he shrugged, dark gleam leaving his violet eyes. "If that is what you really want..." The Russian's round face was happy and childish again. "Then follow me!"

He started humming to himself as she followed him.

'What's his game?...' she wondered

He turned. "I won't trust you."

Prussia smirked. "I wouldn't trust me, either."

Russia hummed at her acceptance, nodding."Da. So you do know that Germany will not save you?"

The Prussian stopped walking. "Bruder wouldn't abandon me."

He continued on. "We shall see, dear Prussia. Now it would be best if you followed~"

Prussia reluctantly walked on, hoping that Ludwig would get her letter.

* * *

**I need to write a dark story to get into a dark kind of mood for Hold Me, Protect Me, Love Me. So far it's all happy go lucky and stuff. It's going to get better while I write this though. And instead of just writing random dark things, why not make it into a story for my awesome readers?**

**Plus I just really wanted to write this. A mad made me do it.**

**I hope you enjoy it! **

**If I don't get enough reviews, I'll just delete it...**

**-emo mode-**

**Because I know my writings stink.. and I'm getting over my head.. and I have no right to receive reviews from you awesome people...**

**( ^ TT ~TT)/**

**Anywhoo, have a wonderful day!**

**-too emo for a proper emocon-  
**


	2. All that ever was might never be again

**Chapter 2 : All that ever was will always be**

**Warning: I FAIL AT WRITING GERMANY.**

**I don't own Hetalia, otherwise thee would be many more genderbendings.**

* * *

"Schwester?"

"...Where are you...?"

* * *

**Knock knock**

"Schwester? I'm here to visit you!" Germany called out to the house, knocking on the front door yet again.

"East?" The German waited another minute.

He asked for a final time, softly. "Gillian?"

"I'm coming in, schwester. Back away from the door!" He frowned. No response again?

He kicked in the door, and stepped over its shattered remains.

The blonde looked around furiously, running through all of the rooms in the house. "Schwester? Are you there?"

He paused in pain at the stairwell, grasping his side. Lovina had a way with medicine that numbed most of it.

...But Gillian had a BIG house _and_ he kicked down a door...

Germany finally reached her... study? No, it'd be more of a work room.

All of the papers in it were disheveled, out of order, and stuffed in random boxes.

"Everything's normal here..."

After giving the house a thrice over, he collapsed on the couch in Prussia's workroom. "She isn't here..."

He curled up into the nook of the couch, minutely appreciating how it smelled like his schwester.

The German fell asleep, comforted by her very essence.

* * *

The German regained consciousness as soon as his unconscious mind realized what he was supposed to be doing.

He sat up straight, and a small slip of paper fell to the ground.

_"__Was_?"

He saw a formal letter addressed: _To __Deutschland._

"Crap."

Germany stood, picking up the letter. He opened it delicately, making sure not to tear the paper.

After he read it, he was in a state of disbelief.

Or shock. The German couldn't fully comprehend what he was feeling.

"Gillian..." Could it be that.. "Russia has you?"

He stood still for only a minute, then ran straight out the door.

"BASTARD!"

He didn't know where he was going, all he knew was that something told him Gillian wasn't safe.

* * *

Russia giggled. 'She seems like a fun new toy~'

"Hee hee, Lithuania, Latvia, Estonia! I'd like you to meet our new guest!"

He looked at the minions before him.

Latvia was a fragile little girl, so much fun to play with!

Estonia... was a guy. His reactions weren't as satisfying...

But Lithuania! She was the most fun to play with! Even more than Latvia!

KoLkOl...

No, introductions are needed~

"Prussia, East Germany, Kaliningrad; by whatever name you may call her, she is staying here! Hee!" He giggled like a child again. So much fun awaited him!

Prussia grinned, and waved at his Baltic's. "Yo."

Russia frowned, waving his finger. "Ah, ah, ah! You need to be ladylike, Prussia!"

The Baltic's started shivering.

How wonderful~

* * *

**www(dot)youtube(dot)com(slash)watch?v=6py6OtNOE14&feature=related**

**I watched this on Sunday. **

**I survived death by PowerPoint on WW2, Germany, Prussia, the cold war, the Berlin wall, and any subject that may appear.**

**I was doing homework, and I just couldn't concentrate. I had to rewatch the video. Now it's Tuesday, and the first two chapters have been made.**

**I wanted to go ahead and put the Baltic's in there.**

**If you enjoy my attempt at a serious fic, please review.**

**I've gotten really under confident, which leads to writers block...**

**(/ 3 _3)/**


	3. Awesome's new occupation?

**Chapter 3 : Awesome's new occupation**

* * *

(Prussia's pov)

I was singing to myself, uncharacteristically. Somethin Japan taught me during the war.. "Ore-sama saikou! Saikyou! Saigo ni warau no wa!"

I was bored out of my mind. "JA! Ore-sama kitta ze."

I thought that something would happen at Russia's, but he just kept me in my designated 'guest room' like I'm on house arrest. "DANKE! Saijou! Saikyou! Omae-ra tataete ii ze!"

"Dekai yume misete~ yaru!"

Someone came in. It was Lithuania. "And what kind of dreams would those be?" she said, obviously unhappy with my awesome singing.

I decided to finish the song anyway, seeing as it was the answer to her question. "Rensen! Renshou! Ryakudatsu!" I sang, posing on my table.

Lithuania sighed. "If 'your awesomeness' cares, dinner is ready."

My stomach growled. "Hell yeah!" I jumped after her retreating figure.

Everyone was always so gloomy in this house. I wonder why...

I mean, Russia doesn't seem like too bad of a guy...

STOP RIGHT THERE, THOUGHT.

THIS IS RUSSIA.

That's reason enough to be suspicious...

Lithuania stopped abruptly. Bowing, she murmured, "Hello, Mr. Russia."

Russia smiled, then looked at me expectantly.

"Ok... Hello?" I said, wondering how the fuck you act around a supposed monster.

His smile faltered for a second, making my suspicions rise.

"Da... Lithuania, what is for dinner?" He ignored me? Fine.

Lithuania kept her head down. "I made beefsteak and boiled cabbage. Since your vodka's in the cellar, would you like me to get it, Mr. Russia?"

Russia smiled again. "Da~! Thank you, Lithuania! Be back soon~"

She sped off, leaving me with the Russian.

He looked at me, face now dark. "Prussia needs to learn respect, da? I can be nice, comrade, if only you let me..."

I scoffed. "Russia isn't nice. Russia is cold, hard, unforgiving. The Russia I know would kill in the blink of an eye, and smile the entire time."

"Stop it, you're making me bashful." Russia chuckled, brushing past me. "Well now, since you seem to know me better than I myself do, I'll leave you to your opinions."

Dinner was boring as fuck.

Everyone just sat there, quietly eating.

My Prussian survival instincts told me to be quiet as well.

This seemed like the prime time to listen to them.

Russia spoke, breaking the silence.

"Prussia, what is your name?"

I looked up from the mutilated meal. "I can't tell you that, Russia."

He smiled. "And why not?"

I smirked, replying, "Because I don't think you deserve to know my name, other than Prussia." I held his gaze, directly across the table from me.

"Oh, really now?"

Most of the table goers started shivering.

A dark aura was emanating from him again.

"Yup." I held up my plate, since I was done. "Now I'd like to be excused."

After the dinner, I went back to my room. I managed to nab a newspaper from the main room.

It was full of lies and propaganda...

"What could Prussia be doing, I wonder~?"

I froze.

I looked up, and saw Russia standing in the doorway.

Then I relaxed.

A mistake.

A fucking big one.

"I'm reading my newspaper, Russia..." I looked back at it. "Its-"

Russia ripped the paper from my hands.

I glared up at him. "What the hell?"

He looked over the paper, then scanned my face. "I did not give you permission to read this, Prussia."

I held my ground. I submitted to five arguments this week alone, and awesome can take it no longer. Two months is too long to put up with this.

"I don't care if I had your damn permission."

Russia smiled, then cupped his hand to his ear. "I do not believe I heard you correctly, Prussia."

I twitched.

That's it.

"I SAID I DON'T CARE IF I HAVE YOUR DAMNED PERMISSION!"

She looked at the opened door and saw all of the Baltic's shaking their heads no.

What?

I looked back up, and saw Russia was really close.

Pop my personal bubble close.

"LiThUaNiA?" he said.

"Y-y-yes si-sir?" She responded, stuttering.

"PlEaSe ClOsE tHe DoOr nOw..."

I looked at her. She flashed me an apologetic look, then closed the door.

I looked back up at Russia, and he slammed his face onto mine. Fuck, he tasted bad! It seemed like he was trying to.. kiss me?

HELL NO!

I pushed him away, shove taking him by surprise. "What the fuck do you think you're doing, Rus-?"

He seemed to be trying to kiss me again, and this time succeeded with getting his tongue in my mouth.

"NRG!" I finally grunted, after I couldn't breathe.

He got off, and I slumped down.

"I'm punishing you." he said simply, meeting me at my level. "Now, will you tell me your name?"

"Will you go the fuck away if I tell you?" I asked, genuinely curious.

"No." he said, smiling.

Bruder always said my pride would be the death of me...

"Never, Russia."

Russia sighed, then stood. "It will have to be done the hard way, da?"

I remained silent.

He dragged me by my collar to the bed.

I started struggling, and he only got as far as the desk.

"FUCK NO, BASTARD! GET AWAY FROM ME!" I screamed, making him only angrier.

"Quiet down, Prussia, or I shall make you quiet..." The Russian said, trying to drag her on.

"NEVER! NOW LET GO OF MY AWESOME UNIFORM, YOU'RE STRETCHING IT OUT!"

He let go?

I looked up, and saw his hands flash by my face, grasping around my neck.

I tried pushing him off as I was slowly running out of air. "Stop... it...Russia..."

He giggled. "You're face is so funny, Prussia. Won't you tell me what your name is?"

I shook my head no.

He squeezed my neck tighter.

The lights were starting to sparkle...

"Fuck... I'll never give in," I got a good grip on his hands, pulling them off so I could get air."I'M PRUSSIA!" I kicked him in the chest, and ran to my left.

Russia tackled me onto the bed.

I looked at him, and saw that he looked like a lunatic. "Crap, I should've gone right!" I said quietly, preparing for the worst.

"Yes, Prussia. Now tell me your name." He bent in again.

He smelt strongly of vodka.

* * *

I woke up to see Lithuania shaking her head.

"Wha?" I sat up, letting my cover fall off.

Then she looked away, and seemed to be blushing.

I looked down... and was in nothing but a t-shirt...?

"W-!" She clamped her hand over my mouth before I could make words. She pointed to my clothes on the floor.

I looked up at her, and she shook her head sadly yes.

"Ah! Good morning, Gillian!" Russia said, appearing in the doorway. The bastard was smiling...

I looked away, defeat gracing my features.

"I know your name now! Isn't that wonderful?"

Wait. That means that-

I heard him leave, chanting. "KoLkOlKoLkOlKoLkOl..."

Then I passed out.

_Fuck._

* * *

**Could any of you tell that what she was singing was the (Japanese sounded out words in English) lyrics for Mein Gott? Well, they were!**

**I'm not really a perverted person in real life, so it's hard for me to write cuss words, kiss scenes, or even imply... *blush* IT.**

**( ' **/**') ~'**

**I'm sorry, as I said before, this is my first real dark story. **

**Any help? I would love it... **

**...for I am a nOOb... **

**I'm sorry this story stinks.**

**Thank you very much for reading.**

**( v ' w'v) ~*bow***

**It would make me very happy if you reviewed!**

**Stay awesome!**

**

* * *

::EDIT::  
I've edited this and the other two chapters, and..  
I HAVE MAJOR PROBLEMS WITH FIRST PERSON POV. D:  
**


	4. Germany's attempts

**Chapter 5: A promise among friends.**

**(For time purposes, it's been a long while in the story, da?)**

* * *

Russia held it out just beyond my reach.

My Knights Cross of the Iron Cross.

"You want it, da?"

I stood stock still. He had the guts to take my cross?

After.. violating me?

As many times as he has so far?

I don't think so.

"Give. It. Back." No, I wasn't hiding tears..

Russia giggled. "No, Gillian~! You see, I do not have to! And you can't take it back from me, now can you?" He was messing with me as I was just doing my work in my room. I didn't do_ ANYTHING_ to provoke him. And I don't plan on doing anything either.

The predator in me told me to beat the living shit out of him.

The prey in me told me to stay silent.

The awesome in me told me to listen to the prey in me. Dammit...

My hands curled into fists. But I remained silent.

"Is the great and awesome Prussia **afraid** of me?" He got a bit closer, putting emphasis on the word that would piss me off.

Fuck. I hate him... I hate him so much..

I looked away completely.

I could feel three pairs of eyes burning through my back.

I can hear Lithuania now. 'Don't say anything if he comes to bother you. _Okay_?'

Russia was starting to get annoyed. "Gillian, since I know your name, would you like to know mine?"

I laughed, and he raised an eyebrow at my reaction. "No. I don't care what the fuck your name is."

Russia stood silent for a moment. "Da... Why?"

I didn't answer.

"When I ask a question, I expect an answer, Gillian, my pet.."

I gave him my best cheerful-FUCK-OFF smile. "Don't call me your pet." I walked up to him and jammed my finger into his chest. "Why would I give a flying fuck about the man who stole my name and my cross. Hm?"

He smiled. "I have no idea, Gillian, dearest."

STOP CALLING ME BY THOSE FUCKING NAMES!

But I didn't say that out loud. I took the rest of his annoyances in silence. Because curiosity already killed the cat more than once. Even poking him could get me punished.. stupid, right?

I stood there, silently looking at my feet until I heard his heavy footsteps take him outside, and I saw him walking away through the snow.

Lithuania came in. "He's gone?"

I shook my head yes.

Latvia stopped shivering. "Really?"

I shook my head yes again.

Lithuania actually hugged me. "I'm sorry. I haven't been able to talk to you when they're here."

Estonia spoke up. "'They' being Russia, Belarus, and Ukraine."

Latvia spoke quietly. "We're sorry about... the incidents.. and your cross."

I looked back out the window. "Can I speak to Lithuania alone, please?"

I looked out the window, and heard Estonia and Latvia leave. Just what I was waiting for.

I turned to Lithuania, and buried my face in her shoulder. "Mrg..." I started crying...

And she just sat there, stoking my hair.

She reminded me that I sometimes miss not having mutti here anymore...

"You know, before you came, I was Russia's favorite."

I looked up with one crimson eye. "You were?"

The Lithuanian turned away, looking out the window. "I was abused nearly every day..."

I frowned. She seemed like such a nice little thing, too.

"But now that you're here, he hasn't hurt me one day." She peeked over her shoulder, smiling sadly. "You seem to fascinate him, Gillian."

I frowned.

"Oh yes, how rude of me." She held out a hand in formal greeting. "I'm Victoria."

She might actually not suck, even from what's happened to her. "That's a pretty name. I'll call you... Tori!"

Her eyes still showed sadness, apparent at my declaration. "Just remember to call me Lithuania when it's around anyone else."

I smiled at her. So unfortunate... "I'm really just staying here until my bruder comes to get me. But I'll make sure that when I leave, everyone leaves. Ok?"

Lithuania laughed dryly. "Are you sure you can keep that promise, Gillian?"

I smiled, standing. "But of course! I'm awesome!" I held out my pinkie finger. "I promise, Tori."

"I'm holding you to that, Gillian." Lithuania's smile was real this time around.

Someone as awesome as me could tell.

* * *

**Prussia's mutti = Fem-Germania (Just some pointless genderbending...)**

**I love writing for Prussia. Well, when she's not sad and stuff. She's going to get sadder, so the fun won't continue... **

**So here's a song that'll cheer up me and you!**

**www(dot)youtube(dot)com(slash)watch?v=Lf5qvdyqCsE&feature=PlayList&p=43A4E7C982FB0299&playnext_from=PL&index=35&playnext=6**

**Anywhoo, I'm sorry for the late update! **

**I went on a boat ride! And since I'm in Pensacola, Florida, the oil will hit us soon... **

**I got epic photos, though~**

**I'll release two this weekend, so forgive me!**

**(/ ^ 3^)/**

**Stay awesome! Please don't be mad! x|**


	5. A promise among new friends?

**Chapter 5: A promise among friends.**

**(For time purposes, it's been a long while in the story, da?)**

* * *

Russia held it out just beyond my reach.

My Knights Cross of the Iron Cross.

"You want it, da?"

I stood stock still. He had the guts to take my cross?

After.. violating me?

As many times as he has so far?

I don't think so.

"Give. It. Back." No, I wasn't hiding tears..

Russia giggled. "No, Gillian~! You see, I do not have to! And you can't take it back from me, now can you?" He was messing with me as I was just doing my work in my room. I didn't do_ ANYTHING_ to provoke him. And I don't plan on doing anything either.

The predator in me told me to beat the living shit out of him.

The prey in me told me to stay silent.

The awesome in me told me to listen to the prey in me. Dammit...

My hands curled into fists. But I remained silent.

"Is the great and awesome Prussia **afraid** of me?" He got a bit closer, putting emphasis on the word that would piss me off.

Fuck. I hate him... I hate him so much..

I looked away completely.

I could feel three pairs of eyes burning through my back.

I can hear Lithuania now. 'Don't say anything if he comes to bother you. _Okay_?'

Russia was starting to get annoyed. "Gillian, since I know your name, would you like to know mine?"

I laughed, and he raised an eyebrow at my reaction. "No. I don't care what the fuck your name is."

Russia stood silent for a moment. "Da... Why?"

I didn't answer.

"When I ask a question, I expect an answer, Gillian, my pet.."

I gave him my best cheerful-FUCK-OFF smile. "Don't call me your pet." I walked up to him and jammed my finger into his chest. "Why would I give a flying fuck about the man who stole my name and my cross. Hm?"

He smiled. "I have no idea, Gillian, dearest."

STOP CALLING ME BY THOSE FUCKING NAMES!

But I didn't say that out loud. I took the rest of his annoyances in silence. Because curiosity already killed the cat more than once. Even poking him could get me punished.. stupid, right?

I stood there, silently looking at my feet until I heard his heavy footsteps take him outside, and I saw him walking away through the snow.

Lithuania came in. "He's gone?"

I shook my head yes.

Latvia stopped shivering. "Really?"

I shook my head yes again.

Lithuania actually hugged me. "I'm sorry. I haven't been able to talk to you when they're here."

Estonia spoke up. "'They' being Russia, Belarus, and Ukraine."

Latvia spoke quietly. "We're sorry about... the incidents.. and your cross."

I looked back out the window. "Can I speak to Lithuania alone, please?"

I looked out the window, and heard Estonia and Latvia leave. Just what I was waiting for.

I turned to Lithuania, and buried my face in her shoulder. "Mrg..." I started crying...

And she just sat there, stoking my hair.

She reminded me that I sometimes miss not having mutti here anymore...

"You know, before you came, I was Russia's favorite."

I looked up with one crimson eye. "You were?"

The Lithuanian turned away, looking out the window. "I was abused nearly every day..."

I frowned. She seemed like such a nice little thing, too.

"But now that you're here, he hasn't hurt me one day." She peeked over her shoulder, smiling sadly. "You seem to fascinate him, Gillian."

I frowned.

"Oh yes, how rude of me." She held out a hand in formal greeting. "I'm Victoria."

She might actually not suck, even from what's happened to her. "That's a pretty name. I'll call you... Tori!"

Her eyes still showed sadness, apparent at my declaration. "Just remember to call me Lithuania when it's around anyone else."

I smiled at her. So unfortunate... "I'm really just staying here until my bruder comes to get me. But I'll make sure that when I leave, everyone leaves. Ok?"

Lithuania laughed dryly. "Are you sure you can keep that promise, Gillian?"

I smiled, standing. "But of course! I'm awesome!" I held out my pinkie finger. "I promise, Tori."

"I'm holding you to that, Gillian." Lithuania's smile was real this time around.

Someone as awesome as me could tell.

* * *

**Prussia's mutti = Fem-Germania (Just some pointless genderbending...)**

**I love writing for Prussia. Well, when she's not sad and stuff. She's going to get sadder, so the fun won't continue... **

**So here's a song that'll cheer up me and you!**

**www(dot)youtube(dot)com(slash)watch?v=Lf5qvdyqCsE&feature=PlayList&p=43A4E7C982FB0299&playnext_from=PL&index=35&playnext=6**

**Anywhoo, I'm sorry for the late update! **

**I went on a boat ride! And since I'm in Pensacola, Florida, the oil will hit us soon... **

**I got epic photos, though~**

**I'll release two this weekend, so forgive me!**

**(/ ^ 3^)/**

**Stay awesome! Please don't be mad! x|**


	6. Italy's secret mission from Germany

**hapter 7: Weakening**

I gripped my chest.

Burning.. pain...

I looked up to see Russia smiling at me.

"What do you... nnrg.. want, Russia?" I said.

He giggled. "I'm glad that my works are starting to take effect!"

I glared at him."What do you mean?..." I grimaced in pain as another wave hit me."Fuck!"

His face turned dark. "Why, I'm surprised you didn't feel it until now~. You'd think that me taking Kaliningrad would have hurt you a lot sooner!EsPeCiAlLy with how I improved it~"

I shuddered. There'd been a dull pain since I arrived here, but I just figured that it was because I was at Russia's place.

"I mean, your people are hurting. You must be insensitive. How horrible!" Russia giggled.

I couldn't take it anymore.

I slammed into his jaw with a right uppercut, and then pushed him to the ground with a swipe of my legs under his, making him lose his balance. He fell, with a stupid surprised look on his face.

I ran out of the room; past the Baltic's, past his sisters, past the front door.

I just ran.

And before I knew it, I was in a city of some sort. It looked vaguely familiar...

Wait, was this was one of my cities?

Damn, how far did I run?

I walked on, seeing propaganda posters, the poor, the dying. And soldiers?

They were wearing my uniform, so they didn't mind me...

**BONK**

I looked up, and saw that I had run into a wall.

A WALL?

Why didn't I see it before..?

...Though this particular part had a hole in it.

I felt the cold brick. looking up at the barbed wire bordering the top. Wait, so this is... right next to West, meaning that someone wanted to separate us.

It's probably his boss, or Russia's...

My poor bruder always gets the bad bosses. He's never had a Fritz..

"Gillian!"

I looked through the hole, and to my awesome surprise, Ludwig was there. He looked really stressed out.

"Oi, west. What's shakin?"

He smiled. "Still yourself, even in the face of adversity..."

I smirked. "Awesome is what awesome is, bruder. I can't help it~"

I don't want him to think my times were as bad as it has been...

He looked through the small hole. "I'm glad we can talk again, schwester."

I forget.. has it been a year, or longer? Nations think that a day is what minutes could be for humans, anyway.

"What is today, bruder?"

He seemed taken aback by the question.

"Well, as of today, it's been twenty years you've been taken."

I gaped. "The hell?"

He frowned. "You didn't know?"

I shook my head. "You lose track of time when.. you live where I do."

Apparently I must've made a weird face or something, because bruder gave me the interrogation treatment.

"Where do you live, Gillian? Is it with Russia? Has he touched you? I'll skin him alive..."

I tried to look normal. "It's ok-"

"Da. It is ok. Right, Gillian?"

I froze, and then turned to see Russia.

"It's not good to treat me badly, Gillian-"

Ludwig spoke up, blue eyes narrowing. "How do you know her name?"

Russia giggled. "Why, she told me, Germany."

My bother saw the fear on my face.

His jaw clenched in anger. "What the fuck did you do to her, you bastard?"

I tried to speak, but a wave of Russia's hand told me not to.

"Nothing out of the range of power I have over her..." He looked at me, then smiled. "Right, Gillian dearest?"

My brother looked at me, and saw most all of the truth in my eyes, until I turned my attention downward.

"But now we must leave. You'll be punished for your escapades."

He started dragging me away, and I didn't resist. What's the point?...

"Gillian, what does he mean by that? Gillian?" He tried to call through the wall. "Does he mean what I think? GILLIAN! Answer me, please! Schwester..!"

"Bye, West." I waved sadly, and he seemed surprised. He just stood there, making me feel like I let him down.

Russia said to my soldiers. "Re-cement that hole. And double the guard on the wall."

Needless to say, his tone was going to make them listen no matter what they thought. I wasn't paying attention to that, though.

He stomped all the way home. I didn't say a word.

Finally, we reached his front door. He startled Latvia. "Mr. R-Russia! Did you let Gillian escape again?"

He glared at her, making the Latvian squeak.

"Da. And now she must be punished."

Latvia looked at me sympathetically, as the Russian dragged me to what I thought was the basement.

Lithuania caught sight of me.

"Russia, she didn't do anything wrong!" She pleaded, coming to stand next to him.

"Would you like to take her place, Lithuania?" He bent down to her level. "Would YOU take HER punishment? Willingly?"

She swallowed, then put on a brave face. "Y-"

"He's not man enough to hurt me and he knows it." I said, taking his attention away from her. She shook her head rapidly, trying to tell me not to provoke him, it would be stupid.

For an awesome person like me, I'm an idiot.

He grinned maniacally, making the room's temperature drop.

"KoLkOlKoLkOlKoLkOl..."

* * *

**I know I said I have writers block, but it went away until after I wrote this. Next update is on Wednesday~ It'll probably just be filler.**

**Kaliningrad - it's a territory that Russia took from Prussia in 1945. They forced the German population out and replaced the official language with Russian. **

**I'd like to thank TheCanadianConspiracy for confirming that for me! And for being awesome, of course.**

**Now now, the Berlin wall would never have a real hole in it like that. Silly dreamers and your ideas..**

**I'd also like to thank my beta for being awesome and supportive and stuff! AND all of my reviewers! Alerts and favorites are nice, but reviews make writers the happiest! (If you're a writer, you know what I mean~)**

**Hani, I hope you enjoyed this chapter~**

**Everyone stay awesome!**

**( TT 3TT)/**

**Review? It roundhouse kicks writers block in the face...**


	7. Weakening?

**hapter 7: Weakening**

I gripped my chest.

Burning.. pain...

I looked up to see Russia smiling at me.

"What do you... nnrg.. want, Russia?" I said.

He giggled. "I'm glad that my works are starting to take effect!"

I glared at him."What do you mean?..." I grimaced in pain as another wave hit me."Fuck!"

His face turned dark. "Why, I'm surprised you didn't feel it until now~. You'd think that me taking Kaliningrad would have hurt you a lot sooner!EsPeCiAlLy with how I improved it~"

I shuddered. There'd been a dull pain since I arrived here, but I just figured that it was because I was at Russia's place.

"I mean, your people are hurting. You must be insensitive. How horrible!" Russia giggled.

I couldn't take it anymore.

I slammed into his jaw with a right uppercut, and then pushed him to the ground with a swipe of my legs under his, making him lose his balance. He fell, with a stupid surprised look on his face.

I ran out of the room; past the Baltic's, past his sisters, past the front door.

I just ran.

And before I knew it, I was in a city of some sort. It looked vaguely familiar...

Wait, was this was one of my cities?

Damn, how far did I run?

I walked on, seeing propaganda posters, the poor, the dying. And soldiers?

They were wearing my uniform, so they didn't mind me...

**BONK**

I looked up, and saw that I had run into a wall.

A WALL?

Why didn't I see it before..?

...Though this particular part had a hole in it.

I felt the cold brick. looking up at the barbed wire bordering the top. Wait, so this is... right next to West, meaning that someone wanted to separate us.

It's probably his boss, or Russia's...

My poor bruder always gets the bad bosses. He's never had a Fritz..

"Gillian!"

I looked through the hole, and to my awesome surprise, Ludwig was there. He looked really stressed out.

"Oi, west. What's shakin?"

He smiled. "Still yourself, even in the face of adversity..."

I smirked. "Awesome is what awesome is, bruder. I can't help it~"

I don't want him to think my times were as bad as it has been...

He looked through the small hole. "I'm glad we can talk again, schwester."

I forget.. has it been a year, or longer? Nations think that a day is what minutes could be for humans, anyway.

"What is today, bruder?"

He seemed taken aback by the question.

"Well, as of today, it's been twenty years you've been taken."

I gaped. "The hell?"

He frowned. "You didn't know?"

I shook my head. "You lose track of time when.. you live where I do."

Apparently I must've made a weird face or something, because bruder gave me the interrogation treatment.

"Where do you live, Gillian? Is it with Russia? Has he touched you? I'll skin him alive..."

I tried to look normal. "It's ok-"

"Da. It is ok. Right, Gillian?"

I froze, and then turned to see Russia.

"It's not good to treat me badly, Gillian-"

Ludwig spoke up, blue eyes narrowing. "How do you know her name?"

Russia giggled. "Why, she told me, Germany."

My bother saw the fear on my face.

His jaw clenched in anger. "What the fuck did you do to her, you bastard?"

I tried to speak, but a wave of Russia's hand told me not to.

"Nothing out of the range of power I have over her..." He looked at me, then smiled. "Right, Gillian dearest?"

My brother looked at me, and saw most all of the truth in my eyes, until I turned my attention downward.

"But now we must leave. You'll be punished for your escapades."

He started dragging me away, and I didn't resist. What's the point?...

"Gillian, what does he mean by that? Gillian?" He tried to call through the wall. "Does he mean what I think? GILLIAN! Answer me, please! Schwester..!"

"Bye, West." I waved sadly, and he seemed surprised. He just stood there, making me feel like I let him down.

Russia said to my soldiers. "Re-cement that hole. And double the guard on the wall."

Needless to say, his tone was going to make them listen no matter what they thought. I wasn't paying attention to that, though.

He stomped all the way home. I didn't say a word.

Finally, we reached his front door. He startled Latvia. "Mr. R-Russia! Did you let Gillian escape again?"

He glared at her, making the Latvian squeak.

"Da. And now she must be punished."

Latvia looked at me sympathetically, as the Russian dragged me to what I thought was the basement.

Lithuania caught sight of me.

"Russia, she didn't do anything wrong!" She pleaded, coming to stand next to him.

"Would you like to take her place, Lithuania?" He bent down to her level. "Would YOU take HER punishment? Willingly?"

She swallowed, then put on a brave face. "Y-"

"He's not man enough to hurt me and he knows it." I said, taking his attention away from her. She shook her head rapidly, trying to tell me not to provoke him, it would be stupid.

For an awesome person like me, I'm an idiot.

He grinned maniacally, making the room's temperature drop.

"KoLkOlKoLkOlKoLkOl..."

* * *

**I know I said I have writers block, but it went away until after I wrote this. Next update is on Wednesday~ It'll probably just be filler.**

**Kaliningrad - it's a territory that Russia took from Prussia in 1945. They forced the German population out and replaced the official language with Russian. **

**I'd like to thank TheCanadianConspiracy for confirming that for me! And for being awesome, of course.**

**Now now, the Berlin wall would never have a real hole in it like that. Silly dreamers and your ideas..**

**I'd also like to thank my beta for being awesome and supportive and stuff! AND all of my reviewers! Alerts and favorites are nice, but reviews make writers the happiest! (If you're a writer, you know what I mean~)**

**Hani, I hope you enjoyed this chapter~**

**Everyone stay awesome!**

**( TT 3TT)/**

**Review? It roundhouse kicks writers block in the face...**


	8. Gradual Erosion

**Chapter 8: Erosion**

**HORRABLE FILLER! DON'T READ!**

**I don't own Hetalia. If I did, there would be a lot more Fluff x Genderbending.**

* * *

He stared at my bare body, gaping.

I, being an awesome battle veteran, had more scars than he dared ever imagined.

"...I'm surprised that one like you can walk, if these scars hold any indication to your injuries.." He felt my back, leaving a tingling sensation behind.

"You really don't know anything about me, Russia." I said, keeping away from looking into his eyes.

"True enough, da? You have been alive far longer than I." She looked up, slightly startled by the reverence in his voice.

"But that doesn't mean you should get a swelled head about it, Gillian." He pulled out a cat-of-nine-tails, his eyes filled with childish malice.

"Shit."

* * *

I didn't scream.

I didn't cry.

I wouldn't do that because I'm awesome. Even if I was covered in cuts and bruises from Russia.

He seemed disappointed by it. "Let this be a lesson to you, Gillian. Do not back-talk me again."

I nodded. I didn't want to be hurt again...

"Another thing; From now on, call me Ivan." He went upstairs, locking the door. I curled up into a ball and slept for a few seconds.. minutes.. it could've been hours...

Lithuania came down with bandages, eventually.

I didn't say anything, though the ointment she put on stung minutely.

The Lithuanian made me get dressed, and acted like I was sick or something.

She tried to get me to come upstairs with her. I didn't want to.

I didn't go.

I sat there, her next to me, in the silent darkness.

"She is coming up soon, da~?"

I shivered violently. My eyes widened in fear.

That Russian officially scared the living hell out of me.

"She's just taking a bit of recovery time..." Lithuania responded.

Russia sounded unhappy. "Three days isn't enough? It usually only took you a few hours.."

Lithuania retorted that everyone's different, promising my recovery soon.

Then he left.

My shivering didn't stop. Lithuania hugged me, but I didn't cry.

I was cold.

Too fucking cold..

* * *

I eventually made my way upstairs, but I no longer held my airs.

I was deflated.

But I wasn't going to let anyone know that.

* * *

"Latvia, get me that folder, from the top of the pile."

She seemed to not stiffen around me anymore. That was good. "Are these it?"

I smiled sadly as the Latvian handed me the stack. We all had a share of Russia's paperwork. We were his minions after all...

"Danke.." Latvia bowed her head, then sped off. Her paperwork wasn't going to do itself.

It was boring, but it took my mind off of things.

Like how cold it was in Russia.

How much I hurt, from my people's hurt, to the hurt _he_ caused.

How much I missed my bruder.

I'm tired of living... It's already been so long..

...

NO! AWESOME MUST NOT THINK THAT!

But if I'm so awesome, why was I captured in the first place?...

Was my awesome wrong?

Plan A didn't work...

And I don't have any other plans...

I'll just hope life gets better sooner or later...

* * *

(Liet's pov.)

I peered at Gillian sadly. Her paperwork was getting done in record time, only further betraying her emotions.

There must be something I can do to help...

I know! Maybe if she comes outside, she'll cheer up!

I'll try my best!

"Gil?" I called softly. She looked up from her paperwork.

"Hmm?" Gillian looked up, red eyes nearly blank.

I came in, holding a list. "Well, I have to go shopping for dinner, and I'm a bit too busy to go myself..."

She seemed interested enough, eyebrows raised.

"So.. could you maybe.. go for me?"

The dull pink her eyes head been only a moment before turned ruby red at the prospect. "Can I?"

I wanted to giggle, but didn't. "Yes."

She was up in a flash, and I gave her the money for the items we needed.

The Prussian looked so happy! I thought I did a good thing!

...Until Russia came to me about two hours later wondering where Gillian was.

"Well, I sent her shopping, because I've been backed up on my paperwork lately..."

He looked like he was about to panic. "No, she will run, or contact her brother..." He readjusted his scarf. "She might leave me.."

Wait. Was Russia growing attached to Gillian?

She looked back with the full intention to ask him, and she just saw the door blur, and his pipe disappear from the umbrella canister.

...?

* * *

**Filler. FILLER. **

**I'm so sorry it stunk... but it's filler!**

**Well now, I feel bad... so here's the first ever Prussia x Germany mad I ever saw!**

**www(dot)youtube(dot)com(slash)watch?v=_BCNXnlYH8s&feature=related**

**It's awesome!**

**My fanfiction isn't... -sits in emo corner-**

**( TT ...TT)**

**Stay awesome, people... review?**


	9. Live for teh moment, Gil!

Chapter 9: Live for teh moment

OUTSIDE!

Hot diggity damn!

I should go visit bruder, at the wall.

But I have this shopping to do.. I'll do that first.

I wander around the town, relishing the fact that I can even go outside. Even if I am freezing my ass off.

So many shops..

One of those.. and those... and three of those, and.. seven of those? That's outrageous!

Hell, it's not my money. And one of those.. and that, too.

After I got all of the food, I put them inside of the bag. "That's lighter than I thought it would be!" I laughed aloud, even thought it was kinda fucking heavy. I'm not as strong as I used to be..

People stared. I didn't give a flying fuck. I'll whistle, and walk like I would normally if I want to.

* * *

(Russia's pov)

What is she trying to do!

What if her brother were to somehow get to her..?

Germany would try anything to get her back. Even a third world war.

No, I refuse to let it happen.

"At the very inkling of a misdemeanor.. " I slammed my pipe into my hand.

I followed her stealthily. And seeing as no one announced my presence, they couldn't sense me either.

Such is my logic.

But she seemed happy to be outside.

Who wishes to be outside? I go there nearly every day.. the blizzards.. the warring..

The Prussian was smiling, whistling... she was never this happy at my house!

Why, my house isn't good enough for her? Free room and board isn't good enough for little Miss I'm-by-far-older-than-you-and-therefore-smarter-and-stronger-you-stupid-Russian-I-hate-your-guts-go-die-somewhere-dark-and-cold.

Catching sight of the wall, her face brightened even more. But she didn't run straight to it, as I'd expected.

Prussia looked around, then sped into an ally. I followed her, wondering what she was doing. It seemed very suspicious..

But interesting. As she was.

I reached a fork in the road. I listened closely, then followed her steps left.

Eventually, I came to an an ally that was clean and well kept, having no bums or riff-raff.

I saw her press her hand to the newly cemented wall. I thought I had the entire thing inspected, making sure that it was done by experts. Though really, who needs experts for wall recovery? The Chinese, maybe..

Ha-ha. I made a funny. Sarcasm, anyone?

Prussia approached the wall. "_It was opened only a little while ago._." She was speaking in German. I did not tell her that she could...

My eyes widened, and I gripped tighter on my pipe.

Was it mutiny? I let my minions know too many of my military secrets... she will have to be-

"_Russia's a complete bastard, and his sisters are weird. The older one is scared of him, and the younger has a brother complex._"

The albino placed her ear to the wall.

She laughed."_If I have a brother complex, you have a sister complex. His minions are nice, though_." The silverette kept her ear on the wall, smile growing. "I'm fine. I can hold out on my own until things change."

I could sense another nation on the other side of the wall. It was Germany, alright.

"_-_!" He heard a loud, muffled voice. I could almost make out what it was saying...

"_I know the guards are here, bruder. Leave_."

A protest? I think?...

"_I said **leave**_."

Silent resolve was her response to more protesting, yet I could sense her staring forlornly at the wall.

Voices came, dying down. Most likely the guards I posted on the other side.

The silverette started shuddering, sobs began wracking her body. "I miss you, bruder, goddammit..."

Gillian could cry? She's killed possibly thousands, and she cries now? Moreover, why did she not tell him when he was here? I do not understand.

But I cannot just leave her here...

EsPeCiAlLy WiThOuT pUnIsHmEnT...

That's not right...

It's perfectly justifiable.

No, you wouldn't let a normally crying girl by herself, would you?

Yes I would. Fuck off, wimp...

Make me, you-

No. She's still crying. Have some chivalry, please.

Russia isn't one for chivalry, bitch.

Shut up.

Make me-

WE HAVE A MATTER AT HAND! My voices may argue later. For now, though...

She was slumping onto herself, cries nearly soundless. The wall was completely supporting her.

I approached her slowly, reaching out a hand. I covered her eyes, trying to comfort her. "Shhh..." I put my other hand on her shoulder, slipping it around, slowly, to hug her closely.

She seemed to calm down a bit...

BuT iT's AnOyYiNg...

She's in pain. Do you not remember the revolution?

ShUt It... We HaVe AlL sUrViVeD tRoUbLe.

She turned around, and then looked up with tears in her eyes. They widened immensely, tears staining her pale face. "R-Russia?"

I smiled. "I said to call me Ivan, da?"

The Prussian tried to break free of my grasp, but my hold on her was too tight. "YoU sHoUlDn'T tAlK tO yOuR bRoThEr, GiLlIaN..."

She started trembling, almost worse than Latvia on a bad day.

Then tried to free herself of my grasp yet again.

And I decided to lean in and kiss her. She was protesting, but she was learned of over time about my PuNiShMeNtS.

...but she was still crying... it's not nice to be mean to a crying girl..

I'm Russia, why would I be 'nice'? She said it herself...

I noticed that I was still kissing her, only now, my Gillian was kissing back. I broke the kiss in my surprise.

The Prussian slumped onto my jacket, no longer crying. "I'm sorry, R- Ivan. Am I going to be punished for contacting Ludwig?"

Will she? Her situation is pitiful... and yet I am not one for pity. Is seems as if she's become completely immune to my punishments...

Is my dear Prussia broken?

If I stop now, will my Gillian be fixed?

I should test this...

"Nyet. Not now." Gillian looked at me with wide Crimson eyes. It seems she didn't believe me..

I started dragging her by her hand out of the ally. "If we stay here any longer, a guard will come." He looked back at her and smiled. "It is time to go home."

Her face fell completely. She held her head low, and carried the pack the entire way home.

"Lithuania! I am home!" When I called this they all came rushing to the front door.

"Welcome back Russia." They said in monotone. They all fearfully glanced at Gillian, whose head was still lowered, beautiful silver hair shielding her face.

I took the food pack off of her back and nudged her towards Victoria. "Make sure she eats.." I say, leaving them.

* * *

**I'm sorry if I accidentally made Ivan ooc, but this is my first time writing from his direct pov. I tried my best.**

**I imagine that Russia speaks to himself in his head like I do... -maniacal laughter- x3**

**But any tips on writing him would be lovely.**

**History time~:**

**Before the wall came up itself, a figurative wall ran through Europe. Europe became bi-polar in the sense that it had to choose one side. Prussia was forced onto Russia's side. There were two sides to this great divide. This divide was also referred to as the iron curtain.**

**The nations in the Warsaw pact: Russia, East Germany (Essentially Prussia!), Czechoslovakia, Hungary, Poland, The Baltic's, Romania, and Albania (though Albania withdrew long before the war was over, in about the late 60's).**

**The nations in NATO: U.S., England, France, Canada, Belgium, Denmark, West Germany, Italy, Iceland, Netherlands, Norway, Portugal, Greece, Turkey, Spain, and Luxembourg.**

**All off my history is probably out of order... SORRY!**

**Any critique is ok, I know my stories need a lot of work! In fact, I welcome it! I know I have bad spelling.. grammar.. plotting.. characters... actions.. picturing.. no one can tell what else is happening.. I can't write boys love.. settings.. I have giant author notes..crud, my stories stink..**

**I do have a question though. Writing simple sentences like: I did this, I did that are all I can muster for direct first person pov. But if I used a different first person, the phrasing could be more elaborate. Like: She tried her very best, but couldn't finish it then, and eventually did.**

**Bad examples, da?**

**Confidence level: 3% **

**( TT _TT)**

**Thank you for all of your lovely reviews!**

**Stay awesome! **

**

* * *

**

**::Edit::**  
**I keep messing up my povs..**  
**That's enough editing for me today. I'll do more tomorrow!**


	10. Lithuania's Misconseptions

**Chapter 10: Lithuania's misconceptions**

**(Prussia's pov)**

What was that?

Why am I still- wait... shouldn't I be happy?

"Prussia?" I looked over and saw the Baltic's staring at me.

"What?"

"That was odd." Lithuania said, looking amazed. "I thought he would punish you..."

I looked back over to where he left. "So did I..." It seemed like I was acting a bit to solemn, because they looked sad. So I added, "But I guess my awesome wins!" and that made them look normal again. Well, as normal as they could be while Russia was in residence...

Lithuania smiled. "Would you like wurst for dinner? It was on the list.."

I looked at it. It was! I hugged her. "Would I ever! That'd be awesome!" She led me off to the kitchen.

But I was really just putting on a happy face.

* * *

(Liet's pov)

Prussia did really well that night!

She ate her dinner, and since Russia left the house, we had a fun conversation. As much fun as you could have in the house of Russia... Even Latvia had some fun. She drank a tad too much, though...

But over the next few weeks Russia was visiting her quite often...

I saw Prussia when she was alone.

And she was becoming depressed.

It was very unlike her to be this way....

She started eating less and less, eventually skipping meals altogether.

I let this happen for a week until I could no longer stand it.

I knocked on the door, and she opened it slightly. "Yes?" She sounded weak, hopeless. Her face and cheeks were suncan, and when I looked at her closely, I could see the outline of her ribs.

"Gillian. Please eat." I held up some food, trying to hand it to her.

She walked away from the door, sitting back down at her desk. "I'm not hungry, Tori..."

I stood next to her, worried. "Please eat, Gillian. It's been a full week. That isn't healthy! You'll di-"

She looked away sadly, knowing I knew.

I stopped. Because I realized she wanted to die. I put the food down in front of her. "Gillian, you have so much to live for!"

"Like what?" She said, pushing the food away.

"Like for your brother. Wouldn't he be sad if you.. died?" I grasped onto her shoulders. "Estonia. Latvia. Hungary. Austria. England. Denmark. And everyone else you know! They would be sad. " I looked into her eyes. "I would be sad."

"How do you know them?...." Gillian said softly.

"I had to do research on your past for Russia." I tartly said, earning a knowing ah in response..

She gazed at the food hungrily, but then looked back at me with pure resolve. "No. I'm not eating. That's final." Se looked at me firmly until we heard nearly silent footsteps grace the room's entrance.

"So that is what has been wrong!" Russia was standing in the doorway. Gillian's face morphed into a look of pure terror .

"I was wondering to myself the other day, 'My Gillian doesn't seem as lively as usual~' and now I know!" He giggled. I could feel Prussia shake.

By god, what did he do to her to make her like this? Even I wasn't this bad after.. the induced trauma...

"So now, Gillian must eat!" He started walking over, slow step by slow step. Prussia was frozen. "Da?" He held out the food.

She didn't respond.

He sighed. "Lithuania, leave. I'm mad already that you didn't do as I said."

I shifted from her to him, watching everything. From Gillian's apparent fear, to Ivan's ignorance that he was the one causing it."Bu-"

His complexion turned dark. "She will eat." Gillian was still frozen to the spot, eyes wide. "Whether she likes it or not..."

I left, silently praying that Gillian would just eat the goddamned food.

"STAY AWAY FROM ME! HOW DARE YOU, YOU FUCKER!"

"KoLkOlKoLkOl...."

I guess not...

But at least she started coming to meals again.

* * *

**I'm thinking this was on**ly filler, da? She's starting to get sadder...

**Again, I tweaked the history a bit... practically flipped it... the real starvation wasn't willing...**

**But hey, maybe I can pop some real history in here -opens binder- :**

**Well, since Russia refused any help via America, and had East tight in his grasp, they weren't getting as much food as they needed. Of course, the other nations would have helped too. And they did. The Berlin airlift was a collaboration of three airports in other parts of Germany. They brought food and other supplies to Berlin, helping Prussia's poor, hungry people. When the wall was initially put up, it was to stop people from leaving East. You see, from 1959-61, 20% of the East people left to West and other parts of Europe. The bad thing about this was that those were the thinkers and business people who could have at least tried to change the way things were. The people who were left had to deal with it... and were Russian via replacement by Russia. **

**He's a jackass, da?**

**I believe all of my information is right, but if anyone see's anything wrong, I'll change it!**

**Hani, I told you I'd put this out yesterday, and I'm sorry I didn't... I was sick! And my back and head and arms hurt... **

**-ACHOO-**

**I'd like to thank all of my awesome reviewers, and my awesome Lion-beta! You guys rule~ (and drop-kick my writers block)**

**Where was it? Oh yeah.. But I'd feel much better if everyone reviewed!**

**( ' u')/**

**Stay awesome!**


	11. Saving grace for now

**Chapter 11: Saving Grace for now**

Hey, what's this?

_You say you wanna revolution?_

This awesome music?

_Well, you know _

I scooched closer to my hidden radio._  
We all want to change the world _

This was something unheard of..._  
You tell me that it's evolution _

I declare this band to be awesome!

_Well, you know _

I wonder what my people will think of it?

_We all want to change the world  
But when you talk about destruction  
Don't you know that you can count me out  
Don't you know it's gonna be all right _

"Da.. are you quite sure about that?"

_all right, all right_

"Not anymore..." I said, seeing an angry Russian staring at my radio. I clicked it off, and turned around fully. "Don't you know it's rude not to knock before you enter a lady's room?"

Russia smiled. "Ah, but Gillian, you are not a lady."

I smirked. "Touché."

"Hee hee, it is not good to do things I prohibit, Gillian." He giggled, and I sighed.

The brief happiness the song provided evaporated, and I became depressed again quickly."What are the consequences then?..."

He frowned, then shook his head. "Nothing today. But do not listen to any channel on that radio I tell you not to or else I will regret it." He left, leaving me in awe.

What the fuck just happened? Again?.....

I'm not going to trust him. He won't give me a slap on the wrist for misdemeanors forever...

And when he lashes out, I won't be able to hold out for that long.

Mein gott, Bruder! I'll need you to save me by then..

* * *

**Short filler chapter is shorter after a bit of self-editing...**

**The song was Revolution, by the Beatles.**

**I once saw this thing on the History channel on the Beatles. It said that they were popular on the East side of the wall with the youth. Bootlegged copies were sold secretly, and if you were found with some, the charges were severe. VERY SEVERE. But the youth of then had to thrive on something. Plus there were the secret airwaves~! **

**I just wanted to throw some Beatles trivia in there. I love the Beatles~. If I'm wrong please correct me!**

**(Ne! I was watching family guy today, and the episode where Stewie, Brian, and Mort go back in time to when Germany takes over Poland during WW2~)**

**I'M SORRY IT STUNK! I JUST DIDN'T WANT TO LEAVE YOU GUYS HANGING! FILLER IS BETTER THEN NOTHING, DA?**

**I think this has turned into a giant history fic. I'm sorry. Should I add it to the community, ****Twilightlover33?**

**(' ^ .^)**

**Stay awesome!**


	12. After the storm is silence Ish

**PARDON THE UN-AWEOSME FILLER. I DIDN'T WANT TO LEAVE YOU GUYS HANGING... AGAIN... **

**Please enjoy.. TT _TT**

**Chapter 12: After the storm is the silence, and vice versa**

* * *

I sat awake on my bed, shivering under the covers. I was tired of Russia and his little visits. He was still there for heaven's sake! I mean, couldn't he leave or something? Awesome didn't want to deal with this bastard! I'm weak right now...

She froze, as he mumbled incoherent Russian in his sleep.

Then she sighed, and put her clothes back on. Bastard... what the fuck did he think I was?... That Russian fucker will get his just desserts eventually...

But for now... "You just need to let me go back to my Bruder, Ivan..."

She looked at his sleeping face. He was so much more peaceful when he slept. It was as though he was an innocent child again.

Now that I think about it... what was he like as a child?

Think.. think.. think...

I didn't know him then...

I sighed, then got back under the covers. Russia mumbled, "Nyet.. Natalya... I won't marry you..." and his brows started furrowing. I sighed, and petted his head until he returned to normal. He breathed out a sigh of relief, and rolled over.

I may not have known him back then, but I knew Mother Russia. Even the awesome me stayed the hell away from her.

Mein Gott! How the hell did she get along with those Mongols?...

If there was anyone you didn't want to meet, it was Mother Russia. Ukraine certainly got her better traits from Mother Russia, if you know what I mean. Russia himself was practically a male rip-off of her. She was far worse in the bi-polar department than he was. MUCH WORSE. Belarus's creepiness didn't have anything on Mother Russia.

Ugh... just.. I shiver just thinking about her... I better push those thoughts out of my head.

Russia turned in his sleep again. This time, some of his hair fell into his face. I decided to push it back behind his ear, and he smiled in his sleep. I blushed...

Wait.

I blushed?

Nah, I'm imagining it. Awesome wouldn't blush at a monster. Then I turned back over, hugged my pillow, and hoped he would stay the hell away before the unawesome depression I was catching settled back in.

* * *

**Russia is in the middle of Europe and Asia. When it was taken over by Mongols, its cultural development went on a standstill while the rest of Europe had Renaissance. They tried to catch up later on, mind you. The thing is, even though this happened, Russia has nearly nonexistent Asian features in their bloodline. They aren't European, they aren't Asian, they are just Russian. They are themselves and no one else. It's weird.**

**I'm sorry I didn't update this weekend!  
AND THAT THIS IS ONY FILLER.**

**MEIN GOTT, FORGIVE ME, ARU!**

**See, I had this huge timeline due, aru! And it wasn't going to just wait for me to do it! So I got a couple of ideas from it, aru. And I've decided that I'm going to try my best to do a historical fanfiction on China's life this summer, aru! It'll have genderbendings, of course. So any tips on writing China would be awesome, aru! Thanks! (Or Korea.. and Japan.. and Taiwan.. and Vietnam.. or any other children.. and can someone also tell me if Tibet was under China's rule, or just an associate? )**

**http:/ www . youtube . com / watch?v = O23D9AJNxmQ**

**That video has nothing to do with Prussia, but it's still awesome.**

**Thank you so much for reading, please review! And to those who always review, you guys are awesome times infinity plus maple syrup! (The answer is awesome and/or PruCan~)**

**( TT wTT)b  
STAY AWEOSME!**


	13. Grey Skys Return

**Chapter 13: Grey skies return**

**I believe I have invented Crack/Angst. The beginning is crack, and the ending is angst~**

**Or not. I fil at angst.**

**Enjoy please!**

**OH YEAH. I don't own Hetalia. If I did, there would be alot more genderbendings, ending in Hetero pairings.**

* * *

My week had been pretty awesome so far!

First day, Russia left on some sort of expedition that morning. Second day, his sisters went to their places to govern them a bit. Which , by the third day, left the Baltic's and I alone.

And guess what that means?

DRINKING PARTY!

I was drinking some of my awesome beer, the German kind! Bruder would be proud of my smuggling skills! I've had it since a nice guy gave me a good deal about a week ago! I got a couple dozen bottles! Well, they were Russian, so I hate they're guts partially.

Latvia was partially drunk, even though she was only three bottles in. She's not stopping yet. though!

Lithuania was being responsible, and making us some food on the fuel of only about one bottle~

Estonia was blushing because he drank about..

WHAT? TEN?

I only have a few dozen left now, dammit!

Fine, the rest are for me.

"Hey Latvia, think you could take me on?" I said to her as she finished a bottle off.

She looked at me for a moment like I was crazy.

Then smiled."Yur on!"

I pulled out another two bottles, as she sat determinedly, and Estonia cheered us on.

* * *

SPLITTING HEADACHE.

DAMN.

I sat up, knocking my covers off the bed and rubbing my poor, sore head. I looked around, seeing the burning light streaming through the windows. I closed them, sudden movement hurting me."Bah!"

But the headache was worth it~!

I had 23 beers before passing out! Go me! If you don't count what I had before the contest started.

I walked around the room, cleaning up a bit before I left. Seeing the empty hallway, I smelt something wonderful!

Was that.. WURST? I raced down the stairs, wanting my delicious treat!

"WURST?" I said loudly. I looked at the kitchen, which was relatively tidy in comparison to the rest of the house. Like how Beer bottles were strewn about, along with plates and glasses. Latvia was sleeping on the couch, hugging an empty beer bottle. The poor girl lost against me in the battle! Although she held out pretty well. Nineteen was a lot, and it killed my awesome stash... and gave me this unawesome headache... but hey, she's a cool kid~!

Lithuania was wearing an apron, and she had various items spread over the counters. She looked really happy to me. "I decided it was a special occasion! Then I also made regular sausage, bacon, along with fried potatoes. Along with some fried rice, I also made some foods from the other two countries, and you wouldn't understand the pronunciation.."

I smiled, and ran over to her and hugged her. "I LOVE YOU TORI!"

I squished her tightly, until she squeaked, "The food will burn, Gil..." and I let her go. She wiped her hands on her apron for a moment, then an idea struck her."How about you clean the house a bit before we eat, hm?"

I obliged, mainly because all we ate was foreign food. Blegh. But you learn to live with these things.

Cleaning would be easier with helpers... I shook Latvia a bit, and she sat up abruptly. "I'm sorry, I d-don't know what came over me-.." she looked at me through tired eyes. "Oh hello Prussia... I thought you were Russia for a minute." She yawned, and then held her head.

I smiled. "There's hangover medicine in the bathroom, kid." She stood, picking up bottles as she walked that way.

After about an hour, the house was spotless!

Lithuania sighed. "There's still a layer of trash covering the floor..."

..By my standards.

I started picking up what she called trash, but she stopped me. I looked at her quizzically. "That's alright, Gil, I'll take care of it. You just go eat your food."

I grinned. "Thanks, Tori!" Hugging her again, after seeing the sad reminiscing face return. Then I skipped off to the kitchen.

Digging into my food, it was perfectly made! Tori sure knows how to cook!

I was just cleaning my plate off when I heard a _**SLAM.**_

I looked to see where the noise was coming from. I stood, running to the main entryway. Tori came in, holding a trash bag, and was apparently startled.

There, in the doorway, stood Russia. He was holding his side, bleeding profusely. A trail of blood was running out of his mouth as well. His eyes were half-lidded, and he seemed to be barely conscious.

I froze up.

"Victoria, get me the medical supplies..." she dropped her trash, running to get the supplies. And he limped past me, to the kitchen. "Gillian, follow me."

I did. I also started shivering.

When we reached the kitchen, he sat, boring into me with his purple eyes. Tori couldn't have come any sooner, because I felt like he was going to burn right through me. "Russia, we'll have to take off your coat.." I helped her get the bulking object off of him. I looked at him without it. He was really muscular under all that clothing, with nearly no fat. He was wearing a white, and red spotted, shirt. The red spots were getting bigger, and you could see various bullet holes and slashes on his skin. Until Tori began patching them up.

Then Russia started wincing, and stared at me even harder. I think he could smell my fear. Bastard..

I was still holding his jacket, gripping it tightly. As if it could shield me from him. But it couldn't because he just kept staring. I closed my eyes tightly, hoping he would stop.

"Why you?" I reopened them. Tori missed a beat, but continued working.

I pointed at myself, and he nodded once. Then he didn't speak again until he was entirely patched up. He stood, making Tori look my way frightfully, and making me back up. He cornered me at the wall. "Why do they hurt me for you?"

I'm confused.. "What?"

He leaned in closer. "They. They are the other side of Europe. Those behind the iron curtain.." He put his hands on my shoulders. "They want you... they want my Baltic's.." His grip tightened. "They want to take everything from me..." He leaned closely on her. I freaked. I started shivering badly. His gaze was colder than ice.

It was colder than winter.

Lithuania couldn't do anything but watch.

"And I would like to think, Gillian dearest, that it is all. Your. Fault." His hands slowly snaked around my neck as he was talking. "But thinking that will not solve my problem." He lifted me in the air, glaring at me. "Getting rid of you, would be the best answer, Gillian..." He brought me up to his eye level, and I tried to break free.

I could only hold onto the monstrous hands that kept me in place in a vain attempt to stay awake. "Fu..ck.." I managed to get out, and his expression filled with even more distaste. "You need to learn to be a lady, Gillian.."

His grip barely loosened, but enough so that I could speak coherently. "I'm a nation, not a lady!" I glared at him, hoping he would get the message.

He smiled, darker than I'd ever seen before."You will be a lady, Gillian. Even if I have to beat it into you..."

I stopped struggling, not even bothering to try and escape. Lithuania looked at me, tears forming in her eyes. Estonia and Latvia... probably heard the commotion, but wanted to stay out of the way. Smart nations...

"Comply to my wishes, and you may live, my pet." I closed my eyes, falling unconscious to the sound of Russia's laughter... "Good Gillian... soon you will completely be one with Russia... da?"

* * *

**Sorry for the wait! Mom grounded me for a day or two.. I'm ninjaing to get this to you guys! **

**HaniChanTwili gave me this awesome mad a little while back~**

**www(dot)youtube(dot)com(slash)watch?v=6aWO4q2_xR8**

**Isn't it AWESOME?**

**I explained the history about the Iron Curtin a bit ago... I'm not doing it again. I hate repetition!**

**Also, does this count as a cliffhanger?**

**Yeah, at the beginning of the Hetalia series, some people thought Russia was fat. He isn't, he's big boned.**

**Nothing much else to say... EXCEPT:**

**I HAVE EXAMS ALL OF NEXT WEEK. So instead of updating, I shall be trying to study! I'll try to update at least on Wednesday for you guys.. But the next update will be on Saturday, then Monday. I think. Maybe I'll leave off- **

**Gil: -clamps hand over my mouth- Don't tell them that yet!**

**Me: MURGLEFLORP... -falls asleep-**

**Gil: SHIT. -drops me- Well, thanks for reading today.. Please review? It'll make you nearly as awesome as I am! And she wrote to tell uuh.. Hani, Lunar, and TCC that she nicknamed them and would like to thank them for being here since the beginning. **

( e we)/

(Stay aweosme~)


	14. The fire still burns in the ashes

(LIET POV)

For the entire next year, Prussia went through what I can only describe as hell. Every night, Russia would 'visit' her in the basement he made her prison. I felt bad for thanking my lucky stars that the room was soundproof.

After the first month, he finally called me down.

"Victoria, would you go heal Gillian?"

I dropped the plate I was holding, and it crashed to the floor.

"You can let little Latvia pick that up. Now GO, da?" He said the last part with malice seeping into his voice. I went rather quickly preparing for the worst.

I had forgotten what the worst could be.

Gillian was sitting in a corner. Huddled, hugging her knees. Just sitting there, with wide eyes looking at me until she saw I wasn't Russia, and she put her head back on her knees.

"Gillian?" She cringed at the noise. I tried coming a bit closer, but she closed onto herself even more. I got a closer look at her. Her uniform was cut and torn... She was covered in cuts varying from an inch to a foot or more in length. Bruises covered her body, ranging from a dark purple to bright yellow, standing out on her white skin. I felt tears start to roll down my cheeks.

"G-Gillian?" She didn't do a thing when I hugged her tightly, sobbing onto her. She looked at me sadly, not saying anything. After a few minutes I got up, cleaned her wounds, changed her outfit, and managed to get her to come out of her corner.

She smiled sadly at me as I left, and he entered, making that smile vanish.

Every few nights, he would make me go in there to patch up her wounds. She was getting worse and worse, and I could see that he was scarring her in more ways the one purposely, for the sole reason of breaking her. Mind, body, and soul..

Until after a full year... she was finally let out of that hole.

Latvia was the one to tell me the good news.

"Prussia's coming out! Russia's letting her, Lithuania!" She was brightening a little bit, and I smiled.

Until I saw her.

She was paler then before. Far paler. Some of the scars could be seen, along with some bruises that looked newer. But what surprised me most was that she was wearing a Russian dress. It was actually more similar to Belarus's usual dress style, except it was slightly different. It was colored in red and black. It trailed along behind her, revealed her arms, and was tight around the waist. It definitely showed off her... bust... But her hair was just let loose, other than the usual ponytail she held it in.

Russia was smiling when he came from behind her. "She has become so obedient, my Baltic's!" He placed his hand on her shoulder, and she flinched. "Now who is glad I made her a lady?"

No response. We were just... shocked.

He pretended to think, tapping his fingers on her shoulder. "Should I call France? Or maybe England.. she is a lady, da?" He smiled, as Prussia just stood silently.

Estonia stopped slouching, and we all snapped back into our emotionless stupor. "No?"

"Da. Then I shall show you off to the other nations~" He left her with the Baltic's, and they all watched him leave the house. "Time to prepare some things~...kOlKoLkOlKoL..."

She stared at the door for a minute or two. She started shivering again after she made sure he left. "C-could I have some water?"

I nodded. "Latvia, please get her a blanket as well." I rushed off, getting water and returning quickly to see her slumped on the floor, holding her knees to her face as I saw on that first day.

She lifted her head, looking at all three of us in the eyes. "Hey guys.." We put our complete attention on her. "I know I said I would save you from this bastard.." She put her head on her knees again, and we had to strain to hear her. "I'm trying my best to.. but I have no power whatsoever in his grasp.."

She didn't say anything for a few minutes afterword. We started exchanging glances, and shifting restlessly. She startled us when she suddenly stood. "WHICH IS WHY AWESOME WILL GET OUT OF HIS GRASP!" She held her hand up in a fist. "I WILL SAVE YOU GUYS!" Then she suddenly looked around, seemingly startled by her own outburst.

I hugged her. "If it's any consolation, Prussia, we do believe in you." Then Latvia hugged her, then Estonia. She started shivering again, and we heard a knock on the door.

"DA? I AM HOME." She shivered even harder, with Latvia joining in. I opened the door, shooing them into the kitchen.

"I'm sorry for taking so long, Russia." I said, bowing slightly. He walked in, most all of the day being peaceful after that.

* * *

**Meh.. I've been depressed lately... so here's a sadish chapter...**

**Can anyone give me some advice on how to write PruCan? I'm trying, and failing..**

**Well, I hope you liked this chapter! I was going to put it out yesterday, and I was booted off of the computer by mom-a-nom.. and I'll put another chapter out tomorrow! So.. yeah. It'll be a builder, and you'll see-!**

**Prussia: -knocks me out- HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU- NO SPOILERS!**

**France: EHHH? Then does the appearance of onii-chan give anything away?**

**Russia: KoLkOlKoLkOlKoLkOl... **

**( ' J ')~DA?**

**Prussia: GO AWAY! GO, BOTH OF YOU! NOT AWEOSME!**

**Me: -rubs sore head- Review? It would get these guys in order.. **

**Prussia: Stay awesome, readers!**


	15. Fools gold

I stood in front of the large, welcoming building. It was very familiar. Russia was in front leading, followed by Belarus and Ukraine. Estonia, Latvia, and Lithuania all stood beside me as we followed them. See, this world meeting was held in... Germany..

That's right, my old home.

I was dreading this.

I was dressed in a fucking dress for heaven's sake!

I HATE DRESSES. WITH A FURIOUS PASSION. AND THIS ONE WAS LONG SLEEVED. AND BLACK. France would love this.. Unawesome... and Ivan made me keep my fucking hair down again. AGAIN! I KEEP IT UP, OR SHORT, FOR A REASON. COME ON. AND HE MADE ME WAIR A FUCKING PAIR OF GLOVES. WIERD, WHITE, GIRLY, LACY, GLOVES! HEELS. I don't have to say any more about heels. They. Are. That. Bad.

I hope that bastard burns in the deepest pit of hell for the rest of eternity, that the devil fucks him daily personally, he can-

"Prussia, we should go in now.." I looked over to see Lithuania was the only one outside with me...

I shook my head. "Fuck, Tori! I don't want to go!"

She looked at the door, and then grabbed onto my shoulders. "Listen. You need to behave today. I'm sorry to be the one to tell you this, but Russia is the only one with complete control of you. You need to listen to him, or he will put you back in the basement until you do."

I started trembling. Goddamnit.. that bastard... I managed to pipe up an, "O-okay.. " She turned and started walking to the door, but I stopped her before she entered. " ..but not for him." Lithuania gave me a funny look. "It's so that I can keep that awesome promise I made to you guys that I'll try.."

She smiled, and hugged me. "You'll do fine." We started walking to the room, it was at the end of some long fucking hallway. "Now all you have to do is stay quiet, keep your hands folded in your lap, smile, hide your injuries, stay quiet, stay seated, sit in a chair in Russia's general area (he likes it when his minions do that without telling them), don't make any outbursts, don't say anything about what has happened to you whatsoever."

I laughed. "So I pretty much can't speak anything from my awesome mind? I can only try my best..""

She gave me a look that said, 'NO.' Then she walked into the meeting room, and the door closed slowly.

I think I'm getting better at reading people..

But then I took a big breath. Held my head high. Remembered how awesome Prussia is! How awesome it was... no! HOW AWESOME IT STILL IS! Russia can go suck it, I'm Prussia, and I'm a fucking German! GERMANS AREN'T NANSY PANSY ENGLISH LADIES.

I slammed the door open. The entire room stared at me. I'd say that nearly everyone gaped at my attire. Russia, though, gaped at my entrance. He started radiating some baaaad waves...

I smirked. I'm already in this far, might as well finish the job. I'm going to be punished either way!

So I reached down and tore my heels off, threw them out the door, and walked with a smirk on my lips and a skip in my step, strutting (?) to my place at the table. I passed by where bruder was sitting and ruffled his hair, making him blush as he tried to fix it, but he still looked at me with amazement. I sat down next to him, crossed my feet on the table, and gave the people around the table an overlook. "Go on, don't stop the meeting now. It looked like things were about to get interesting." They still stared. A few glanced between Russia and me. Yeah, with me coming, things were interesting~!

Tori facepalmed. Latvia started shivering. Estonia buried his head in the notes he was taking for Russia.

And Russia... Mein gott... I could see Russia's bad aura emanating from way across the table. But he still held his fake little smile. I waved at him, and it faltered a bit. That's why I chose to sit here. I looked back at my bruder, and he was tearing up a little. Then he realized this and wiped his face off rapidly. When he looked back at me, I motioned toward the speechless people with my eyes, and he understood. "BACK TO THE MEETING!" He pointed at America. "YOU TALK FIRST!"

America was jolted out of the trance, and stood quickly. "Okay, so.."

I leaned over to Ludwig. "Miss me, big guy?"

He looked at me from the corner of his eye, pretending to take notes. He blushed a little at his first statement. "If you want the truth, then yes. I did. Why did you make an entrance such as that? Didn't you think of the repercussions Russia will.. um.. do to you?" He looked at me sadly, and I sighed.

Our whisper conversation didn't go unnoticed. Russia only had eyes for me at that table.

I glared right back at him, making him back down a little. "Yeah, but my people don't like this guy. They make my rebellious tendencies come out, y'know?"

My bruder looked at me like I was crazy, shook his head, and stood for his turn. "Thank you, America..."

UGGGGGGHHHH! I'M IN SO MUCH TROUBLE WHEN I GET HOME.

STUPID, STUPID, STUPID ME!

Wait, that place isn't home..

I glared back at Russia. He smiled, and I could see the malice in his purple eyes. He was imagining what he would do to me... from what I could tell.

I was going to be in deep shit when I got home...

SO I MIGHT AS WELL ENJOY MYSELF NOW!

I stuck my tongue out at him, an laughed softly when he almost stood up.

The prey in me told me to stop it, I'm only digging my grave deeper!

The predator in me told me to get some of the other Germanic nations to help me beat this fucker up before he could do that to me..

But the awesome in me had a different idea, yet again. It said to just keep things as they are, and since I've already gone this far, I'm going to play it for all it's worth!

I saw France and Spain looking at me, and I dipped my head as to say 'meet me under the table, guys!' They nodded, and crawled under.

"YOU GIT! I TOLD YOU NOT TO DO THAT!" England shook her fist at America as she yelled at him about something that wasn't actually worth arguing about.

"WHICH IS EXACTLY WHY I DID IT, DUH!" He led her on, and pulled out a hamburger.

"SJKDFNHOWAURGIQWVEFAUIWEY!" But then she tackled him from across the table, and everyone, including Ivan, was all too distracted by the one sided fistfight. Because apparently, a hero would rather have his ass kicked then hit a girl.

Stupid, thy name is America.

I crawled under the table. Since we were in bruder's place, I didn't have to worry about getting gum in my hair. He always had this place dry-cleaned.

I was hugged from both sides. "GILLIAN!" Whisper-yelled both Spain and France. They nearly squeezed the life out of me, and I laughed softly.

I patted both of their heads. "Now Francis, Antonio..." I looked at their hopeful faces, and then I glomped them. "I missed you guys so much! Without you, I'm a little less awesome!"

We listened to the fight going on. Then we huddled up. "Listen up, guys! I'll be busting out someday soon, so don't give up on me! Make sure bruder eats, because sometimes he forgets during wartime. Keep my awesome going around. You guys following?" They nodded. Then Antonio laughed a little. I turned to him."Something funny?"

He laughed a little more. "You're like a mother hen, Gil. You haven't changed at all!"

"Far be it from me to call you a liar, da?" I froze. Then turned. I saw Russia huddled up next to me under the table. I started trembling, and France and Spain glared at him.

"This is a private conversation, Russia. I would be indebted to you if you left.." France tried to use his charm to get out of this sticky situation, but it didn't affect Russia.

He leaned over to my face, and I could feel his breath near my ear. "Ah, soon you will not be able to escape. After the meeting, of course." He giggled, and it sent shivers down my spine. "Da, because after it, no one will help you. By doing this, they thought you were fine, not a victim of maltreatment as they expected. As you are, Gillian.." I stared unseeingly past my friends.

Fuck. He's right. I looked at him, and he was fucking smiling. Laughing at that what he predicted would come true. He crawled off, Kol-ing. I put my head in my hands. "." I droned.

Spain and France looked PO-ed now. "What did he say to you, Gillian?" Spain pulled an axe out of nowhere. "I'll get him for you!" He accidentally rammed it into the table, and it got stuck.

I pulled his axe out, and pushed it towards him. Then I smiled sadly."Hey guys.. just forget about me.. I'm not worth killing yourselves over.." I looked up at them, tearing up. "I got myself into this.. you really shouldn't hurt over me.." I started crawling away.

They looked frantic. "Gillian!" France called. I looked over my shoulder, almost at my seat. "I shall visit you there! I promise!" I nodded, and then they both started crawling off.

When I got back in my seat, the fight was just ending, so no one except bruder noticed my absence. America wiped off his face. "Man, England, that almost hurt!" And that earned him another punch in the gut.

Germany looked around. "Is that all? No one has anything more to say?" No response. "This meeting is over!"

He looked back at me, smiling. "Gil, are you happy you were able to talk to-.." He stopped after seeing that I was sad, unlike my previous attitude. The air itself around me was dense, not jovial like before...

"Yeah.. but I should have behaved.." I said in nearly a whisper. "Now I'm going to be punished.." The room was quiet enough to hear a pin drop. And yet no one but bruder could hear me...

I felt a hand on my shoulder and looked up. It was Lithuania. "Russia would like us to leave now, Gil."

I turned back once more to my brother, and bowed a little. "Thank you for having me in your wonderful country, Germany." I gave him a small smirk that didn't fool him. "I hope to be here again soon..."

Then I walked alongside Lithuania to the door with my head down and my pride broken, and I swear that this is what Russia wanted. The room was quiet when we all left, and Russia closed the door eerily after us, smiling at the crowd one last time.

I was only the icon that showed how much someone could be changed by him.

He put his arm around me after the door was completely closed. "I think that went well, da?"

* * *

**Do you guys hate Russia as much as I do? Cause this fic is making me freaking hate him..**

**Russia: KOLKOLKOLKOLKOL! -takes out pipe-**

**Me: -snatches it away- NO RUSSIA! YOU DO THAT OUTSIDE! -waves it threateningly-**

**Russia: -sulks off- Not fair, Hetalian..**

**Me: LIFE'S NOT FAIR, RUSSIA! -LOOKS BACK AT SCREEN-**

**Back to business. **

**I will be updating on Wednesday~**

**AND. I don't know whether or not anyone would participate, but I love both PruCan and RusPru. It is up to you guys, the readers, to decide which one they want. I personally, am fine with either. (AS is my mindset on FrUk vs. USUK...) If there's a pairing I haven't included that you want, please tell me in a review. In fact, just review anyway! It would make me so happy~**

**MY COMPUTER HATES ME. I THOUGHT I SUBMITTED THIS HOURS AGO... AND IT WOULDN'T LET ME ANSWER YOUR REVIEWS... THENKS TO ALL WHO COMMENTED~**

**Please stay awesome!**

**(' 7 ')/**

**Review? **


	16. The realization, and comfirmation

**WEll now, I think this site hates me.. I update, AND IT SAID I DIDN'T AND I HAVE TO DO IT AGAIN!  
ASKEGFWLERJHACFLUEVUL!**

**I'm sorry**, **Luzzekatt! I know And I thought I did...**

**Please enjoy!  
Again, I don't own Hetalia! If I did, there would be a lot more hetero genderbendings~**

**I do, in fact, own these genderbendings. Because I created them. Please be kind, do not steal, and ask me if you want to use the names like Hani-tan did.**

* * *

Russia sat me in a room about an hour ago, and I sat, obedient. I was just tired of all the crap.. I mean, after the meeting, he had me locked in the basement for a month.. A MONTH! Fucker... How dare he make me-

Then I heard the front door open, and a French voice wafted through the silence held by the house. I stood, opening the door right as he came to its front.

"_La ma chère Prussia_ ! !" France kissed me on my left and right cheeks. He looked surprised as hell. I almost laughed. But I didn't, because if I did, Russia would-

I started shivering involuntarily. "Prussia? Is something the matter?" She looked up, seeing France look even more worried about me.

I shrugged. "Just some unawesome flashbacks..."

He frowned at me, but put a smile back on when he turned to Russia. "Would you perhaps have any wine?"

Russia shook his head. "Nyet. I only drink real alcohol." He held up a bottle to make his point. "Vodka."

"Could you please go get me some? I do enjoy good wine..." He was putting on his fake-France act.. I could tell...

Russia smiled, nodding. "Da! You are a guest after all.." He was pissed... again, I could tell. But he left, which was the important thing.

France turned to me, eyes filled with either pity or sadness. "Gillian... what has happened to you? Is it because of the meeting? We do apologize..."

I stared at him for a minute. Then I started tearing up, and ran to hug him. He blushed, patting my head, trying to get me to quiet down with a soft, "Shhh... It will all be okay, Gillian..."

I finally stopped crying, and I looked up at him. "Please. It'll never get any better... I've become unawesome..."

"Well my dear, if it is any consolation, you look lovely." He kissed my hand, making me blush this time.

"Well it's not. Why are you here?" I jolted my hand back, and crossed my arms.

He sighed. "I am here as a wolf in sheep's clothing." We sat on our chairs as he started to explain. "I have come to tell you that Germany is trying his hardest to save you.. But he is still paying us back from the war, making it difficult for him. As of now, the standings are America against Russia. In fact, Europe is split into his side and our side." He paused for a moment, observing my reaction. I remained stoic. "Did you know this?"

I let out a laugh that sounded more like a cough. "I do his paperwork, I know his side of the story."

He nodded. "The I don't have much to explain, do I? But that is beside the point. How are you doing?"

Then Russia returned.

Almost instantly, I returned to my emotionless, blank face I'd grown so accustomed to. France's mouth turned into a tight scowl.

"Now, what did you come to talk about, France?" Russia looked at me, so I left him and France alone in the room with my hands folded in front of me, and my tail between my legs.

* * *

(France's pov)

"FUCKING PRAT! I TOLD YOU TO SOD OFF!"

"AHAHAHAHAHA! IGGY SHALL NEVER DEFEAT ME!"

"BUT WE'RE ON THE SAME FUCKING SIDE, GIT! AND DON'T CALL ME IGGY!"

"My friends, must we fight? Are we not trying to defeat Russia here?" I sighed, rubbing my forehead to try and make my headache go away.

America and England both turned to me. America spoke up first. "It's her fault." He immaturely stated, pointing at her.

England blushed, fuming. "IT IS NOT! AND IT'S RUDE TO POINT-"

The table in front of them was suddenly splintered in half. "Shut the fuck up, both of you." They looked up to see Denmark wedge his axe out of the table, and sit back next to Norway. She remained silent, but blushed a little when he leaned on her.

Italy stood, taking all of the attention. "Ve! I'm sure Germany would like to know how Prussia's doing!" Germany started blushing, and looked away.

"I'm just glad everyone else is absent today..." I said, looking for the rest of our group.

"Well get on with it!" England spat impatiently.

"I will.. Is Germany fine with me reporting in front of everybody?" I looked at him sheepishly.

He stared blankly back at me. "Is it that bad?..."

I nodded.

His forehead creased in worry. "Everyone will just ask Italy after I tell her..." He sighed. He did that a lot recently. Since Prussia was taken. "Why not?"

Everyone was worried. Prussia was one of those people who would always act cheerful. Even if it was a bit misplaced into her ego, and she had a temper... Even though she had bad traits, she was a wonderful person to be around. She knew nearly every nation..

" Russia has not treated her correctly. We really should not have expected that he would. Her body is scarred, from what I could tell by her bare arms. But what is worse is that her psyche is scarred. Enough so to make her change her personality completely." I scanned the room, locking eyes with Germany. "Should we get her out of this fiasco, I do not guarantee that she will be the Prussia we all know and revere."

Germany was silent. The entire room was shocked, and no one seemed to want to hear any more, so I did not continue.

"May I be excused?" The room looked at Germany sadly. He was wearing the same mask his sister wore then..

America nodded. "Try to get some rest, big guy.." Germany left soundlessly, almost dragging his feet.

America turned to all of us. "What now?"

I do not know...

* * *

**NATO: U.S., England, France, Canada, Belgium, Denmark, West Germany, Italy, Iceland, Netherlands, Norway, Portugal, Greece, Turkey, Spain, and Luxembourg ****. **

**By now, it was the mid-seventies. America and Russia reached a stalemate as the space-race escalated. The stalemate was caused because America decided to war in Vietnam to get an easier access to Russia. **

**I think... Again: If any of my history is wrong, please correct me.**

**Time will speed up soon~**

**DUDE. You guys are freaking amazing. I just looked, and I got more than ten reviews for the last chapter. MORE THAN TEN. AND I JUST LOOKED AND I HAVE MORE THEN 50 REVIEWS FOR THIS STORY. Do you know how happy that makes me? -tears up- It makes me really happy! So much so, that I will give everyone who reviews this time a Hetalia unit! You can choose from anyone who appeared in this story so far~ (Couple units, yaoi and genderbent, are also available.) **

**Prussia: I told you, they won't take me alive! -runs away-**

**Me: THEY WON'T TAKE YOU, THEY'LL GET A NEW ONE! -holds head- Where did I go wrong..?**

**France: Ah, but you did not! There haven't been any spoilers this time around, eh?**

**Italy: Ve, Now there is! -holds out pasta- PASTA~~~  
Germany: We weren't supposed to come out, Feli! -drags her away-**

**Me: -headdesk- Next update is on Friday..**

**Reviews would put my solders in line, give me initiative for the next chapter, and get you a Hetalia unit(Act now before the offer ends~)! WHAT MORE COULD YOU ASK FOR(?)!~**

**d(' u ')**

**Stay awesome~**


	17. The thickheaded couple confess

"Ludwig! Ve?" I approached the door, holding some pasta! Pasta would make Ludwig happy! It would because it made me happy! And he said when I'm happy, that makes him happy!

Wait... his door was open? Ludwig never left his door open...

"Ludwig? Are you oka-" I stopped short, after seeing his house. It was messy! Ludwig was a neat person, so why would he leave his house messy?

I looked around a bit more, seeing packages of wurst and beer littered densely around the couch. And there was a blonde head too...

Was Ludwig drinking? VE?

I approached him slowly, making sure it was him. "Ludwig?" It was. His blond, usually really neat and slicked back, hair was falling into his face. So he did have bangs! But that's beside the point. He was in his black undershirt, his jacket was lying across the floor. He was curled into his comforter, like a little baby.

"Ludwig," I said, trying my best to sound reassuring. "Ve, Everything will be fine." He turned, and I finally got a good look at his face. I almost gasped at the sight. He looked defeated. Even when he lost the world wars he didn't look like this. His eyes were red and puffy, from what I thought was crying. But his still was shaven, because he didn't like chin hair.

"When?"

I started tearing up. "When will things get better, Feli?" He stood up, looking down at me with hopelessness gracing his features. I couldn't respond. I just started crying, burying my face in my hands. "I-I don't know, Ludwig... I'm not god, I can't tell you these things..."

"She stopped coming to the wall. I thought Russia was the cause of it, and I was right..." He turned away, taking another swig of beer. "I don't know what to believe in anymore, Feli. We've always been together for as far back as I can remember."

Even farther than that, Ludwig!

Even when you were my Holy Roman Empire...

"But if you lose hope, Ludwig, you will have lost everything!" I tried reasoning with him, you have to believe me! I just don't know how to deal with him when he's like this because he's never like this..

He turned, smiling sadly. "I've already lost everything, Feli... my schwester was all I really had..."

I started crying harder, and ran into him with a hug. "But Ludwig, you have me!" I looked up at him, waiting for a reaction for about a minute.

There was none. He only stared.

So I reached up, and kissed him softly on the lips. He tasted like yucky beer... When I pulled down, he was blushing. "And I love you, so how can you be alone, Ludwig? Ve?"

"!" He started blushing crimson. "Wh-... what?" I giggled at his reaction, hugging him tighter. "Please Ludwig, don't lose hope! Hope is all anyone has at the worst of times! Ve!" I looked up at him again, "You must be strong for Gillian! If you both are sad, neither will ever be happy!"

He smiled, and hugged me back. "Thank you, Feli.."

I started blushing, but smiled happily. "Now let's eat some pasta~!"

He looked around the house, seemingly noticing it for the first time. "I'm going to clean up... don't make a mess in the kitchen."

I turned to leave, stopping after I passed the corner. I peeked around, and saw him brush his lips with his fingers, and blush even harder. Then he shook his head a few times, started cleaning up, and I ran to the kitchen to make pasta~~~~!

* * *

**GERITA FTW. **

**I've decided I'm going to put 'some' emphasis on the smaller couplings that'll be in this story, alongside the main one. So here's the first installment of that, I guess! I have the couples all picked out~**

**SCHOOL IS OVER! DEAD AND GONE! I AM OFFICIALLY A SOPHOMORE!~**

**(Now I know why America wanted his freedom!)**

**Oh yeah! I was going to tell you last chapter, but I forgot! See, the chapter before last chapter was written after the last chapter and this chapter. I've written a bit ahead... That scene with Poland was tough... POLAND IS HARD TO WRITE BECAUSE HE'S A BIMBO! **

**Dang, are my Author's notes too long? I worry about that.. **

**Meh~**

**Thanks for all the lovely reviews! It makes me so happy to read them~! I try to reply to all of them~ **

**Prussia: Damn, I wasn't in this chapter at all!**

**Italy: I'm so happy now, Ve~!**

**Germany: -hides in corner- You guys are embarrassing.. **

**Prussia: -pats his head- You have to try your best to stand my awesome, bruder!**

**Italy: Ve! Not nice, Gil! -looks at audience- We're sorry to take up her notes like this, ve. We'll stop.. but please review! She apologizes for how bad the next chapter will be, but it will be out on Sunday! **

**Prussia: -has Germany in a head lock, and is giving her a noogie- If there is enough attention, she'll update for three days straight!**

**Germany: Don't make promises that you can't keep, Gil!**

**Me: ... -dies-**

**( x _x)/**

**Stay awesome, and please pardon my ramblings.. I'll try to update ALL of my stories like mad.. **


	18. The little sister comes out to play

It was nighttime. Russia always forced me to wear these stupid girly nightgowns... fucker.. I was resting my head in my hands when I saw a sudden movement from the corner of my eyes.

"Belarus?"

She shifted, trying to remain invisible.

I sighed. "I've already seen you, you might as well come out.."

She came out of the shadows, scowling, and holding her knife. "What have you done to big brother?..."

My eyes widened. I stood, almost tripping on the girly nightgown I'd grown to hate. "What have I done? Natalia, I think you have something messed up."

She played with her knife in her hand, and tilted her head sideways. "No.. you have big brother in your treacherous grasp..." Then she scowled at me harder. "How do you know my name, East Germany?"

I folded my arms. This little brat was going to get me in big trouble.."It's the other way around. You need a hot, steaming glass of perspective, bitch." I flipped my hair to annoy her. "I know you're name because someone told me, how else?"

"Well East Germany, you are causing a lot of trouble... I wish to end this trouble..." She started approaching me, flipping the knife. "Big brother will be so happy with me..."

But crazy people like her are easy to deal with once you've... been aquatinted with Russia. I held my awesome, replying, "I won't be here much longer, Natalia."

She stopped, puzzled. "What?" Glaring at me, her knife came dangerously close to my face.

I smiled. I had her now.. "I'll be escaping soon, and I'm taking everyone else with me. "

She sheathed her knife. "You will?" I could see something near to trust in her eyes as she looked at me.

She is still a child... "I will. And then you can have Russia all to yourself."

"He looks at you differently then he does anyone else.. his sisters or his other minions.." She smiled after this, making me shudder. "But in the end, big brother and I will be married... married... married..." Waves of malice rippled off of her as she imagined what I could only think of Russia's just desserts.

I laughed inwardly. That fucker was going to get it... I'm still planning to hurt him myself, but she'll do nicely when I leave~ "Run along now, Belarus. I heard Russia calling you~.."

She dashed off, and I was once again left to my thoughts.

* * *

**MEIN GOTT THAT STUNK.**

**I'm sorry, it was so much better in my head.. then I forgot the original scene, and tried re-writing it... AND THEN SOMEONE DELETED IT! *COUGH*mom*COUGHCOUGH***

**Lucky for me she didn't read it first, otherwise she would ban me from the computer.. That's right! Mom doesn't approve of fanfiction. **

**And everyone wanted some Belarus feedback... I stink at writing her too...**

**I'M SORRY. I can write Russia, but not Belarus. I don't know why.. but I hate it when people write Russia badly... I guess I write him well because I relate to him!**

**Prussia: GODAMNIT, She's creepier then her brother! /. _.  
Me: AGREED. O .o **

**Belarus: Nii-san~ WE SHALL BE MARRIED, MARRIED, MARRIED... **

**Russia: -hiding behind box- ..nnrg.. -crying-**

**Me: These guys are getting a bit out of hand.. but they're fun~**

**Please review! I know it stinks, but it makes me want to write so much more when you guys review!**

**( TT JTT)~DA?**

**Stay awesome!**


	19. THE FALL OF THE WALL

**WARNING: I SUCK AT ACTION SCENES.**

**Prussia's laugh is like that one that Light did on the last death note episode. Maniacal/proud/all-knowing. Just insert Light's laugh there when I say she starts laughing, da?**

* * *

Today.

Today is the day.

I stand, smiling maniacally.

The day bruder and I are reunited.

I shift through my drawers, finding the last hidden uniform. I have a few of my Prussian uniforms at bruder's place, but this is the last one I brought with me. Russia destroyed the rest. Bastard. I put it on, ignoring the unawesome dresses he had made for me to be a lady. I looked at myself in the mirror, remembering when I used to have power.

I'd need that power today.

And I'd use that power today.

I could feel it in my bones.

Russia's going to be out for the morning, but until then I need to prepare the Baltic's. I speed walk across the house, reaching Tori in the kitchen.

I slam the door open, startling all of the Baltic's. "Tori, today we're busting out of here." She looks at me funny. Latvia drops her fork, staring at me. Estonia nearly feints.

She ushers me out of the room, whispering. "How can you say something like that so brashly, Gil?" I smirk in response. "I have an awesome feeling today, Tori. I'm not going to waste it for no one. The others are trying their best to get him weak, and now feels right. I'm leaving, and if you guys want to come, pack whatever you want to take home by noon." I walked away, off to find those awesome boots I used to wear..

* * *

I came down about an hour later, proudly looking as I did the day I was taken. My Prussian uniform was spotless. My hair was tied up. My boots were found, and still in awesome condition. I found these two swords on the wall too, they were looped into my belt. I looked fucking awesome. I looked around a bit, and saw the Baltic's standing there, each holding a small suitcase.

I frowned a bit. "That's it?" They looked at me, startled yet again. Lithuania was just surprised to see me so full of life. "We don't have that much, we were never allowed that many things..." Latvia said quietly.

Crack.

"HIDE." I don't particularly yell it, but I say it with militaristic force enough to get them out of this room.

Russia's arrived.

He opened the door, seeing me standing. Waiting for him.

He smiled.

"Ah, Gillian. Why are you not dressed as a lady?" He started approaching me. He didn't see my swords yet.

Good.

"Why the fuck should I be? I'm not a lady. I'm awesome." I pointed at myself, ignoring the fear seeping into me from just being around Russia. That fucking commie. He's branded me with unawesome...

He closed in, and it seemed to him like he cornered me. "You need punishment then, da?"

I pulled out my sword faster than he ever would have been able to. Let's face it: He's a giant, meaning even his trained reflexes can't keep up with mine. I stabbed him through his right lung, hearing a pop.

I smirked. His eyes widened and filled with a mixture of surprise, anger, and fear.

It's begun.

.. the battle frenzy! The bloodlust! The want for the kill... no.. the NEED for the kill! The pain of another! That was what the predator in me was chanting. The prey in me, it told me to stop hurting Russia, to beg and plea for forgiveness. My awesome in me was sitting in a small corner of my mind. And it's not coming out until I see bruder.

The predator pwnd the prey.

I pinned him to the wall, digging the sword deeper and deeper into him until the hilt was touching his jacket, and half of the sword was buried in the wall. He was immobilized. Ivan was taking rapid breaths, and blood began dripping out of his slightly parted lips. He was muttering from what I could understand were curse words.

I started laughing. And not just regular laughter. It was a laughter I only used when I knew I was going to win. I took out the other sword and held it tip against the fabric of his scarf, just so he wouldn't get any funny ideas. I've seen behind his scarf.. it's not that pretty.

And Russia knew he was done for. Angry defeat showed in his purple eyes.

The Baltic's peered out from behind their hiding places. I turned to them, grinned, and then twisted the sword three hundred and sixty degrees, causing Russia to gasp in pain and cough out even more blood. I glared at him. He was pathetic.. "Watch the awesome uniform, jackass!" Then I turned to the Baltic's. "Does anyone have something to say to Russia?"

They stood there for a moment, seemingly in denial. I mean, I didn't even expect to get this far. It just shows how fucking awesome I am!

"You.. you are an evil man. Even if you don't realize it, that's no excuse!' Lithuania spoke, tearing up. "You separated me from Poland! I.. I never wanted that! I hope this hurts you, because all of the times you hurt me will never leave my memories, no matter how hard I try!" She slapped him in the face with a resounding smack. Then she picked up her suitcase, and went outside. Russia stared on in shock.

Next, Latvia approached him. He glared down at her, and she began trembling."Y-you were ne-never n-nice to-o me, Mr. Russia. I hope you...'" she trailed off, not sure of what to say. Then she clenched her fist, and punched Russia in the gut. "Never mess with me again!" She ran off, following Tori with her suitcase. Again, he was shocked. It might not have hurt him physically, but mentally...

Estonia stared at Latvia's retreating figure, blushing. "What they said..." he rushed off, just barely remembering his own suitcase.

I looked up at Russia, who was seething in anger. "Now you're a~ll alone, Ivan. They're lands might be one with yours for now, but those people are staying with me until TRUE independence is gained." I gave the sword another sharp twist. "Got it?"

He nodded, face contorted in pain. Then he opened one purple eye, and looked at me sadly. "But Gillian..." He stopped for a moment, grimacing. "I never did hate you... Da?" He smiled slightly, then feinted to his spot on the wall.

"Wait, stay conscious! What do you mean by that? Russia? Ivan!" I shook him a little, but his face scrunched up in what I suspected was even more pain, and I left him as he was.

I left the house, still holding a sword. I threw it to the ground when I saw the Baltic's waiting for me. A crying Latvia was hugging a blushing Estonia, while a worried Tori was looking at me. Then she smiled, and I ran to her in a hug. "We're free for now!" she patted my head. "Thank you, Gillian. We could never thank you enough. You kept your promise, and got us away from Russia."

I let go, and looked around a bit. I saw three things: A sledgehammer, a car, and the house. I had a strike of instant genius. "Do any of you know how to drive?"

* * *

By one hour later, Estonia and Latvia were exchanging jokes in the backseat, Tori was driving, and I had my head out the window while holding the sledgehammer. We were driving WAY past the speed limit, but no one really gave a damn because the city was empty.

My people... they wanted freedom! I could almost taste freedom now...

I saw the wall after she started driving over a hill. "Stop!" I said excitedly. I could see my people! They were rioting_. "Wir bleiben heir!"_ Was repeated like a mantra. I turned to Tori. "You guys wait here! It'll be safer for you!"

And before any of them could protest, I was running to the crowd, knowing our day had come. I had the sledgehammer hitched over my shoulder, and I saw a few of my people were already chipping away at it. I ran up panting to a man. "Am I too late?" I said, gesturing to the wall. He smiled, and patted me on the back."The real party hasn't even started yet!"

So I took my hammer, and thrust it so hard into the wall, a circle with a diameter of eight feet started to crack. Some clapped, others began chipping away after I did. More and more people began chipping away at it, until there were giant holes. We didn't even realize there were others on the opposite side until random holes were broken into the wall.

It was torn down to a point that people from my side started flowing into West Berlin, and I looked around frantically. "Bruder! West! Ludwig!" I could see people crying, people hugging, people being reunited with family, friends, even mild acquaintances.

People were rushing everywhere, and I was the first one to spot my bruder in the confusion.

I started tearing up. "Br-bruder?" I whispered. He couldn't hear me, but he looked at me, and realization hit his eyes. "Schwester?" I could see him mouth. Yes, awesome can read lips.

I started tearing up, then I ran as fast as I could through the crowd to him.

He just stood there in shock.

I hugged him tightly around the middle. "Ludwig... I missed you!" I buried my face in his chest to cry, and he started shaking. "Gillian.." Then he wrapped his arms around me and buried his face in my hair. I could feel his face was wet. Was my stoic bruder crying? I looked up, and saw that there were streaks down his eyes, and they're usual blue were framed red. I kissed his cheek, "It'll be alright Ludwig. I'm here, don't cry now..." He blushed a little, but started crying even harder. We fell on our knees, happy beyond words to be reunited.

I looked around at all of the other people, happy and united. And we weren't separated anymore. That was the most important thing of all. We were together. One Germany, two representatives.

And we were awesome enough to make it work.

* * *

**It's finally come! The fall of the Berlin wall!**

**I'm so sorry. I suck at action scenes, so I tried my best.. I re-did the freaking chapter about 13 times.. I'm sorry.. (Then again, I'll just try to stick to fluff from now on..) **

**Well, here's the info for this chapter (I tried to make it sound professional~) : **

_At the same time freedom of press and dissent allowed by glasnost and the festering "nationalities question" increasingly led the Union's component republics to declare their autonomy from Moscow, with the baltic states withdrawing from the Union entirely. The 1989 revolutionary wave that swept across Central and Eastern Europe overthrew the Soviet-style communist states, such as Poland, Hungary, Czechoslovakia and Bulgaria, Romania being the only Eastern-bloc country to topple its communist regime violently and execute its head of state._

_Protest demonstrations broke out all over East Germany in September 1989. Initially, they were of people wanting to leave to the West, chanting "Wir wollen raus!" ("We want out!"). Then protestors began to chant "Wir bleiben hier", ("We're staying here!"). This was the start of what East Germans generally call the "Peaceful Revolution" of late 1989. By November 4, the protests had swelled significantly, with half a million people gathered that day at the Alexanderplatz demonstration in East Berlin (Henslin, 07)._

_November 9 is considered the date the Wall fell, but the Wall in its entirety was not torn down immediately. Starting that evening, and in the days and weeks that followed, people came to the wall with sledgehammers or otherwise hammers and chisels to chip off souvenirs, demolishing lengthy parts of it in the process and creating several unofficial border crossings. These people were nicknamed "Mauerspechte" (wall woodpeckers)._

**I'm sorry I haven't updated in a while, but I thought yesterday was Wednesday.. but today's actually Saturday.. **

**Prussia: ENOUGH EXCUSES! -noogies me-**

**Me: AGH! THAT HURTS! I JUST REUNITED YOU WITH YOUR BROTHER! BOTHER HIM!**

**Prussia: OKAY! -does that-**

**Me: Yay~, I feel awesome today~**

**Liet: Why?**

**Me: Because it's summer, I've written a bit ahead, and I have ideas for HMPMLM~**

**Liet: Wonderful! -claps-**

**ME: Please review! It would just make my day~! And y'know what? Lets try to make it to 100 reviews this chapter! If you guys can do that for me, I'll update twice in one day next time!**

**Germany: GYAAAA! SCHWESTER, WHY?**

**Me: Hee hee.. review~**

**(/ ^ 7^)/**


	20. Home, or is it?

Until then, I wanted to set everything straight and find the Baltic's somewhere to live. They would feel awkward if they just stayed at West's place the whole time~

After the main reunion, they came down to greet West. "This is my bruder, Germany." He held out his hand. "And bruder, this is Lithuania," he shook her hand, "Latvia," he shook her hand too, "and Estonia!" he shook his hand.

Then he blushed slightly, and turned back to me. His eyes were still red from crying. "Schwester, where will they be staying? I don't think they have their own houses..."

I patted his head, smiling. "They'll be staying with us, West! Where else? You don't think I didn't think this through, did you?"

"..." He gave me a look that clearly said he thought just that.

"Anyway, awesome is free for now! Come on!" I started off towards the car, and they followed. I could hear West sigh already.

It's damn good to be home!

* * *

By that night though, I realized I couldn't live in my house at all. I mean, literally. It was burnt to cinders.

"Wow. They really did a number on my awesome abode, right bruder?" I smiled a little bit sadly.

He sighed. "You'll really have to live with me now.." I think he was secretly hoping my house was still standing so he didn't have to keep me. I was kinda hoping that as well. But it's just nice to have a place to go back too!

* * *

(At west's house)

It was time for everyone to go to bed. Luddy here liked going to bed BEFORE ten...

...wimp..

All of the Baltic's and I each got our own rooms. But my room was dark... and scary.. I grabbed a pillow and high-tailed it out of there.

So at about eleven, I arrived at my bruder's room. His house has too many fucking rooms. I don't know how he keeps this place clean by himself. But as I did get there, I opened the door, wincing as it creaked."Ludwig?"

He sat up, and groggily stated, "Wha? Gillian? Nr.. what brings you here at this hour?" His hair wasn't pulled back like it usually was, his banks were instead showing. His black tank top was sliding off his shoulders, and his eyes were only half conscious.

I giggled inwardly. Only she got to see him at times like this. When he was tired, defenseless. That was because she was so awesome, she was only one he put his trust in. I walked over, in shorts and a black tank top to match his. He blushed slightly. He may not seem like it sometimes, but West was just as much of a gentleman as England was a lady.

"I'm kinda scared to sleep in my own bed... can I stay in yours?" I hugged the pillow I brought with me.

He got up, "I guess.."

I held onto his shoulder before he could go further. "Where are you going?"

He blinked a bit, now wide awake. "I was going to sleep on the couch. Why?"

"No, no bruder. What would be the point of me coming in here if you weren't in here?" I waved a finger in his face.

He closed his eyes and sighed. "So you want to pull an Italy on me..." Then he sat back down on his bed, making room for me.

I laid down, readjusted my pillow, hugged Ludwig, and began teasing him."What have we here? Italy was sleeping with you? And I thought you were so proper, bruder!"

He blushed, looking away.

"So.. are you two official yet?~"

I could see, even in the dark, he was as red as one of Antonio's tomatoes.

"You sly dog!" I patted his back. " That's awesome!"

He stared at me for what felt like a good ten minutes. _Was_? "I'm glad you're back, Gil... It was much less-... how would you put it.."

I grinned. "Awesome?"

"Yes, that... -Without you here." I hugged him.

"I missed you too, Luddy..." He leaned on me after that,. "It's just like when you were small, bruder.."

_A little Ludwig was standing in my mind's eye. He was way shorter than he is now, wearing a traditional outfit. He looked up, blue eyes watery. "You won't leave, will you?"_

_I laughed, and ruffled his hair. He straightened it out as I spoke."The awesome me has to steal Austria's vital regions! I'll be back in no time, West! "_

_He grabbed onto my awesome coat. "You'll be safe, won't you?"_

_"I'm not gone yet, am I?" I smirked, and pointed to myself with my thumb to indicate how awesome I was._

_"No you're still here. But you'll leave eventually, won't you? Just like the great Germania..." He looked down._

_"Hmm... how to prove to you that I'll come back..." I snapped my fingers, and dug into my pockets. "Here! Have this!"_

_I dropped the small item into his hand, and he held it up by its chain. "What could this be, East?" He stared at it in wonderment. _

_I smiled warmly. "Well, West. That is what old man Fritz gave me to signify that I would become a strong nation. Are you going to become a strong nation?" _

_He nodded enthusiastically. "For you, East! I'll become a strong nation for you!" I ruffled his hair again, and he tried straightening it out, blushing lightly-_

"Wait." West sat up, looking at me funny again. I reached for my neck slowly. It was under no circumstance whatsoever that either of us didn't have it. "Fuck."

I took my brother's shoulders, and whisper yelled to him, "THAT RUSSIAN BASTARD HAS MY KNIGHTS CROSS OF THE IRON CROSS! "

He was wide awake again. "But.. how? When? Why?"

"He took it a little after I got there, because he did have control over me the-" I shook, not speaking.

West's blue eyes and face were filled with concern. "Gil?.."

I looked back at him, with tears pooling up in my own crimson eyes. "That bastard stole it to make sure I would lose hope and be.. completely under his control..." I hugged him around his middle, and he hugged me back as I shook, memories flooding back. No, they weren't good memories...

It was decided. While our lands still remained under Russia for now, they would be ours again soon.

When that day came, I would get my cross back.

* * *

**Sorry about the lame chapter, I just wanted to establish a few things..**

**This is after she was freed, so there'll be a two year time-skip in which her and the other nations are truly freed.**

**I always imagine that Germany and Prussia have a sibling complex for each other. (And that's why Prussia cuts down the tough act around him.) Maybe that's just me.. **

**I should have said this before. I'm not sure if I have said it before though, and if you want, just skip the next two paragraphs.. **

**When the Baltic's and Prussia were in Russia's house, they were speaking Russian, although I wrote it in English. The same rule applied for when I write anyone in their place. At China's, you speak Chinese. At England's, you speak English. Since the German's are at home, they speak German when around each other. **

**Also, they speak with their respective accents when they're using their or another language. Because I always imagine the characters using the Japanese voices, except speaking English, and with accents. This sounds a lot better in my head, but I felt like rambling.**

**Anyway, do you guys want to see her get her cross back the next chapter? I wrote something, and believe me, it sucks...**

**( TT _TT)**

**Oh lord, kill me now. (Self-confidence = -36%)**

**Anyway, if you liked the story, please review. If not, then okay. I love those of you that review, though! It means I touched you enough to actually make you want to say something.**

**Stay awesome!**


	21. MY CROSS, GODDAMNIT!

**DUDE. I HAVE OVER 20 CHAPTERS AND OVER 100 REVIEWS. I LOVE YOU GUYS~**

**I won't be able to update EOLS or this after today for a week, though, because mom grounded me. **

**Enjoy!**

**I don't own Hetalia. If I did, there would be a lot more hetero genderbendings.**

* * *

(Prussia's pov)

"Hey bruder, are you sure this doesn't look weird on me?" I looked at myself in the mirror. I was wearing a woman's version of Germany's uniform. Ludwig had it especially tailored for the awesome me~! Because even though he can be a stick in the mud, he's a pretty awesome little bruder sometimes!

I walked over to him, and he blushed. "No, it looks.. um..."

"YOU LOOK SO PRETTY, GIL!" I was glomped from behind by Felicia. I didn't fall though, because during the second world war, I learned how to- you know what? It's complicated. Let's just say Me, Germany, and Japan all know how to survive her hugs.

"Thanks, Feli!" I hugged her back, and Germany looked a bit sad. So I whispered into Feli's ear, "Hey, how about we make him participate in a group hug?" She nodded excitedly. "The keyword is Pasta, Feli!"

She smiled, and ran off.

I stood in front of him. He still blushed while he looked at me. "So um.. how do you feel about what you're doing later today, Gil?"

"..." I looked down at my shoes. "It means we'll be together, one Germany, two representations..."

He patted my head comfortingly, and looked away. "You'll do fine, schwester." He gave me a small smile. "After all, we are German made."

"And do you know what else?" I said as I still stared at my shoes.

"What?"

"PASTA!" I exclaimed, hugging him from the left. Then Feli came out of nowhere and hugged his right side, and shouted "PASTA~~! VE!"

The other patrons gave us odd looks and ignored us. But I didn't really care, because this is happiness. A blushing bruder, a happy soon-to-be-well-eventually-definitely-someday sister, and a family that isn't broken any more.

* * *

(~~~)

I sat in my place in the room, right next to my bruder. Where I belonged. I looked across the table. There were Lithuania and Poland, with Poland causing most of the conversation, and Lithuania nodding happily. I wonder about them... But that's for later. Estonia was showing Latvia how his computer worked, and she seemed interested enough. Another possible couple? Hungary was talking to Ukraine and Belarus, who both looked very sad. Most likely trying to cheer them up... I wouldn't get a chance to talk to her today, though.

But Russia was sitting in his corner, with an almost defeated look on his face. He scanned those who were once under his command with almost a fond sadness. It almost made me a little sad for him..

PFFFT. I DIDN'T MEAN THAT. I'M HAPPY THAT HE'S SAD~!

HE CAN ROT IN THAT COLD HELL OF HIS.

The bosses were just getting all of the paperwork done, and every nation signed it in turn. Russia was the final one to sign it."I have signed it." No shit, Sherlock. He looked over from us to our boss. "Can I please go now, da?"

He shook his head. "No, they would like to have a word with you. In private." All of the bosses stared blankly at the German boss. "As nations." They filed out. He smiled at us, and then went out as well.

I looked at him, and he looked back at me. Crimson and purple seemed to be in an everlasting battle until Ludwig 'ahemed', and I woke up from the trance.

Russia decided to speak up after this. "I will not apologize for anything I may have done when you were in my house, da?.." He scanned those who were, looking at each individual person in the eyes. "Because I had every right to do whatever I so wanted." His eyes rested on me once again. "I will leave you with the fact that my house is now empty, and I blame you, East and West Germany. " I scoffed, and Germany looked taken aback. "Da. Please know as I do, that in the near future, all will become one with Russia."

I started laughing. And I saw him focus straight on me again through the corner of my eyes. "Is something wrong, Gillian?"

I cringed at my name, but stared at him square in the eye. "Yeah. I'm sick and fucking tired of you. You lost! Deal with it!" I gestured to the other household members. "They're free, I'm free! We can live however the hell we want!" Then I grinned, crossed my arms, and stared back at him.

It was his move, now.

He started radiating bad waves. But he wouldn't do anything, not with as much power we now held. "I am glad you think that, East Germany, because I do not really care, da."

I examined at my fingers. "Ja? If you didn't think that, you wouldn't respond, would you? "

His brows furrowed, but he didn't say anything.

I smirked. "Furthermore, you have something I want."

The entire room was surprised by this. Including Russia, who made the cutest face-

NO HE DIDN'T! IT WAS UGLY LIKE HE IS! I DIDN'T JUST THINK THAT.

"I want my cross."

Bruder stared at me.

He would call this arrogance.

"Now."

But I call it awesome.

Russia stared for a while longer. Then he started chuckling. "Da, East Germany, you have the oddest choice of jewelry." He reached into his pocket, and pulled out my cross. It was in good condition, shiny and black. I gazed at it longingly. "I thought I may keep it as a token of all the fun times we had..."

Wait.

WHAT?

The other rooms recipients said nothing, seeing as this battle didn't involve them. Hungary took out a recorder, pointing it at a range that had a full view of the room.

I wasn't going to take that! I'M FUCKING AWESOME!

So before I knew it, I lunged over the table, almost reaching Russia. That bastard.. he was smiling at me.. expecting this reaction! He was going to deserve this! It was going to feel awesome.. I was nearly there, too! But then I was struggling in Germany's grasp, and he was barely holding me back. "YOU ARROGENT LITTLE FUCKER! HOW DARE YOU! HOW DARE YOU THINK, LET ALONE SAY, SOMETHING LIKE THAT! I'LL FUCK YOU UP!" I started struggling harder. "GERMANY, LET GO!"

"PRUSSIA! CALM DOWN!" I stopped, out of energy. Then I looked up at my bruder. He only called me by my nation name if he meant business. His face was red with rage, and he was string at Russia. "Give her the god-damned cross."

Whoa! Was Luddy cussing? My little bruder's changed! I'm not quite sure if it was awesome, though.. Well I don't mind, because that was the original cross Fritz gave me! Nothing could replace it.. because I gave both my extras away..

Russia giggled. "So East is too weak to even defend herself?" He held the cross in front of him, spinning it, taunting me again... but I didn't step forward, because this time, I had to hold Luddy back. "_Nie sagte ich Sie würde geben nicht die verdammt Kreuzrückseite! Ich hielt sie zurück, damit ich Sie herauf mich bumsen konnte!" (_Never did I say you would not give the cross back! I held her back so that I could fuck you up myself!)He yelled at Russia, who didn't comprehend the insult, while clenching his fists. "_FÜR MEINE SCHWESTER!" (_for my sister!)

I wonder if it looked like we were having some kinda internal battle..

I was nearly as strong as him, and a lot faster. Russia better be lucky, because I caught his fist before it hit Russia in his giant Russian nose. He backed up in his chair as far as it would go, dropping the cross on the table in the progress.

That fucking wimp.

My brother crouched on the table, holding his stomach. Stress wasn't good for him.. I sat next to him, rubbing circles on his back to sooth him. He opened one eye and smiled at me, still grimacing. Then he picked up my cross, and put it in my upturned palm. I teared up a little, and hugged him.

Germany is only good as a whole, united. As long as we're on the same wavelength, me and bruder will do fine!

Russia clapped, breaking us out of our trance. "_Если то, то как вы поистине чувствуете, Gillian самый дорогой.__"_ (If that is how you truly feel, Gillian dearest.) He stood, bowed to me, flashed one more smile across the room, and left.

I turned my full attention back to my bruder, whispering to him comfortingly in German. "_Bruder, sind Sie okay? Sie sind fein… Welche Schmerz Sie?_" (Brother, are you ok? You will be fine... What pains you?)

He told me why softly, in German. "_Gut war es Feli. sie ließ mich zu viele Teigwaren essen…"_ (Well, it was Feli.. she made me eat too much pasta...) He smiled a little.

I started laughing and fell over, straight on the table. Luddy started laughing huskily to himself as well.

Lithuania put a hand on my shoulder, and I found I was right in front of her. "A-are you two all right?" She looked really concerned, and I saw the rest of the room did too. Except Hungary, who knew what we were saying.

So I sat up, put the cross around my neck, and gave the nations a good look-see.

God, I was doing that a lot, wasn't I?

"I've never felt better."

And I hadn't.

I was officially free from Russia!

AWESOME!

* * *

**I would like you all to know that I was high on sugar when I wrote this chapter. Also, Nihonloid is right! Salt on watermelon makes it sweeter! **

**www . youtube . com / user / eurovision? blend = 1&ob = 4#p / u / 394 / te1w81E8L5A**

**I was listening to this during the entire chapter! IT'S FREAKING AWEOSME. Netherlands, I must write you someday!**

**By 1989, the Soviet alliance system was on the brink of collapse, and, deprived of Soviet military support, the Communist leaders of the Warsaw pact states were losing power. In the USSR itself, **_**glasnost**_** weakened the bonds that held the Soviet Union together and by February 1990, with the dissolution of the USSR looming, the Communist party was forced to surrender its 73-year-old monopoly on state power.**

**I couldn't finad an eaisier was to explain it..**

**Russia, I kinda feel a bit bad for you.. I've been watching all of these sad MADs about him, and I almost cried after a few.. -hugs Russia- I'm sorry! I'll try to make you a good guy! -tears up-**

**Russia: -pats my head- Da? And will I get the girl?**

**Me: Well, of-**

**China: -hits me with wok- AIYAH! STOP SAYING SPOILERS! I HAD TO COME ALL THE WAS OVER FROM EOLS FOR THIS? -storms off-**

**( x -x)**

**Me: Review please... -dies-**


	22. Drunken German converstional freakouts

**I don't own hetalia. If I did, there would be alot more hetero genderbendings.**

**FORGIVE MY MEGA-ABSENCE, AND THIS LAME FILLER. **

**THE NEXT CHAPTER WILL BE WAYYYYY BETTER, I SWEAR!  
**

**Read on. . _.  
**

* * *

"Oi, West!" I slouched on the bar, staring into my glass.

He looked over at me. "_Was_?" Then he ordered another round, thinking I needed it.

I sat up, looking into his eyes. "You know how my eyes are red, and yours are blue, right?"

He nodded. We were both drunk off our rockers. He was currently chugging his beer down.

I gulped out of my own mug."Well if we had a kid, do you think that they're eyes would be purple?"

He spit all of his beer out, and started coughing. "ARE YOU CRAZY?" He looked at me like I was, and I held up my hands defensively.

"No need to get your panties in a bunch, West! I'm just saying, do you think that would happen? Red plus blue equals purple.." I looked into my glass, peeking back at my blushing bruder.

He looked around, to see many, many people staring at us. He headdesked. "Probably.." He replied, quieter then last time.

"I see.. now what kind of purple do you think it would be?" He looked confused. "You know, like France-purple?"

Germany closed his eyes, thinking. "His eyes are more of a blue color, I think..."

"Finland-purple? Maybe Canada-purple-"

He looked even more confused. "Who?"

I shook my head. "Come on! It's so unawesome that people keep forgetting her!" I slammed my mug on the table. "CA-NA-DA. Madeline Williams. The second-freaking-largest country in the world! And a girl who knows her pancakes, if I do say so myself."

He sighed. "More beer please..." he said towards the barman.

"Top the awesome me off too!" I held out my own glass. "And make it snappy!"

It was snappy, and arrived in a few moments. "Who else has purple eyes?..." I chugged the rest of my beer down, pondering.

It looked like Germany was deep thought for a moment. "How about... Russia?"

I dropped my glass. It made a resounding crash that made a few of the patrons jump, but none looker over. They were used to us by now, and turned away."Schwester, are you ok?"

I didn't answer, staring at the remains of my beer as it dripped on the floor.

"Gil?" He sounded far more worried this time.

I looked at my hands, and realized I was shaking. "Y-yeah! I'm awesome, so how could he-" I stopped mid-sentence, and stared into space a minute or so before continuing, "Mess.. with.. me..." I stood, dropped thirty Pfennig on the bar, and walked away swiftly.

After I was outside, I saw how dark it was and waited for Germany to come out. It didn't take long. He ran out almost immediately.

"Gillian, what... what was that?" His blue eyes looked like they would bore into me. He tried to hug me. "Gillian, please what-"

"N-n-no!" The flashbacks were coming to me in rapid ribbons, and tears started streaming down my face. I was pushing him away, and backing up."I didn't do anything, go away!" I wasn't yelling, my voice was more like a loud whisper.

He looked like he was frozen in shock, but he managed to bind my arms to my side. But the prey in me was all to familiar with this feeling, and submitted to it. So the predator in me took over. I lashed out, slipping out of my bruder's grasp and knocking him to the ground somehow. He looked at me, and I crouched as if feral. "Gil, calm down."

"..." I froze. The awesome in me told me I should listen to bruder... he's my bruder! But the predator in me was suddenly overpowered by the prey in me, and I took off running like Italy. Very, very quickly.

I didn't realize he was following me until we reached his house. I slammed the door open, and saw Lithuania cleaning dishes in the kitchen. She turned, seeing me panicked and panting from exhaustion.

She started panicking a little. "Gil? Is something wrong?"

I started at her. Then I ran up to hug her, and buried my face in her chest. Hey, it might seem awkward to anyone else, but if you've lived in that hellhole, Tori would seem like one hell of an awesome mutti.

"Schwester?" I turned a little, seeing Ludwig. "Lithuania, is she okay?"

I flinched back, burying deeper into Tori. She hugged me, and looked at Ludwig sadly. "It seems like she's having flashbacks... I'm sorry about this."

He continued watching me, I could feel it, and shook a bit harder under his gaze.

Tori noticed this. "Mr. Germany, I'm sorry, but could you just leave? She isn't too comfortable around men right now..." Maybe Estonia, but that one was one of the most girlish men I'd ever met, besides Poland.

He looked like someone slapped him. But he left slowly, without a backward glance.

She made me tilt my face up, and I made unawesome sniffle noises. "What's wrong, Gillian?"

"Tori, I don't know. But at random times these, these things.. just keep popping up. It's depressing.." She gave me a look that said she understood it completely. "And I don't want West to think I hate him... I mean, how unawesome is that?"

Lithuania sighed, and pet my head to comfort me. I'd have to say it worked. "Listen. You just need to do what I do and think of happy times when a moment like that comes along." She stared into the distance. "Like my days with Fel-.. Poland."

I watched her happily reminisce for a while, and I formulated an awesome plan! I stood. "Later tomorrow, I'm taking you to visit someone!"

"Who?" She tilted her head, still sitting on the floor.

"Nuh-uh! If I tell you, it won't be as awesome!" I ran off, to prepare for the execution of plan P!

* * *

**Pfennig were a type of money used by the Germans before they converted to the euro in 2002. They've used it since the 9th century.. If you want to compare it's values, ****1 Mark = 100 Pfennigs. 100 Pfennigs = 3$ (dollars).**** I know this because I lived in Germany when I was little. It makes me happy!**

₰ **= Pfennig mark**

**Again, to any of my German readers, if I'm wrong, correct me. (And I'm sorry!)**

**And yes, Canada is a girl. This is so that no one gets any funny ideas. Who do you want to put her with, that's available? I have a few candidates..**

**Do you know how much I love my super awesome, caring, understanding, forgiving, beautiful, dedicated fans? A lot. Because they'll understand that I didn't take this month-long hiatus by choice. They'll understand that the hiatus was caused by my computer's motherboard melting because the fan in the tower broke. And they'll think how lucky it was I saved all of my FF ideas/crap onto my flashdrive, because my computer had to be completely reset. ALL DATA GONE. So danke to my awesome fans, and accept my apology!**

**I've written this seiries so far ahead, I'd have to quit if I lost the info..**

**ANYWHOO.**

**I love all of you who actually read this, I just want you to know. You're all-**

**Gillian: AWESOME! **

**Er, yes. And you deserve heaping helpings of-**

**Italia: PASTAAAAAAAAAAAA~**

**... ok.**

**Germany: -facepalm-**

**Yeah. **

**Stay awesome!**

**(/ ^ .^)/  
**


	23. Gillian awesomely helps a friend

**I don't own Hetalia any more then I own a WW2 bomber jacket.**

**NO WAIT.**

**I OWN A WW2 BOMBER JACKET! THE REAL DEAL! (It's so awesome, and comfy, I see why America wears it all the time!) xD**

**Let's just say I don't own Hetalia, and if I did, there would be a lot more hetero genderbendings.  
**

* * *

"Really though, where are we going?" She looked out the windows. Cattle and green pastures lined next to the road, along with farmlands, and fields of wheat. "And you told me to bring my stuff... why?"

Our windows were open, an our hair up to keep it out of our faces. Her face was apprehensive. "I told you it'd be unawesome to tell you! That's why I'm driving!" I laughed, knowing she was going to be happy soon because.." WE'RE HERE!"

I stopped the car abruptly, and she lurched into her seatbelt. "I'm driving next time, Gil... you speed.. and just.. drive badly.." She got out of the car shakily.

I kicked it. "Well, I'm used to riding horses. I hate cars, personally. Except the awesome German kind. Me and bruder have a good thing going there." I grabbed onto her arm, and held her luggage while dragging her towards the door. I stopped n front of it, and allowed her to compose herself. "ARE YOU HOME?" I yelled at the door.

"Wait, who are we visiting, Gil?" She took her stuff back as we waited, shifting uncomfortably.

I smiled slyly at her. "Just wait." Then I turned back to the door. "HEY, ARE YOU THERE?"

We heard a response from in the house. "Like, its open! Gosh..."

Tori immediately flushed red, at stared at me with a silent scream forming on her lips.

I laughed hard. "Y-you need to see your face, Tori! It's fucking priceless!"

"You took me to Poland's? Why?" She started whisper yelling at me, still blushing.

I grabbed her cheek, pinching it like an old lady would. "Because you want to see him, don't you?"

She blushed harder, and I took that as a silent yes. So I grabbed her arm, and opened the door. Dragging her through the halls, we reached a room where we heard a voice coming from. "Damn bulb.."

We peeked in, only to see a blonde wearing jean short shorts and a long pink sweater, standing on a table. Not even moving, holding a light bulb. They looked down."Heeey, could you guys spin the table for me? I'd be uber grateful!"

I looked at her, but I saw her eyes were closed and she was rubbing her head like she had a headache. But she looked happy... We went to opposite sides of the table, and started spinning it until the Pole standing on top fell over on top of Tori. She was too exhausted to get them off.

He looped his arms around her neck. "TORI! It's like, so cool to see you! Gil told me you were coming, so I thought I would do something totally sweet and change the light bulbs without you!"

Lithuania blushed, hugging Poland back. "Um.. thank you?"

"Like, no prob." I danced on the balls of my feet, watching Poland nuzzle against Tori. I grinned.

I practically died laughing in my head when he groped her. "Have you gotten bigger, too? That's like, totally not fair."

She blushed, and pushed him off. "N-no!" It seems like she had Russia moments too... because she was staring at him unseeingly with fear in her eyes, and was overtaken by a cold sweat. She stayed like this for a minute, shaking with her head held in between her hands before she came back to the real world. "Eh?" She looked around.

Poland didn't waste any time taking advantage of the situation. "You were about to get us some, like, totally refreshing refreshments!" He clapped. "Chop chop!"

I sweatdropped. She ran to the kitchen, muttering apologies. "I'm sorry, I'll be back in a minute."

Poland turned to me. "This isn't the very first time she's done that, like, is it?" For a ditz, he looked pretty serious when it came to Tori... but only when she wasn't in hearing range.

"No. We've all been going through that. It's actually pretty unawesome..." Waking up in a cold sweat from nightmares, or even worse, screaming. Having bad memories flash before your very eyes and blanking out... that happened more often to me than any of the Baltic's by far, but Tori was next in line, then Ravina, then Eduard... poor kids...

Poland only watched me as I began shuddering from another flash.

"Are you alright, Gil?" I turned, seeing Tori holding a tray with three glasses of lemonade. She looked worried as fuck.

I shakily took one, but I didn't want to drink it... "I'm perfectly fine! I'm awesome, aren't I?"

Poland was looking at me funny, his green eyes boring into me. No.. he was being serious? Twice in one day? That must be pretty hard for this little pretty boy. He muttered under his breath, staring at my chest. "You're bigger than me too.."

The fuck? I mean, I was only a little smaller then Ukraine, and she was huge. And guys don't have assets. What does this guy want?

But the moment passed again, and he seemed jovial at her return. "Like, are you staying over today Tori?" He pulled her down to sit next to him on the couch, ignoring her protests. He started hugging her arm.

She blushed a little, and held the tray to her face. "Uhh.. well you see.. I-"

I decided that my awesome was needed right her, so I intervened. "She'll be staying over, she has stuff" I gestured to the stuff, "enough to stay a few days."

Poland lit up, and snaked his arms around her middle. "YAY! We can have a totally sweet sleepover like we used to have! And there'll be food. And you'll make it."

She blushed harder, and gave me a look that said, 'HELP ME!'. I was tempted. But then Poland gave me a look that clearly stated, 'Oh no you don't, stay like, right there and watch.'

Since when did Poland even act like this?

Was it Tori's influence?

A microwave beeped off. Tori looked that was, and squirmed out of Poland's hug. "The food.. I have to.. uh.." And she left me alone with Poland again.

I gave him a sly smile. "Want me to leave you two here alone? Without the car, she wouldn't be able to leave.."

He smiled back, just as sly. "That would be ever so totally sweet of you, Gil." He looked towards the kitchen, and I saw a fond look in his eyes.

"Well, tell her I said bye, lover boy." I stood, silently walking to the car. I felt good that I brought them together. I just hoped that those boneheads would realize that they both love each other, or this wouldn't be successful.

* * *

(Liet's pov)

I was in the kitchen, hand pressed to my chest. I was muttering to myself quietly, trying to calm my beating heart."What did you bring me here for, Gil?" I pondered as I prepared the snacks I made from what Poland had in his refrigerator. It wasn't much, but simple sandwiches were better than nothing.

I bumped the door open with my hip, smiling widely as I entered. "I brought snacks! Would you both like some?"

"Like, food made by Tori? How long has it been~?" Feliks grabbed the plate out of my hand, plopping back on the couch. I looked over to ask Gil if she wanted any, but she wasn't there.

I turned back to him. "Feliks, where's Gil?"

Poland batted his long eyelashes, trying to look innocent. "Like, whatever do you mean, Tori? Gil is gone?" The Pole looked around. "I guess she is. Meaning it's just like, you and me, Tori." He started on another sandwich.

I walked quickly to the front door. Opening it, I saw a trail of dust flying off the road as she drove off. "I should have known she would pull a stunt like this..." She sighed.

"TOOORRII! Let's paint each other's nails!" He ran in, holding some nail polish and a painting board.

This was going to be humiliating, wasn't it?...

I sat down, sighing. He took his time painting my nails, and I didn't pay that much attention. "...Yeah, so I was like, that's my Paluszki! And you're totally not gonna eat it, even if you are my boss! And guess what he said?"

I managed a little smile. "What did he say, Feliks?"

He waved his arms frantically in the air. "He said he never said he wanted any, he just wanted me to sign some papers! Isn't he, like, weird?"

I sweatdropped. "I guess he is..." I decided to change the subject. "Would you like me to paint your nails?"

He looked up from fiddling with his hands. "Oh, what? I mean, I literally JUST painted my nails." He showed me his pink nails.

I was a bit miffed. "What? Then why did you say 'paint each other's nails' if you were going to paint your own?" I was confused! I mean, I really did like spending time with him..

"Well, I like, wanted to spend some like, quality time with you." He smiled at me a bit sadly. "Is that totally selfish, or what?" He looked away, the remaining light pink blush still complementing his face.

Him... him too?

I shook my head no, closing my eyes and blushing. "N-no, because I like spending time with you, Feliks..." I opened one eye, and saw that Feliks was blushing pink. It definitely contrasted with his usual pale outlook, and his blonde hair.

Wait.

I stopped myself. What the hell was I doing? I was leaning in close to his face. Did my thoughts really get me this carried away? What if he doesn't like me like that?...

He had his eyes tightly closed, and was blushing redder then before.

I pulled back abruptly. "Uhm! It's getting really dark..."

We both looked out the window to see pitch-black night.

He put his hand over his mouth. "OH EM GEE! NO MOON?" The he looked back at me, looking a little frightened. "Tori, I don't wanna sleep alone if it's dark! Lets share my bed!"

"Thank you!" I said, happy that I wouldn't have to sleep on the Pole's uncomfortable couch or floor.

* * *

I didn't expect he would sleep on the bed with me.. He was only wearing one of his bigger blue shirts and some shorts (by my request), while I was wearing a green nightgown. It was dark without the moon, but my eyes can adjust.

He nuzzled close to me under the covers. "This is totally like when we were tiny, Tori! Remember?"

I remembered. Every night, we would share a bed, and he would go to sleep while hugging me. I usually waited a good ten minutes after I knew he was asleep, and then I would kiss him on the forehead. I did this because even back then, I think I liked him... a lot. As much as I do now...

And after a while, I thought he was sleeping. So I leaned in, and kissed his forehead. "Sweet dreams, Feliks.." So then I relaxed, and hugged him a little tighter.

"You don't like, change very much, do you?"

I stared down in a mixture of horror and surprise at Feliks' green eyes, and his sly smile. I pulled his arms from around me, and scooched away. "W-what do you mean, Fe-"

He sat up. "You know what I mean, Tori~" And he crawled closer to me as I tried scooching away again. "Remember when we were little, Tori?"

I shook my head yes. Don't tell me he knew!

With every question he came a little closer. "Remember how we always shared a bed to keep warm? Hmm? And would you like, remember how every night, you would give me a kiss on my forehead with your totally soft lips?"

Lord, kill me now.

"I remember, Tori!" He hugged me tightly. "And I missed it after Russia, like, abducted you from me.." I blushed. His head.. it was on my chest! He should know that's embarrassing!..

But... he didn't seem too perturbed when I left...

_Russia was dancing from foot to foot. "YAAAAAAAAAY~! I WON~! Russia is so mighty!"_

_I lay, defeated, on the ground next to Poland. I looked up a little, and accidentally coughed a few times. This made Russia look over._

_"Ne." He crouched down next to me. "You look like a smart one, so you'll work at my house."_

_I was confused. "Eh?"_

_He was smiling happily. "You already lost, so you have no choice in the matter, da?" Russia grabbed my arm, and started dragging me off._

_I tried to resist, but he was too strong! "I don't want to do this!" I looked over my shoulder, after hearing Poland grunt. _

_Russia only laughed. "KoLkOlKoLkOl..."_

_"POLAND!" I reached back, hoping he would help. "Please, wake up!" _

_I looked at Poland's face as he lifted it out of the snow. He looked defeated..._

_"POOOLLLANNDDD! WAKE UP!" I tried again, and I started tearing up._

_Then he started kicking his legs back and forth as he lay on the ground. "Ha ha! Oh god, that face you're making is totally hilarious!"_

I looked back at him, and saw he was crying. "I was so totally weak.. too weak to protect you.." He hugged me tighter. "Please like, find it in your totally adorable and super-big heart to forgive me, Tori!"

I blushed, but tears were falling down my face too. "I.. I forgive you, Feliks.. I could never hold a grudge against you.." We hugged until the sobs stopped wracking his body.

"Tori, you're a like, freaking awesome girl. Wanna be mine?" He looked at me, with a scared kind of happiness shining in his eyes.

How could I say no?

"Of course, Feliks."

Then he kissed me softly on the lips, leaving a tingling sensation. He pulled away, blushing. "I like, owe you a bunch of those from when we were kids. I'll totally make it better and pay you back, like, at least tenfold!"

We fell asleep in each other's arms, our happy ending here at last.

I have to remember to thank Gillian.

* * *

**Poland was hard to write at first, but I wrote a one-shot to get into his character. I loved writing this. A lot. I must write LietPol more often. When I reread this, I didn't know how I wrote it. -blush- Did you like it?**

**The whole flashback thing is from an episode of Hetalia. The one where Liet's trying to prepare Poland for Russia's invasion. It's flashback, but you should remember.. SUFIN! THERE WAS SUFIN, SPAMANO, AMEJAP.. and now EngJap~! Can't wait for le next episode~!  
**

**My school will start this Monday, so updates for this and EOLS will be delayed.. Also, I have to finish virtualschool.. I HATE WORK.. (And yet I impose deadlines upon myself.. ' 3')  
**

**Also, Yaaaaay~! I'd like to thank the many people who reviewed, because you made me mega-edit this chapter to perfection! Reviews are so inspiring to me, I'll update even faster if I get some more! Criticism is welcome, because it helps my work get better~!  
**

**Stay awesome!  
**(b ^ w^)b**  
**


	24. Awesome goes to a meeting

**I do not own Hetalia. If I did, all of my fan's breasts would belong to Korea. :3**

**Enjoy~**

* * *

"It's awesome to be back!" I said loudly, poised in front of the building.

"Schwester, please, don't make too much of a ruckus. I mean, please try to behave.." Luddy sighed, rubbing his temples .

I laughed at him. "Kesesese~. These people haven't seen my awesome in so long! I have to show then what they were missing! And I get to see Tori again!" I ran in to the building. Today we were in England for the meeting. And I was told its going to be America next time. Why do I care? Because after the meeting, Denmark, England, and the awesome me were going to one of her pubs. I'm worth celebrating!

Bruder followed me diligently. "Please don't cause any trouble. Gil? Please, I mean it."

I waved him off. "Bruder, you really think I would do that?"

"Yes."

"Well then, I'll try not to be too bad." We were almost there, anyway. He couldn't stop me now, no matter what he thought!

But when we got there, the place was only half full... BUT IT DIDN'T MATTER BECAUSE FRANCE AND SPAIN WERE ALREADY THERE! HELL YEAH!

I quietly ran over to them. They didn't see me yet... good.. good.. Then I put them both in a headlock from behind. "I'M BACK, GUYS!"

Antonio and Francis's eyes widened, and their faces lit up in smiles that I've seen happier than in a long time. "Is my awesome making you speechless?"

They didn't even have to say anything. They just hugged me tightly, and I hugged back, tearing up. "Guys, your significant others are going to think you want me instead of them if this keeps going on~"

The sat up immediately. Francis snuck a peek at Alice, who immediately huffed and turned to talk to America. Spain gave a small wave to Lovina. She made a punching motion to her hand, and he flinched.

Hey, I was kidding. But this is fine too. It's more fun this way! We spent the next hour or so catching up, mainly them telling me about everything I missed. (Bruder always got us there too early.) I got more than a few tomatoes as a gift from Toni, and Frannie here tried giving me love advice. "Do you like anyone in a special way, Gil?"

Do I?

Well.. maybe..

Frannie and Toni smiled. My face must've changed while I was thinking! I'll put on my awesome acting skills to fool them! "Not at all.." Then I pointed over to my brother. I'll just distract them! "Guys, look at them!" They did, watching the cute scene play out before them.

Bruder sat down next to Felicia. She hugged him. "Ve, I'm so happy today Ludwig!"

He blushed, but tried to hide it. "W-why is that, Feli?"

She gave him a kiss, and his face burned redder. "Because you're here now! Ti amo!" And she began rambling about pasta.

I smiled. "I swear she knows exactly what she's doing." I was happy for my bruder. I was worried he was going to be too dense to realize the bond they had...

France patted my head. "I will discover who you like someday soon."

England stood at the front of the room. "EVERYONE PLEASE TAKE YOUR SEATS." We were assigned seats by geography. So-

Oh fuck.

Hell no.

VERDAMMIT!

I had to sit next to Russia..

I sat down quietly, aware that the whole room was secretly watching me. My bruder gave me a look. The one that said 'OH PLEASE MY AWESOME SISTER, LISTEN TO ME JUST THIS ONCE'.

No I am not misinterpreting it! I'm too awesome to misinterpret.

So I sat, and the meeting began. It actually went really smoothly until halfway through.

Because then, that Russian bastard put his hand on my leg. "Gillian, what is wrong? Why are you so stiff?"

I twitched. Then I looked over at bruder. He was busy taking notes for the meeting.. "I'll try to be polite. Get your fucking hands off of my knee." I whispered, seething.

He didn't. But he smiled at me. "Why, Gillian?"

My brows furrowed as I tried hiding my anger. "Don't dare call me Gillian, RUSSIA." I said the last part a bit forcefully, trying to get him to SHUT IT with talking to me.

That fucking Russian bastard. "Why, Gillian?"

I sighed, and gave him a 'fuck off' smile. "Because the awesome me said so, that's why."

He took his hand off. What? The look I gave him must have been pretty weird. I didn't actually think he would do it.

"Is Prussia all right for now?"

Prussia? I mean, hell, most people call me East or something... (Toni and Frannie called me Prussia, but they were awesome.) "I guess.." I feigned interest in the meeting. What was he playing at?..

He giggled. "Okay then, Prussia." We were still whispering, but bruder seemed to be keeping an ear out now.

By the end of the meeting, I was almost ready to forgive Russia. To forget about the whole ... me as a captive.. thing. Maybe even be friends..

But he blew it.

"Prussia?" He looked at me innocently.

I barely glanced back. The meeting was getting better. America and England were fighting about robots and heroes or something.. "Yeah?"

"Would you like to become one with Russia?"

I gaped at him. He was smiling, as if this was a normal thing for him. My face probably contorted into a furious look beyond anger, and I slapped that bastard clean across the face. "FUCK NO! NOT EVEN WHEN HELL FREEZES OVER." I didn't care that the entire room shut up. I didn't care that my bruder was disappointed in me. I didn't even care that Ivan looked like he was about to cry. I stormed out, making a grand exit.

I thought he was putting the past behind him, like I was...

BUT NEVER MIND! HE CAUGHT ME OFF GUARD! HE'S AS MUCH OF A BASTARD NOW AS HE WAS THEN!

I sat down in my car. (VW's are the best cars in existence, fuck anyone who thinks otherwise.) I looked back up at the meeting. Everyone seemed to be in the middle of a chaotic argument, and I didn't care. I drove off. I'll come back when the meeting's over, Luddy.

* * *

(Inside, Russia's pov)

Gillian?

Why did you hit me?

It was a question that could have been answered with no, da?

Germany looked at me, almost as angry as Gillian was. He took the front of my jacket in his fist, lifting me off of my chair. "WHAT DID YOU SAW TO MY SCHWESTER?"

I regained my footing, so now Germany had to readjust his grip. "I did not do anything, Germany..." I was still watching the door sadly.

Why?

Did she not like me anymore?

Did she not know how lonely I was without her?

He shook his head. "She wouldn't act that way over nothing, Russia." He was straining not to say bad words..

I thought to what may have upset her. "I only asked her if she wanted to become one with Russia..." He didn't let go of me, as I hoped.

Instead his grip tightened. His voice lowered, so only I could hear. "And vhy vould you zay somezing like that, Russia? Don't you zhink you've already zcarred her enough?" Nearly all nations could control it, but his German accent was getting thicker as he spoke with anger.

I did not answer that. I felt no need to explain myself. "If she did not want to become one with Russia, she should have said so in a polite manner. This is why she needed to be a lady.."

Don't let this German boss you around, kick his ass!

But I cannot! That is Gillian's brother..

Ever heard of survival of the fittest?

No...

It MeAnS i TaKe OvEr, BiTcH.

My fist moved without warning, slamming Germany in the chest, winding him momentarily. "UnHaNd Me, gErMaNy..."

He didn't. He instead punched me very hard in the jaw, and a fight was almost started. Someone finally did something. America, England, France, and North Italy held back Germany. While China, Japan, Spain, Denmark, Sweden, Finland, Belarus, and Turkey held me back.

Germany calmed down instantly, because his Italy was crying on him. He spent his time trying to comfort her. I was left to a feeling of acute guilt.

Why?

BeCaUsE hE aSkEd FoR iT~

Please, just stop this.

NeVeR. wE'vE gOnE ThRoUgH fAr ToO mUcH tOgEtHeR tO sToP nOw, IvAn...

"Brother?" I looked up. The nations were all arguing. Was I the cause? I did not want to be..

"Vanya?" It was Natalia who was talking. Only my family used that name..

"Da?" She looked sad.

"Brother, why were you talking to her?" Her eyes were questioning, and her knives were hidden somewhere on her dress.

"I do not know how to answer that, Natalia." I rubbed the back of my neck, speaking softly. "I was compelled to.." I managed a weak smile.

She nodded grimly. "So it has come to this, brother?" She gave me a scary look. "Aren't we ever getting married.. married.. married..?"

I looked away. "... I must leave, da?" The room was loud, yelling nations making up the fray. I did not need to endure this if Gillian was not here to talk to.

And my sister scared me. I shivered. I do not want to marry you, Natalia.. Never will I, da?

I ignored the protests of America and Germany, leaving anyway.

She did not like me?

HoW dO yOu WaNt HeR tO lIkE yOu?

I do not know, voice.

HoW dO yOu FeEl AbOuT tHiS gIrL, iVaN?

I do not know, voice. But I do know, that I need to learn how I feel about her, and how she feels about me. Why are you helping me, voice?

WhEn WiLl YoU lEaRn? I aM yOu, IvAn..

* * *

(Prussia's pov, that night.)

I slammed my hands on the table. "Bruder, what the fuck do you mean by that?"

"I meant what I said, Gil.." Germany rubbed his temples, looking up at me sadly. "I don't want you to attend meetings that aren't mandatory."

"But there's only one big thing a year EVERYONE has to go to!" I shook my head. "And what makes you think I'll stop going?"

"Because our boss agrees with me!" He yelled, making me cringe. Bruder never yells at me... "And I'm worried, Gillian!" His voice was softer now, sadder. "About you.. I don't want Russia to try anything against you.."

"West, I-" I said as I reached my hand out to try to comfort him, but he jolted away. "Bruder.."

He lowered his head. "I'm sorry, Gil, but whether you like it or not.. I'm going to try to keep you safe." He looked up, determined. "I don't want you to get hurt anymore.."

Damn. He's using the adorable little brother act on me.. Then again, knowing him, it's not an act. He actually cares. And he's actually worried. "Fine." He looked up hopefully. "I won't go anymore.." I pointed my finger in his face. "But if I want to visit another nation, god be damned if you try to stop me!"

He grunted professionally. "Thank you, schwester.. "

I blushed, turning my head away. "Yeah, yeah. I'm gonna be bored out of my mind! So don't complain if I annoy you!"

Then he smiled a little. "I wouldn't have it any other way.."

* * *

**I tried to make this longer then normal, but.. Fail ending is cheesy. :3**

**Also, I didn't get to many reviews last chapter, so I lost my gumption for FF writing and stopped for a while. I won't write like that again.. -swears it to holy hell-  
But I'm sorry if Gilly is becoming ooc! -thinks she is- I mean, Prussia's character in general has slight tsundere tendencies.. Does anyone know what it's called? Certainly not moe.. (Or is it?..)  
With genderbending characters, some of the personality traits are like a 'lost in translation' scenario, ne?  
**

**If you liked this story, then review. If not, then don't.**

**But remember to stay awesome!**

**( ' 7')/  
**


	25. Ivan's time away from his Gillian

**Damn homework...**

**Makin' me forget how to write Russia..**

**Enjoy anyway~  
**

* * *

My luck has taken a turn for the worse... starting with my Gillian leaving me.

My union is breaking from the inside out, leading to pain and suffering for me. I remember the day she pierced me..

My minions yelling at me did not faze me one bit. Even the pain did not matter that much to me then, either. It was the look in her eyes were the worst thing. They were filled with contempt, hate, and sadness. I did not know she disliked my house. She could have told me.. Faintly, I saw her beautiful red eyes hold regret as the vestiges of my conscious slipped into darkness.

I remember waking up to a cold, empty hospital room. It was quiet, all except for my sisters were sitting next to me, crying. I sat up, feeling great pain. How I hate pain. How I hate that I am as used to it as I am. It was hard to breathe, but I managed to speak, to let them know I was here. "Sisters.. "

Natalia and Kataya both hugged me tightly in an instant. But they stopped after remembering that I was hurting greatly.

"We are sorry for this.." Kataya spoke up first. Strange, she is usually just a silent girl, or crying. It wasn't always like that.. "But-"

I patted her head, smiling. "As long as my sisters are here, it doesn't matter that my minions left me, da?"

Even if I didn't convince myself of this, it convinced them.

She was nudged in the rib by Natalia, who motioned towards the doctor coming in.

"Da?"

He opened his clipboard. "You have healed at an incredible rate.. You have been in a coma for a near week. Do you feel dizzy?"

I thought. Did I? After a bit of experimenting, I found an answer. "Nyet." Whether I moved or not, I felt mostly recovered.

"Extraordinary.." He wrote on his papers.

I am not particularly fond of humans..

YoU cOuLd MaKe HiM dIsApPeAr, If YoU pUt Me In CoMmAnD..

I am not that well, voice. Maybe later.

SuIt YoUrSElF~

They are like annoying insects. They sin without remorse, not caring that it is us who take the pain. Us who have to live with the consequences of their decisions. Filthy creatures.. But they make me who I am, and I would rather they live and die naturally. I would rather it was peaceful.

"Brother?" I noticed the man was caught in my faux smile, cowering.

I turned to Kataya, who spoke. "We are sorry, Ivan.. our bosses said we have to go to our nations to run things.."

I sighed. "Are they making you separate from me as well?"

Kataya nodded, tears about to fall from her eyes. I looked at Natalia, and she too was about to cry. I held out my arms, taking them in a hug. "No matter what happens, you two will always be my sisters, da?"

They nodded. We stayed like this until the doctor interrupted. "S-sir? Visiting hours are over.."

My sisters each gave me a kiss on the forehead, leaving soundlessly. I laid back down, tired. I stared at the white ceiling.

It has been a while since father winter visited me, da?

ShOuLdN't ThAt Be A gOoD tHiNg?

Da.. but I only wonder what he may be up to..

I did not hear the voice's reply, because I fell into sleep's wonderfully welcoming arms.

_I had my favorite dream. The dream where everyone in my extended family is in a vast field of sunflowers. Laughing, smiling. Happy. But this time, Gillian is also there. She runs into my arms, happier than she ever was around me. Her eyes are full of something I cannot yet recognize, her hair and spirit flowing freely. Then she opens her smiling mouth, as if to say something, and-_

I wake up.

I sit straight, saddened to be out of my dream. I wanted to hear what she was saying.. I look to the windows, seeing light stream though. Shaking my head sadly, I know deep within that my worst pain is yet to come. When my land begins to break away, when my family truly leaves me..

I am discharged after another day, and I go back to work within a week. Kataya repaired my jacket, and the scarf she made me. My people... are at a standstill. We technically lost against America.. I cannot say that we won. I am the one who takes the loss with grace, while my bosses drabble about how unfair it is. But they truly have no right...

YoU kNoW.. yOuR pIpE hAsN't BeEn UsEd In A wHiLe...

But I manage to block out my voice. Most of the time.

* * *

(Directly after chapter 21)

My officials know that we cannot keep the others here..

I am alone. I walk through my house, sometimes, looking through their rooms. My house used to be filled with nations. My house was a place of life, of joy. Many have come and gone, but never have I been here alone before. It is losing its luster, it's beauty.

Natalia visiting me at any time she feels like it is unwelcome.

Father winter.. He has not visited in so long. I wonder why. I worry that something may have happened to him.. but I also dread actually seeing him. He is the one that made me feel cold. Now I feel cold permanently. Is he the reason my voice has come?..

My feelings are mixed.

But I have plans. I want peace for my people! So today, I do not open my doors, I do not walk around. I have a sheet of paper in front to me. White, blank copying paper. Paper like this is supposed to let your mind go free..

But it doesn't work. I throw my pen to the ground angrily.

"Why?" I hold my head in my hands, not knowing why the tears flow so freely from my eyes. It was yesterday that I last saw Gillian.. she was as beautiful as ever. But her and her brother are united in a way known to me. They are brother and sister.

I now realize that it was a horrible thing I did. Siblings should not be separated. I hate that my sisters and I are not together. Germany's eyes were filled with sadness, and he would have broken had his sister not returned to him when she was. He would have died..

..like my mother..

But is she really dead? Or alive, dormant, within me...

I bent and picked the pen up. After twirling it in my hands for a while, I had a sudden idea. I rushed to my seat, drawing a new flag.

It is striped. It has a white stripe on top, representing my little sister; it is not that she is plain, but the color fits her. It has a blue stripe in the middle, representing my elder sister; such a happy color would. And it has a red stripe at the bottom, representing me; blood colored...

I held up the paper, smiling at it. This will work. my boss may have to be, convinced, shall we say, but he needs a new flag. The Soviet flag was burned..

My sisters.. I love them. I miss them. I smile to myself warmly at the very thought of them. Natalia used to be so small, so cute. Until she began scaring the crap out of me.. My elder sister's hugs used to be a lot more comfortable then they are now, but they were always filled with her love.

But they promised they would visit soon. That thought kept my smile on my face.

PrUsSiA's NeArLy As BiG As OuR sIsTeR, iSn'T sHe?

My ears flushed with warmth. "Voice, please do not speak of Gillian with such rude implications!"

I'm NoT tHe OnE dReAmInG aBoUt HeR~

I could not say anything to that, because it was right. My dreams were reoccurring. My most recent one was gruesome..

_My field... it has seen so much misery. It was soaked with blood. The blood of the past. The soviet flags were placed all around it, burning as they did on that day. My wide field, many of my old family were placed around it. But slowly, they walked away. Leaving me alone, helpless, cold._

_I fell to my knees, crying. But the sunflowers.. they started growing out of the field around me. It became warmer.. I looked up, tears staining my face . I look up to see... a silhouette.. but who? Who is it? They reach out their hand to help me gingerly, and when I reach to take it, I-_

Woke up. I was getting quite tired of that.

But I realize that I have changed since this change was a long time coming.

The person who changed me was you, Gillian. I loved you for it. You always had hope, for the most part. You showed disdain towards me, so I do not know truly how you felt. And I will never give that part in my heart for anyone else..

Because even though our bosses may not see it, we are human. Just as human as they are. Maybe more so. We can live forever, but that is the only difference. We become angered, we war, we rage, as do our people. But we also have immense feeling of happiness when something good happens to us, or to our nation as a whole. When we become attached to something enough, when we feel strongly enough for something.. we can begin to love it. Humans would not be able to understand that. We can begin to cherish it. Life is something you only have once, so you must live it without regret.

Psh, you think humans are worth something? ReAlLy, I sWeAr I tAuGhT yOu BeTtEr..

Sadly, I regret much of which I have done. I will go no further into details.. it would be too painful..

oH, iT fUcKiNg WiLl bE. The voice somehow managed to incite memories of humans that did me wrong, of times I felt only pain because of them. I clutched my head, holding back screams. I.. felt like I was reliving them..

HuMaNs ArE sLiMy LiTtLe FuCkS, aNd DoN't YoU fOrGeT iT!

I held the edge of the table, trying to stay up. I have too much blood on my hands. Even that of filthy humans. I am saying their ideals can be useful at times.

Whatever.

My sins.. they will never be completely washed away. But maybe they can be forgiven..

It's worth a shot, asshole.

Be quiet. NOW.

OoH~! ToUgH gUy~!

* * *

**I GOT MY APH MANGA. I'M SO HAPPY~! **

**Anyway, if you enjoyed, review! Because then I'd be happy. Er. :D**

**Also, Az-kun (or Lunar, here) made me an aweosme video! Danke again~  
Yay for RusPru and awesome people~!  
-applause-  
**

**www. youtube. com/ watch?v=FY _u0htD62I**

**I wonder if anyone really wanted to know what Russia was doing in the time Gil was away. ****So I made you guys this extra-long look at Russia's pov, which I completely forgot how to do.**** I wrote this again... and again.. and again.. and finally said, SCREW THIS. Because Prussia here kept messing with me!**

**Prussia: I DID NOT. I only wanted beer and wurst! The awesome me NEEDS those in my diet, ja?**

**Germany: -puts on glasses- This person does not own Hetalia, otherwise she would add more- !... _Was_?  
**

**Prussia: What's it say, bruder?**

**Germany: -blushing- She'd add.. more Germancest..**

**Me: -thumbs up- Heck yeah~**

**Prussia: Not that you'd mind, bruder! Anyone'd wanna be with the awesome me! -hugs Germany-**

**Germany: -feints-**

**Italy: Ciao~ -waves cutely-**

**Stay awesome!**

** ( *^ 7^)~  
**


	26. In which Gil's Germanic friends visit

**Sorry for the wait! Please enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia. If I did, Prussia would be in the anime more often! (And maybe fem. And maybe with Russia.. or Germany.. or Canada..)**

* * *

(Germany pov)

Austria and Hungary were coming over today. This made me nervous.

It's not that I didn't want my Germanic neighbors to see my schwester. I rather enjoyed their company. No, what I worry about is her current state, and how they would take it.

My schwester seemed to be sick..

* * *

_~Three days ago~_

_"Hey, Bruder?"I turned to look Gillian in the eye while I talked to her._

_"Yes, Gil? I'm slightly busy right now.." I looked back forlornly at my work, knowing she was going to distract me.._

_It was much better having her here and bugging me then when she was at Russia's. Even when Italy was here, the house was just too quiet.._

_She frowned, hugging me tightly. "I miss when you were cute, Luddy. You're so boring now.."_

_I blushed from the contact. "I-I have plenty of books in my library, Gil! You can read those!"_

_She shook her head. "I already read all of those. Hell, I got at least half of them for you!" She gave him the puppy dog eyes. That's right: America isn't the only one who knows how to use those. It's one of the only weapons she uses that's guaranteed to work against me. And she knows it... _

_I thought for a minute. Then an idea struck me. I inched away from her slowly as I told her. "You could always.. uh.. write in your journals!"_

_It took her a second to remember what those were. "OH YEAH! I haven't written in those in about 50 years!" She ruffled my hair, knowing I hated it. It was endearing, though. "I think I'll log everything down!" My albino schwester exited through the door in a happy run, humming an old song._

_I think what she was happy about was that she managed to get all of the Baltic's out of my house. She knows that I think that fish and guests are the same: They stink after three days. I don't know quite how she got Estonia and Latvia to leave__**(1)**__, but I know she got Lithuania together with Poland to get her out. Although she did seem happier, it seemed to be a bittersweet happiness. She was really accustomed to Lithuania, and Gillian missed the Baltic._

_A little while later, she managed to swindle me out of three hundred pfennigs, but it was worth the silence that followed. And it wasn't the bad silence from before, but a gentle one. A happier one._

_Needless to say, I'm elated my schwester is back, even though it may not seem like it.

* * *

_

I thought she was making progress at first..

Every now and again, I would go in her room to clean up, and she seemed to get sadder and sadder as her diaries piled up. I don't want to be rude to Hungary And Austria, but I know that Gil wouldn't want to be seen like this..

But after hearing their knocking, I got up to greet them. "Guten tag, Elizaveta. Roderick."

They were all smiles and daisies, expecting the best. "Hello, Ludwig. Where's Gillian?" Hungary was on a first name basis with Gil, as well as Austria.

That meeting left the impression on Hungary that Gil was fine. She really wasn't though. I rubbed my neck, trying to think of how to tell them politely to go away."I don't know how she'll take to guests.."

Austria huffed. "It doesn't matter if she takes to us or not." He blushed. "We would just like to see if she is all right.."

Hungary patted his head. "Roddy, she'll be fine!" She turned back to me, with a sad smile on her face. "But I'd like to speak to her alone first.."

I couldn't say no to that... I sighed. "Yes, that... take your time." She ran up the stairs, humming happily. I turned back to Austria. "I have cake and tea ready.."

The Austrian smiled a little. "May I partake?"

* * *

Hungary...

Hungary?

ELIZA?

I looked at my doorway. Fuck, what was the frying pan lady doing here?

And what's with that pitiful look she's giving me?

Why's my face warm?... I felt my cheeks, and they were wet. What? I looked back at the journal I was on. Oh.. the early eighties...

The next thing I knew, I was hugged tightly by Hungary. "Shhh... It's all right Gil.. you aren't with Russia anymore.."

I teared up a bit more. "N-not awesome.." Then I hugged her tightly, and cried. She didn't mind.. she's always been there when I needed a shoulder to cry on, and I was for her, too! Yeah, like when her and Roddy split in 1918... oh who gives a damn..

I remember when we were smaller. She and I hid that we were girls until we grew. But before that, we were friends, enemies, sisters. WE had a bond deeper then blood! But then Roddy took her away from me. I bugged them a lot after that.. heh~.

I don't know how long passed while I was lost in my thoughts. After a while, the tears stopped. Then I looked up at Hungary again. She smiled sadly. "Are we all better now?"

I managed a weak smile. "Yeah.."

"Do you think you want to see another guest? He's really worried about you.." She was back to her normal smile, that radiant motherly one.

I smirked. "It depends. Can this guest stand my awesome presence?"

"I think he can try, Gilly." She giggled, running to the doorway. "Roddy! It's safe to see her now!"

Wait, she brought him?

HIM?

No way. Fuck! I don't want to see HIM.

Austria came to stand in the doorway. "I've been waiting for three hours. What took so long?"

As soon as I saw his face, the predator in me took action. I didn't even know it happened until it was done.

I jumped out of the chair, tackling him to the ground. "What are you doing here, bastard?" Hungary and Germany were frozen in the doorway with shock.

He looked up at me fearfully. "I came to see if you were all right, but it seems you are as rude as ever." I glared at him, and his face looked saddened.

Then my frying pan senses tingled, and I jumped off of him before Hungary could get me. "What's your problem, Gilly? He was worried about you as much as I was!"

The prey in me wanted to give in.. Hungary's frying pan arm didn't need any work, she'd been practicing on France.

But the predator in me wanted to retain my pride.

" I don't want the unawesome guests." I pointed at him accusingly. How dare she bring a man in here. "Especially HIM." Germany didn't want me to attack again, so he pulled the other nations out of the room.

I sat back down on my chair, picking up my pen. I have to finish these diaries up to today.. I'll just write..

* * *

After pulling Hungary and Austria out of the room, I rushed them downstairs. I was panting, and managed to apologize. "I'm so sorry. I didn't know that she would do that.. I figured she would allow a male because she allows me.."

Hungary was tearing up. "Roddy, she was fine with me.. Hey! At least she didn't break your glasses again."

Austria sighed. "I wished to tell her that I missed her, but I guess I cannot even say that. Some scars are too deep..."

Hungary smirked, looking at both of us. "I managed to swipe those diaries of hers.." She held up a large pile she'd somehow hid behind her back.

Wait, that was invading her space! "I don't think she would like that, Elizaveta."

She didn't pay attention. "Roddy, you're a doctor. Can you read these and see what her problem is?"

"But..." Her diaries were forbidden...

He nodded. "I'll try my best." He took the diaries, and locked himself in the library.

I turned back to Hungary. "How long do you think he'll take?" I was worried about her extreme reaction. Would she ever want to see another male nation besides me? What about her best friends, France and Spain? Hopefully, Austria will be able to explain this..

Hungary smiled at me. "How about we make some of Gilly's favorite foods for lunch?" Then she grabbed my arm and skipped off to the kitchen before I could protest.

* * *

(Austria's pov)

I muttered to myself, writing things down every now and again. But I didn't like what I was seeing. She wasn't going into detail about anything.. There were little things that happened through the day, of her and the Baltic's, but she never wrote anything in depth about Russia. When I saw she started on something about him, the ink on the page would be smudged, completely unreadable. Wet with tears, most likely...

I blushed. Good god, what could have happened there? I did not really want to know, but I didn't want Gillian to hate me either. Is it that she's afraid of men? Could what Russia did have been so.. scarring? Or could it be that she still holds a grudge against me? If any of these were the case, her bad feelings toward me would be greatly amplified.

It seems she's made key words that appear every now and again. Things like 'predator', 'prey', and 'awesome'. The only thing is, I do not have the key to tell me what these mean..

I do wish to see her in her better days to come. I regard her as a close friend..

I only looked up when Elizaveta came in. "Roddy! She finished the last diary, and I managed to swipe it while she wasn't looking~" She bounced over to me, placing a small kiss on my forehead. Then she placed the book in front of me, along with a plate covered by a napkin. "I have to go back before she gets suspicious, but keep up the wonderful work, Roddy!" She skipped out.

I turned back to the food, my mouth watering. It smelt like her home cooking.. I ate it as I read through the final diary, the one up to today. Yes, reading all of her diaries in a few hours was quite a task.. nearly 50 years of history from her point of view..

I was nearly done with the meal of wurst and mashed potatoes (Gillian's favorite foods) when I came to the last entry. I dropped my fork and looked at it. This one actually went into detail about Russia..

(A/N: Earlier, ne?)

_ And now I finished making my diaries! AWESOME WINS! I didn't enjoy logging my time at Russia's, but it had to be done. Because someday, in the future, people and nations alike will want to know how my awesome life went! _

_ Speaking of Russia, I'll trust you, Awesome Diary. I'm not quite sure about how I feel about Russia. I thought I hated him, and I did when I was first taken to that hellhole. I think that him being taken care of by Belarus is his reward for that! The fucker.. But I got off track. Anyway, I wonder if anyone actually wonders about what's under that scarf Ukraine made for him. I don't think anyone would, but I'll tell my awesome diary since I haven't put it since before now. Russia is like me and bruder. He's a slave to his government during bad times. Like during the holocaust, bruder didn't want to see all of those people hurt. I'm sure it's scarred him for life, the way that all of our citizens burned.. when we didn't approve of it, our boss didn't care. Russia's had a lot of bosses like that, but ours just wanted to make our country better, and didn't physically hurt us. Well his did. He has nearly as many scars as I do. It's a sad sight. But under his scarf is the worst. He actually told me how he got that one time. His government is far more corrupt then mine. They do not care how or why my people die, only that the ends justify the means. In fact, he was taken hostage during nearly every revolution. They weren't nice. I was imprisoned at his house because of my circumstance. But his treatment was worse, he was unable to do anything while his flesh was slowly turned to bone out of starvation, his bones revealed after they peeled his flesh, and they tried killing him a bunch of times. Many times they failed. They even tried scooping out his throat, cutting his jugular vein repeatedly, and beheading him. I don't know how he survived that, and I really don't want to know. But he never tried to escape from them. He returned the favor by not letting them escape, inevitably resulting in their demise. I remember this because he would always try to act nice after 'punishment'. And he would cry sometimes, wondering why the world was so mean to him I'm not saying I don't hate him, but it's not that kind of hate. It's more of a fear hate. I'm not sure what my feeling are for him. It's funny, and hard to describe, Diary. _

_ Bastard.. _

_ And since you're a diary, you probably didn't notice I stopped writing mid-diary a while ago, but Austria and Hungary are here today! I want that pansy-ass Roderick to mind his own business, but I really want to hang out with Hungary, so I'll do that, and finish this entry in tomorrow's. _

_If I were to put my feelings into this, I would say that Roderick brings out the predator in me, Elizaveta brings out the prey in me, and Ludwig brings out the awesome in me! There aren't too many that bring out the awesome in me! I mean, Antonio, Francis, Matthias, Madeline, and bruder seem to be the only people that can! _

_..._

_Fuck, this one turned out like a real diary entry! It's supposed to be the log of my awesome life! I'll do if right from now on for sure!_

_-The Awesomeness that is, always has been, and always will be, Prussia_

I reread it a few times, finally realizing what I thought she had. I compiled a summary of the notes onto one sheet. Then I tore open the door and ran downstairs. Peeking around the corner, I tried my best not to startle the rooms' recipients, knocking on the wall quietly.

This made Ludwig look toward me, his eyes questioning. "Excuse me, I have to take care of something."

Gillian laughed at him. "Probably have to go take a shit, doncha bruder?"

Elizaveta popped her on the head playfully. "Don't be so vulgar, Gilly!"

They were left to laugh after Ludwig came into the next room, blushing. He shook it off. "Did you find anything?" His eyes seemed hopeful now.

I held up my notes, and whispered my theory to him. "I believe she has Stockholm's syndrome!"

His face told me that he had not an inkling of what that was.

So I elaborated. "Stockholm's syndrome is a term used to describe when a paradoxical phenomenon wherein a hostage express adulation and have positive feelings toward their captors that appear irrational in light of the danger or risk endured by the victims!" I didn't realize my voice was steadily rising. "In most cases of Stockholm syndrome occurring, as with this one, the captive is in a situation where the captor has stripped nearly all forms of independence from the victim, gained control of the victims life, as well as basic needs for survival." I didn't notice when Gillian and Elizaveta cracked the door open to hear what I was talking about. "If the captor is purely evil and abusive, the hostage will respond with hatred. But if the perpetrator shows some kindness, victims will submerge the anger they feel in response to the terror! They'll try to concentrate on the captors good side, as an excuse for the hurt and pain to protect themselves. Their mentality-"

But my speech abruptly stopped by a pair of hands around my throat. I could see Gillian holding me up, fury evident in her blood red eyes. "I told you to stay away from me, you fucker. And now you say I'm sick?"

I saw Elizaveta look around for her frying pan, about to hit Gillian, but I motioned no, she shouldn't. "Gillian, I only read your diaries to help you-"

And I was cut off yet again because her grip tightened, making it impossible for me to speak. "You read my diary." She coughed a laugh, before yelling in my face. "YOU READ MY FUCKING DIARIES. NO ONE READS MY FUCKING DIARY." Prussia pulled her fist back, and I cringed.

But I wasn't hit. Instead, I was dropped, and I coughed while I tried to regain my footing. I looked up at the Prussian.

She'd stopped herself, staring in horror at her hands. "F-fuck.. I did... what he did.. crap.." Said Prussian wiped her hands off on her clothes, glaring at the floor. "Shit... stupid fucker.."

"Gillian.." I said, as I tried to reach out to her, but she jumped back, looking scared.

"I'm going upstairs, just.. stay away ... I don't wanna be unawesome like him... I'm not going to hurt anyone anymore.." Her face looked extremely hurt as she backed up slowly, shaking her head, then ran up the stairs.

The Germanic nations stared after her.

"What?.."

Germany looked at me apologetically. "I'm sorry, Roderick. I didn't know she would try to hurt you.." He sighed. "But you may have brought it on yourself. She doesn't even let me read her diaries." He looked up the stairs sadly. "Ever since she came back from Russia's place, it seems as though she's changed.. not for the better.."

I knew this was not the same Prussia I grew up with. The one who bullied me with Hungary. The one who stole my vital regions. The one who fought alongside myself and her brother during the world wars. The one who was my friend, and could at least stand to stay in a room with me..

Hungary ran upstairs, to try to comfort her. But Gillian locked the door, and no sounds emitted from the room.

This went on while Germany and I tried to find a solution. "She did have a few more people listed under the category of 'awesome'."

Germany didn't even try to understand me this time. "Are there any girls?"

I looked at my list again. "Is Canada a girl?"

He gave me a weird look. "Who?"

* * *

**Those memories Austria has of her aren't very nice.. **

**Anywhoo, TCC brought up Stockholm's syndrome before... and before you start thinking she feels a certain way about him, IT'S NOT EFFING STOCKHOLM'S SYNDROME, JEEZ.**

**France: It's l'amore~**

**Spain: Es pasión~**

**Prussia: FUCK ALL OF YOU! -points accusingly, flushed- EVEN IF IT'S TRUE!**

**Russia: -hugs- Yay~!**

**Me: STOP IT, ALL OF YOU! NO SPOILERS, OR I'LL LOCK YOU IN A ROOM WITH BELARUS.**

**All: -salute- Yes ma'am! -run away-**

**I was going to spread this into a few chapters, but I'm not really fond of cliffhangers. **

**I GOT THE HETALIA ANIME. You know that scene where Lovi and Feli are sleepig in the same bed? Well in the dub, Lovi says: "Great, another night of garlic dutch ovens!" xD  
I DIED.  
Some of the voices suck, some are fitting, and some are growing on me. However, the original is awesomest!**

**Prussia: MY VOICE SUCKS. ; 3;**

**Me: ... it does. Dx  
(No more rambling!)**

**( ^ -^)~**

**Stay awesome!  
And please review, because it tells me you think my story is interesting enough to comment on, which would give me a major confidence booster!**


	27. A modest love is only made of sin

_**I wonder how this chapter will be taken.. as I sit, doing homework nightly, I type my story up slowly, this one and EOLS, to a point where I sometimes opinionated myself too much. One night, I was studying religion, and this chapter was to be born. How would Russia respond to the idea, I thought, of a greater being. Would he, like most humans, turn to it?  
Mt view on religion is skeptical at best, but that is because I have nothing to believe in but myself. **_

_**On a brighter note, please enjoy the chapter!  
**_

_**~~

* * *

  
**_

On a whim, I abandoned my job as a nation. Temporarily, of course.

I decided that I needed to try religion. If Gillian were to accept me, I would need to be whole. I'm an orthodox Christian, or rather, my people. But.. it is a lenient religion..

So I figured for forgiveness, I must head to the Italia's, for the Vatican is found there.

I made the journey to Italy secretly, starting at early morning, arriving by noon. But once there...

I lost my courage. I sat on the stairs, head in my hands.

I have come this far already, I need to go in!

I aLwAyS kNeW yOu WeRe A cHiCkEn~

...

It SeEmS yOu NeEd MoRe... MoTiVaTiOn...

I shook my head.

nO?

No.

i'M sO cOnViNcEd.

NO! I CAN GO IN!

I stood, turning to the Holy See. I managed to quietly walk inside. I came here dressed in my winter outfit, but the heat did not bother me. I kept getting odd stares, or a lively 'ciao' from a stranger. The tourists kept their distance..

...But I was lost. I had not properly researched how these confessional things were supposed to happen.. I knew there was a box involved.. and there would be someone on the other side, listening.. No, maybe that was in a move..

(WhAt ArE yOu, AmErIcA?)

I looked over the crowds heads around the crowded church, seeing no such thing. I felt a small tug on my arm.

"Ve, Ivan?"

I turned, looking down. It was Northern Italy. She was wearing a slim fitting button up white robe, red cloth draping down over her shoulders. Her hair was down, but it had a white cap covering it, while a golden cross hung around her front. "Feliciana? Why are you dressed like that?"

"Sometimes I like working with my people, ve! I'm a priest~!" She tugged on him, leading him out of the crowd and into a smaller room. "So you must have come from here for a reason, ve? Right? Most people come here as tourists, but you look like a man on a mission!"

I could barely get a word in, but I managed to find an opening. "You are.. not afraid of me?"

The Italian turned back to me, smiling. "Sure I am! But today, you aren't that scary! Just sad.. ve.. What brought you here?"

It didn't seem like I'd be able to keep it a secret, and I would have had to tell someone eventually. "I came here to confess my sins, so that I may pursue.. someone special to me."

The Italian's eyes were now wide open, sparkling. "Ve! That's such a nice reason!" She clapped her hands together in finality. "If you want, I'll listen to you! Then I'll let god forgive you~!"

I looked around. Italy managed to bring me all the way to the front of a small church room. "Da.. so what do I do?"

"Hmm..." She thought, "You're from a more Eastern church, aren't you? "

I nodded, clueless.

"Then we'll skip some of the formalities! I'm all ears, ve!" She sat down on a bench, patting the seat next to her. "Just tell me the bad stuff you did, how many times you did it, and I'll give you advice after you're done!"

Awkwardly, I started off. How many people I'd killed, wars I'd been in, everything. Feliciana has the feeling of one you can trust, which made this easier. Her eyes grew wider and wider, but she didn't judge. I hesitated as I entered the last century, but continued. And then I was done.

I looked back at Italy. She was staring at her feet.

It was silent for a while. I closed my eyes, feeling relieved.

"My advice.."

I looked back at her. "Da?"

Italy looked up, smiling. "You try your best, I can tell. I think you're going on the right path, and all you need to do is be considerate of the feelings of others, ok, ve? We're just as human as the people we represent, and people are built off of many complex emotions."

"We are not human. We are different from those.. weaklings.." A darker side of me despised humans, and it did not wish to comply with Italy. The voice was vicious.. I only hoped it didn't awaken here...

The Italian shook her head, waving her arms. "We have minds! We think! We feel! We're human~, ve!"

I gave her a glare, filled with the darkness of reality. "We kill. We torture. We rape. We're human."

She sighed, attempts dampened temporarily. Then Italy looked back up, determined. "Furthermore, don't listen to the darker, eviler, side of your mind. It will only force heartache upon you."

"But.. I did not tell you about that.."

I gazed at her looking at the wall, and her own gaze darkened. I actually shivered. "We all have that dark side, the one filled with greed, lust, wrath.. and so on.." Her face turned determined. " You need to handle it, otherwise, it'll hurt you, and those you love. You must fight it! The darkness inside you can be controlled by you, since you are it, and it is you! For the sake of yourself and others, Ivan."

Her features brightened as she broke out into a smile, wiping away all previous darkness. "And if you find someone who can help you through all of that.. If you manage find your reason in someone else, a new light shines upon everything, ve! Life blossoms before your eyes! You just want to hug them lots and lots!" She gushed, then paused. Her curl drooped a little, and she blushed. "I mean, Ludwig might accept you someday.. maybe ten years at most it might take him, ve.."

I was confused again. "Why would I want him to accept me?"

"You covet Gillian, right?"

How.. how did she figure it out? Blood rushed to my ears, turning them red. I could feel them burning brightly..

"Ve, I can see it, from when I've seen you two together~! Before, it was a bad thing, during the war, but now.. You both just look different, and it's not a bad different! And the way you both secretly glance at each other.. You're really alike!" Italy giggled at my reaction, my ears turning redder.

"Ivan, you're a good person. I can see it. You just have bad circumstances, ve." She put her hand gently on me, bowing her head. "Ego te absolvo a peccatis tuis."

"I feel.. like a weight has been lifted from my chest.. "I smiled at Italy, a big strong, bright smile that matched her own.

"Now one more thing, Ivan!" There is more? She stood, and pointed at me."You have to feel Penance over your actions! Ve!"

"Penance? What is that?" It sounds familiar..

My answer came from behind me. "Remorse for your past conduct, bastard."

I turned, and saw Lovina, dressed exactly like Feliciana, with her arms crossed. She walked over, talking. "You have to feel sorry for your past sins, and do something to make up for it. Though, from what I've heard, it might have to be something for Gillian.."

"Da?" I would get to see Gillian?

"_Fratella_!" Italy hugged her sister, who brushed her off like a pest. She stood up as if nothing happened, turning back to me. "I think that you should just apologize! And mean it! And spend time with her, getting to know her more! And then you'll be together, and maybe you'll even-"

Lovina clamped her hand over her sister's mouth. "GEEZ, FELI! We're in a church, can you at least TRY to keep your perverted mind in check?"

"Da?" What? Italians were strange..

Lovina pointed at me, shouting. "Listen, you scary fucker! I don't want you to hurt Gil again! For being the potato bastard's sister, she's ok! So stop being so damned scary!" She blushed a little. "Now just.. do your fucking best! Or whatever, asshole!"

"Ohhhhh! You wanted to give Ivan your blessing! Lucky you, Ivan! Ve!" The Italian bounced around like this was a good thing.

"The fucker just sounded like he meant it, fuck! Don't get any wrong ideas, Feli!"

Felicia shushed her sister. "We're in church, be polite, ve!"

Lovina looked at me again, and I smiled at her. "Ch-chigi! Feli, he's creepy, get him out!" She hissed.

Was I scary?

Felicia sighed. Then she bounced over to me. "Ivan! I hate to be rude, but we have to get back to work! My boss will be angry again if we goof off.. even though we volunteer here.."

"I snuck off to come here, da? Maybe I should go home.." I stood. "Thank you for having me."

The cheerful Italian dragged me outside, while her sister trailed us. Most likely thinking I would hurt Italy. She waved. "Bye bye, Ivan!" Then she draped herself over her sister. "Sorella, say goodbye~!"

"Fuck off, Russian bastard.." That Italian said as she stormed back into the famous church.

My boss was angered when I returned, but I ignored him. I went straight up to my bedroom, plopping on my bed. I hope to see Gillian soon... da?

* * *

**Good and evil are a matter of definition. That's what I was trying to imply, and I'll most likely bring it up later as well.  
**

**The Italian's were wearing something along these lines:**  
sphotos .ak .fbcdn .net /hphotos -ak-snc4 /hs320 .snc4 /41320 _110903752301813 _100001465651747 _95198 _399236 _n .jpg

**I stole this from some religious website:**

"May our Lord Jesus Christ absolve thee, and I by His authority absolve thee from every bond of excommunication and interdict in so far as I can and as thou needest it; and so I absolve thee from thy sins in the Name of the Father, Son and Holy Ghost. Amen. May the Passion of our Lord Jesus Christ, the merits of the Blessed Mary ever Virgin, whatever good thou hast done and whatever evil thou has borne, be for thee unto the remission of sins, the increase of grace, and the reward of everlasting life." (Only essential words, according to Dr. Ludwig Ott, "Ego te absolvo a peccatis tuis - I absolve you from your sins.")

**Reviews would amuse me. :3**

**Stay awesome, next chapter'll be out in a minute or so.  
**


	28. Canadian Therapy part 1

**Did the last chapter mess you up? This one's a bit lighter.. I guess..**  
**I didn't beta either cuz it's someoddtime at whoknowswhen in the morning.**

**Hetalia, sadly, isn't mine. However, steal my ideas, and I will do something. :T**

* * *

I don't know why they called me here...

I was currently standing in front of Germany's house. I knocked on the door, shivering. "I have a bad feeling.." I whispered. And it was too cold for just a hoodie and jeans. June, eh?

He opened the door. "Thank you for coming all of this way, Canada. Please come in."

I stepped in, and saw a brown haired nation bawling into a blushing darker brown haired nation, who seemed to be blushing from the contact, but trying to reassure her. "She-she probably hates us now.." The woman mumbled, she started crying harder.

I looked back at Germany. "Is this a Gillian related issue, eh?"

He shook his head yes, and we headed upstairs. He explained the events of a few days ago, "And she hasn't eaten since. I even managed to get France over here, and she wouldn't eat his food. I figured that you could help her, because..."

I patted his shoulder comfortingly after his sentence cut off. "I'll try my best to get her to eat. I'm not making any promises, eh?" We came up to the door, and he left me. I knocked on it a few times. I had to leave Kumanika at home today, so I felt weird without something warm to hold.. all I had to replace him was this suitcase..

"What the fuck do you want now?" The door opened a little. She took one look at me and smiled, happiness shining in her blood red eyes. "Birdie? When did you get here!" Then I was taken in a binding hug, and rushed into her room.

I smiled at her, speaking softly. "I actually just got here, eh." But she looked thin.. so I reached into my briefcase, pulling out god's greatest food: PANCAKES. I smiled when I looked back over at her, because she was drooling. I made these right before my private airplane dropped me off, so they were fresh. I pulled out a bottle of (CANADIAN) Maple syrup, handed her the pancakes, and quietly watched her scarf them down.

She belched. "Ahh... your awesome pancakes are always the best fucking pancakes from anywhere..." Then she placed the plate down, looking at me eagerly.

"I have a proposition, eh Gillian?" I got her to eat! Even when her own brother couldn't... I wasn't sure whether to feel happy or sad at that..

The Prussian smiled at me. "Yeah? Do I get more pancakes?"

I laughed softly. "Only if you agree."

"Go on~, don't keep awesome waiting!" She prompted me to continue.

"Would you like to stay over at my place for a year? Eh?"

She looked surprised at first. Then indecisive. Then completely sure of herself. "Hell yeah!" The Prussian ran to under her bed, pulling out a fully packed suitcase. "And Luddy says I don't prepare for the unexpected.."

I went downstairs. Germany looked at me with hopeful eyes. "I got her to eat.."

His eyes started watering. "Really? What?"

"Pancakes." I stated matter-of-factly. "And now she's going to live with me for a year."

He looked like he was hit with a blunt object. "What?"

Prussia creeped up on him from behind with a hug, earning a rather loud 'GYAAAAARGH' from her German brother. "Yeah, birdie invited me over. I'm old enough to decide things for myself, Luddy!" She mussed his hair up, and ran out the doorway before the others could see her.

He looked at me with an expression a fish might wear. "... do I want to know?..."

I shook my head no. "I don't think so, eh." As soon as I came, I left. He surely wasn't expecting this.

Well, there was always that manipulative French part of me, however deep it was hidden.

* * *

(Later..)

"Hey, Gil?" We were at Canada now, and I just stopped to get groceries. We were heading to my house in my car.

The Prussian looked back at me, smiling. "Yeah?"

I couldn't help but smile, too. "It's been a long time since you were over.."

Prussia nodded. "Yeah.."

The last time she visited my place was when it was that moot before WW2 ended.

_"Birdie!"_

_I looked up from paperwork, to see one of my enemies climbing in from my window. Not that I regarded her as such, only my boss. Prussia would never hurt me. She hadn't in the 100 years I'd known her. But that day, her expression actually had a hint of fear in it. "Bonjour-"_

_Prussia shoved a small box in my hand. "So you'll take care of him, won't you? For the awesome me?"_

_I opened it, and saw a small yellow bird sleeping within. I gave the albino a questioning look. "Of course, but why?"_

_"Birdie, you should always trust your gut." That was the only explanation she gave me before climbing back out of the window._

She asked me to keep him safe in her own words. The Prussian knew Ivan wouldn't let the little bird live at his house. Even though she didn't know she'd be going there.

But now...

Gilbert roamed inside, until she came to the kitchen. Kuwahaki was raiding the refrigerator, but I made sure to leave it mostly empty while I was gone. What's important is that on his head was the small yellow chick she entrusted me with.

Prussia wasn't far behind me. Her red eyes sparkled happily, and she held out her arms when she saw it. "GILIBIRD! YOUR AWESOME MASTER HAS RETURNED!"

Gilibird's beady eyes blinked in disbelief for a few moments. He imagined her more than a few times while he was here. He shot up, spinning around Prussia happily until he landed on her shoulder. He nuzzled closely to her cheek.

The Prussian was showing a rare sign of weakness for her little bird, cooing kind German words to him softly as she flushed from happiness. She smiled broadly at me. "Canada, it was awesome of you to keep him this long! Uh.." She blushed harder. "Thanks.."

I patted her back. "No problem, eh.."

I may as well give her a day to reconnect before I put her into my own special brand of therapy..

* * *

**Short chapter is short, but meaningful chapter was the one before this. **  
**Actually, all the chapters mean something. :3**

**Anyway, I should warn you of slower updates, since I've started rping as Prussia on FB, and it's getting that time of the year when homework is thick and report cards come in.. let's just say you'll know what my grades were if I go on a hiatus like this one. :D**

**Also, I've been depressed lately. And today, British person called me an ignorent American.. lemme tell you, it didn't help ; 3;**

**If you enjoyed it, review. If you didn't review. If you have something you want me to touch on (ideawise?) review. If you wanna make me feel so happy I update within the next week review.  
**

**Stay awesome!  
**

**( = _=)/**

**-too emo for a proper emocon-  
**


	29. Canadian Therapy part 2

**LE GASP~**

**Two updates in the same week?**

**No, that wasn't a herd of pigs taking off in flight outside of your window, THIS IS THE REAL LIFE.**  
**(Bohemian Rhapsody, ftw~)**

**Important Note: I wonder if my readers read my FF at full screen. I hate that. I write and read my FF at about less-then-half to one-third screen. It makes a/my story awesomer! ^^  
Have I said that before? -thinks- Meh~ = 3=  
**

**Please enjoy the suckishness that is my story, knowing it doesn't belong to me.**

* * *

Canada's diary of the Prussia's progress:

_Prussia often writes in diaries like this, so I've decided I'll make one for her progress.  
It's in French, so America can't read it in case he sneaks into my house again.._

_In the first months, Prussia slept in my room with me because of her reoccurring nightmares.  
Nothing happened, she just wanted company.  
I tried everything to get them to go away, hypnotism, locking her in a room alone, a few I don't wish to write as well.  
The cure seemed to lie in playing Chopin and other classical music, loudly, to a point is sounded angry.  
It might not have been a good sign that she was smirking while she slept._

_The next months after that, I tried to get her used to Russia's nation name, and then Ivan. She would start shivering for Russia, and cry for Ivan. I eventually had to threaten her with canned vegetables instead of my cooking every time she would show the name effected her. It worked; she could stand his name in small doses. I managed to make her better by the fact he wasn't around, and she could now stand it in casual conversation._

_Then I had to get her used to pictures I had of him.  
She tried burning them after the first day in the dead of night. I had to hide them under my mattress.  
This one took the longest, nearly five months.  
But she eventually got over this too, since it wasn't the living, breathing nation._

_I felt the pulse that's bound her to the earth all these years slowly weakening as time went on.  
After consulting this with her, I told her I'd try to find a loophole of some sort.  
Maybe naming a chunk of my own land after Prussia would work?..._

_And so for the months remaining, since I couldn't think of any other way to help her, I decided to let her goof off.  
I started off by re-teaching her to play hockey.  
Then we visited one of America's beaches, kicked his ass in hockey while we visited Alaska, and made fun of his healthcare._

_But as the last week I was to have her rolled around, I made a stunning revelation._

* * *

(In Gilly's pov~)

The fuck?

"I dunno what you're talkin about, Birdie.."

"Well, I just wanted to know how you felt about Russia, that's all."

"I don't feel anything for him. Now gimmie another beer." I don't like it when people touch on sensitive subjects of mine.. And I only have a few! It's not too hard!

Canada gave her one. "Want some more pancakes, too?"

I nodded excitedly. "Of course!"

(34 beers and 109 pancakes later)

I leaned on her table, giggling.

"A full stomach makes for a loose tongue, or so England once told me.."

I pointed at her. "Alice likes Francis, she's too much of a fucking pansy to admit it!"

Canada's eyes widened. "Really now, eh? Anything else?"

I tried to sit up, but I was too heavy.. "Yeah! I mean, Luddy and Feli were fucking destined for each other! They're so cute together, too.." I hiccupped. Strong beer! "But Toni and his 'Lovi' are gonna be tricky. I mean, he lays his feelings out there on the board for her, and she's all 'BABAM TOMATO BASTARD!' Y'know how unawesome that is?" I slammed my fist repeatedly on the table, emphasizing my point.

Canada frowned a little. "Well, it doesn't seem too good.."

I nodded. "Exactly!"

Canada put on a thoughtful expression. "Can you pair up anyone else?"

I tried to stare her square in the eye. "Birdie, when I'm this drunk, I can do just about anything. I'm that awesome."

Canada held my gaze. "How about... America?"

"Japan."

"Really?"

"Next question, if you please." I took a drag of beer. This was too easy..

"Denmark?"

"Norway."

"Estonia?"

"Latvia."

"Lithuania?"

"Poland. Give me something difficult, Birdie!"

"Russia?"

"Me-"

Oh shit.

I looked back at her, and she was smirking. I didn't know birdie can smirk! "You?"

I blushed, turning away.

"You think of Russia? And yet you say how much you hate him?" She put her hands together.

"No! I hate him! He's big, and mean, and scary, and stupid, and he always smells like vodka!"

"Me thinks the lady doth protest too much.." The Canadian ate a few bites of pancake as she waited for me to continue. "Is that all you have to say about him?"

I'm too drunk to care about what I say! Fuck it all! "Of course not! He's a tactical genius when provoked, he can be kind, sweet, and gentle, he loves sunflowers, loves his sisters, loves his minions.. said he loved me a few times... and.."

She wore a tiny smile. "And?"

"And this one time I was over there, he let us all play in the snow together. Just take the day off during Russian Christmas, and frolic or whatever. (Even Belarus wasn't a complete bitch that day..) Ivan acted like he had work to do, but he watched us have fun from the windows." I began to ramble, but I couldn't stop for some reason. "He can cook, if you want to believe it, but he always let Kataya do it because it reminded Ivan of the part of his childhood he loved! And-.. stop smiling like that! Unawesome, birdie!"

Mattie's tiny smile was spread into a full-on grin. "Anything else?"

I immediately hid my face in my arms so she wouldn't see me blush. "There's no way in hell.."

"Well Gil, it seems to me that he has more good points then bad points to you." She patted my head, and I looked up. "Maybe you're just making excuses for him. Then again.." She gave me a France-esc look. That one he gets when he talks about all of that romantic crap. Or Alice. "Then again, you're walls of denial have temporarily broken as you became less and less sober.. and you may have fallen head over heels for Russia a while ago.."

I slammed my hand down on the table. "I don't care! He doesn't like me, and I don't like him, so I'm going to bed!"

I stood, and tried to leave. Birdie found a way to block me. "Denial isn't just a river, you know.. want me to ask him?"

"Whatever.." Canada tried to get me to speak after that. But when I didn't utter a peep, I managed to get to the couch before passing out.

* * *

**Well, that's the new chapter. I'll try to update again this week~! ^^**

**I didn't want to write all that french out and translate it, so from now on, if something is written _like this_, it's in another language. Context clues will tell you which one, if I don't. :3  
**

**Kataya = Ukraine**

**Yeah, I just put a list of the couples in this fic~! Prussia's awesome enough to know who belongs to who. xD**

**If you're wondering how much time has passes since she's been released from Russia, you can either take a guess in a review, or I'll explain it next chapter in an authoresses note~**

** (Lovi: FUCK! Just tell them now!  
Me: -eats burger- No, I'm the writer! Another outburst, and no Spain!  
Lovi: Why would I-  
Me: OR TOMATOES.  
Lovi: -silently pouting-  
Me: :D  
Spain: -hugs all- Buenos noches~)  
**

**Am I the only one that imagines Prussia finds a small pleasure in listening to music Austria might play when he's mad? I seems doable in my headcanon. (Inner me: Che, I sleep with classical music on. So what? I've done it since I was one day old. Wanna fight about it? (/ . V.)/ )  
**

**I'll post my Prussia RP and one of my American cosplay pic or two on my profile eventually~**

**Nothin' much else to say.. Oh yeah, for pace reasons, the next chapters might be shorter then normal. I'll try to make them at least 1000 words, or somewhere close. CANDY-CORN POWER IS ALMOST AS POTENT AS JELLYBEAN POWER! xD  
**

**I love reviews, and they'll make me update faster~! (AKA: Within the next week. :D)  
I'll try to respond to them all~!**

**Crap. I rambled. Well, at least I'm not depressed anymore~! xD  
**

**Stay awesome!  
**

**(b l 7l)b**


	30. Prussia's home is where her heart is

**Chapter 30! Chapter 30! THIS IS THE LONGEST FRIGGING STORY I'VE EVER WRITTEN! I love you all! My readers, reviewers, watchers, subscribers, and all of the beautiful people who follow my story for whatever reason! **

**Also, danke to LolliDictator for being the 150th reviewer!**

**Want a story for reward? -not used to this-**

**ILU ALL~ :'D**

**Now read the suckish chapter I made for you all. I tried a new writing style, so tell me if you like it. :3  
**

* * *

Canada poked me gently to get my attention.

I looked up from the Curling match. "Nn? The awesome me is busy right now..."

The Canadian wore a serious expression, and I sighed. "It's been a year, eh."

"So?" A beer fizzed as I popped the top off, taking a swig.

Her voice was unconfident as she continued. "I told Ludwig you'd go home after a year.. But I'm not sure if I helped you, eh.."

I froze, slowly putting my beer Kumajiro's head. He walked away, but fuck it.

Bruder?

Mattie deemed me fit to return home?

I looked up at her, smiling, as I tried to hide my excitement at the prospect of getting home. Fuck yeah! "You did awesomely! I'm 100% awesome again!" I jumped over the couch, hugging my friend. "_Keine Sorge_, Birdie~"

The Canadian blushed slightly. "A-are you sure, eh? You could still.." She stopped, then sighed, knowing there was no stopping me now. "We should pack your things up.. Remember your Gilibird and suitcase-"

Turning, no longer hugging Canada, I snapped my fingers; Gilibird flew in, landing on my head. He peeped cutely. I looked up over my bangs. "Gilibird, I have a request!" I swear that little guy saluted. He's so cute~! "Go get my stuff, and put it in my travel box!" He nodded, cheeped, and flew off.

Mattie shook her head, mumbling, "Why can't Kumahiko act like that?"

"Sorry, I'm just awesome like that." I draped an arm around her shoulder, walking her to the kitchen. "I think we should celebrate with pancakes, since I'm just that awesome."

* * *

"Canada was an awesome place, don't get me wrong, but Germany is my home!" I reassured Birdie as she drove me from the airport. It was a rental car, and my head was nearly out the window as I absorbed the scenery. It was as awesome as I remembered! Birdie said I was jumping off walls all the way there.

Birdie chuckled. "You're like a little kid.."

I'm ignoring that, since I'm awesomer then any kid could be. Except when I was a kid, because I was badass in the order of Saint Maria. Teutonic knights fucking ruled!

My eyes widened. I could sense Luddy! We must be close! His scent was relatively close to mine, composed of beer, wurst, and freshly-cut grass. (Mine was potatoes, beer, mountains, and cornflowers. At least, that's what bruder told me..)

I practically jumped out of the car when we stopped in front of my house. Rushing to the front door, I knocked loudly.

No answer.

Again, this time with Birdie next to me.

No answer.

I lifted my foot to kick the door down, but Birdie held me back. "He may just be out, eh.. or in his backyard.."

I poked Gilibird, who was on my head. That little sucker was still cute! "Gilibird, look for mein bruder!" He flew up and around until he was out of sight. I tapped my foot impatiently. "Comon Luddy.. not awesome at all.."

"Well, I knew we should have called him, but you didn't want to, eh.." Mattie sighed.

I smirked. "Cuz I knew he'd get all hyped up, and I wouldn't be able to see him! I might as well be here~"

Gilibird flew over the house, landing in my outstretched hand, but kept flapping his adorable wings.

"Bruder's in the back?"

It peeped, hopping slightly.

"So Feli is here too?" I smirked as Gilibird nodded. Of course his Italian would be here, she's adorable!

I might kinda miss her pasta.. "Awesome!"

I lifted my finger up, and Gilibird hopped onto my head.

I turned to Canada, who was sighing, mumbling something about a Lassie.

What the hell is that?

I headed to the back gate. "Birdie, isn't this awesome? I'm home~!"

The Canadian was tugged along, a small smile coming across her face. "I.. should go, eh. Meet Ludwig yourself, Gil."

I frowned. It would've been awesomer with Birdie.. I waved once behind me, still heading for the gate. "Danke, Birdie.."

I'm sure she got home safe. Opening the gate slowly, so it wouldn't creak, I saw the perfectly trimmed yard. Bruder had some problems with things not being neat..

But I looked to a corner that was always mine, full of-

Cornflowers.

They were blooming beautifully, silver-green leaves and puffy blossoms standing straight. I plucked one gently as I crouched, bringing it to my nose, appreciating the familiar scent it held. The freshness seemed to wash away all of my worries.

"Who goes there?"

I turned, unaware that my awesome white and black hoodie was completely covering me before. "Oi, West! Can't even remember you're awesome schwester?" I tutted, waving the flower back and forth. "For shame, bruder."

Westen blinked, speechless.

Fuck yeah, that's the face I wanted to see! His surprised face! I stood, ruffling his hair. Why was he still so fucking adorable? "Is my awesome presence intimidating, Ludwi-?"

I stopped, because he wrapped his arms around me, hugging me tightly. He towered over me by six whole inches, yet he still felt like the small kid brother of mine from decades ago as he shook slightly, burying his face on my head. I could feel his need for comfort.. "Promise me.. _Bitte versprich mir_, Gillian, you'll never leave again. _Bitte_.. _bitte_.."

"_Nie wieder_, Ludwig..." I held my bruder, rubbing his back, waiting for him to calm down.

He.. missed me that much?

Damn.. now I feel bad..

Well, I'm too awesome to let my bruder be sad! Fuck this, I'll stay with him a little longer than planned. Hell, I'll just move in permanently. "Don't worry, bruder, I'm still here.. I won't leave you.. I promise."

"_Danke schön_..."My German bruder relaxed on me momentarily.

At the sound of a 'Ve' coming from around the other side of the house, he straightened his composure, coughed, embarrassed, into his hand, and he tried to hide his growing blush as he separated from me. "Uh.. welcome home.." He smiled. "Feliciana, come here, please.." My bruder's tone was soft, unusual for him.

The Italian was wearing shorts and one of bruder's tee shirts as she ran around the house, holding a butterfly net. "Ludwig, Ludwig, I got one! It's-" I tucked my hands into my pockets, smirking, as her face changed. That girl...

The butterfly flew out of the net as she threw it behind her and tackled me. "Gil, Gil, Gil! Ve! I'm so happy you're home!" She started crying as she hugged me tightly, but kept speaking. "I'm sorry we didn't visit! My boss and Ludwig's boss wouldn't let us visit you! Roderick and Eliza, and Ludwig have all been very sad without you, ve!" Feli paused for a breath. "S-so please stay! Ludwig is always sad without you, and I want Ludwig and Gillian and everyone to be happy! I'll make pasta if it helps! With potatoes! And maybe wurst!"

I clamped a hand over her mouth, laughing. "Don't worry, Feli, I'm too awesome to make people sad for long!" I rubbed her head. "Plus you and Westen needed some 'alone time', didn't ya? Had fun?"

My bruder was blushing redder, and Italy smiled. "All time with Ludwig is fun! Even alone time~!" The change of subject made everything feel normal again. I was led inside, and Feliciana made a giant welcoming feast of pasta. I was home. And this time, I'm not letting ANYTHING get in the way.

Even Russia.

Even Ivan.

* * *

_**Keine Sorge- **_**Literally translated, 'no worry' but it has the same English effect as don't worry. I think. Any Germans who want to correct me, feel free to~ :3**

_**Bitte**_**- I believe it's 'Please'.**

_**Bitte versprich mir-**_**Please promise me.**

_**nie wieder- **_**never again.**

_**Danke**__**& **__**Danke schön**_** - Variations of Thank you. Danke is less formal~ -uses it alot-**

**I felt like using German. Sue me~! But from now on, assume they're speaking the language of whoever's 'house' they're in, ok? ^^**

**Cornflowers are my favorite flower! Even before I knew they were Prussian. I love them, and I really do want to grow them someday.. their annual, and they re-seed themselves. Ah.. sorry.. -nerd- :/3  
Who else thinks Luddy made it his national flower in honor of Gilly? -raises hand-  
Also, does everyone else get the 'scent' thing? It's like the smell of the land or something.. I still don't get it myself, but I have a vague idea of everyone's specific scent! Maybe? I dunno! -shakes head-**

**And now it's HISTORY TIME~! -opens dusty book-**

_**Order of Brothers of the German House Saint Mary in Jerusalem**_**. German: **_**Orden der Brüder vom Deutschen Haus St. Mariens in Jerusalem**__**, but for short, the **__**Teutonic Order**__** (Today: German Order), is a German Catholic religious order. It was formed to aid Christians on their pilgrimages to the Holy Land and to establish hospitals to care for the sick and injured. Its members have commonly been known as the **__**Teutonic Knights**__**, since they also served as a crusading military order during the Middle Ages. The membership was always small and whenever the need arose, volunteers or mercenaries augmented the military forces.**_

**Isn't history a blast? I had to put a Teutonic knight reference in, because in the latest episode (The one with China traveling the world) -prepare for geek rant- THERE WAS A SMALL PICTURE REPRESENTING THE BATTLE OF GRUNWALD. TEUTONIC PRUSSIA, LITHUNIA, AND POLAND WERE ALL THERE. It made me so happy~! -cries double rainbows- :'3**

_**The Battle of Grunwald History:  
**__**The alliance of the Kingdom of Poland and the Grand Duchy of Lithuania, led respectively by King Jogaila (Władysław Jagiełło) and Grand Duke Vytautas (Witold), decisively defeated the Teutonic Knights, led by Grand Master Ulrich von Jungingen. Most of the Teutonic Knights' leadership were killed or taken prisoner. While defeated, the Teutonic Knights withstood the siege on their fortress in Marienburg (Malbork) and suffered only minimal territorial losses at the Peace of Thorn (1411) (Toruń). Territorial disputes continued until the Peace of Melno was concluded in 1422. However, the Knights never recovered their former power and the financial burden of war reparations caused internal conflicts and an economic downturn in their lands. The battle shifted the balance of power in Eastern Europe and marked the rise of the Polish–Lithuanian union as the dominant political and military force in the region.**_

_**The battle was one of the largest battles in Medieval Europe and is regarded as the most important victory in the history of Poland and Lithuania. **__**It was surrounded by romantic legends and nationalistic propaganda, becoming a larger symbol of struggle against invaders and a source of national pride. During the 20th century, the battle was used in Nazi and Soviet propaganda campaigns. Only in recent decades have historians made progress towards a dispassionate, scholarly assessment of the battle reconciling the previous narratives, which differed widely by nation.**_

**I'm sorry, I love all of my roots, and I haven't put that much history in a while~! (-major European mutt-) I hope ya'll enjoyed that. :D**

**If anyone wishes to correct my history, want to have nerd conversations about how awesome history is, or just want to tell me what you think of my story, please review. If you need to, criticize my story! I'll only get better if I'm told of my mistakes, and I won't take offence! I love reviews, since they make me update quickly~! Sorry I rambled again, but history is love, ne?  
I also didn't have time to beta it today.. -headdesk- ..it probably sucks...  
-dances the caramelldansen-  
Stay awesome~!  
**(/ = w=)9


	31. Meddling Candians, Hockey, and Truths

**I always have to gather my courage before I release a chapter.. **

**Well.. h-here I go.. x|  
**

**-insert generic disclaimer-**

* * *

I skated swiftly on the ice, fighting Russia with all of my might. Taking an abrupt left, I hit the puck into the goal post.

"SCOOOOORE!" I pointed at Russia. "I WIN, EH!"

Russia sighed, skating over to the benches. "It seems that you do, Matvey.."

"But isn't 6-1 quite a high margin?" I skated over, sitting next to him. "Is something on your mind, Ivan?"

He smiled softly, shaking his head. "Nyet." The Russian started unlacing his skates. "You would believe how much I dislike my name when it is mispronounced, da?"

"I do." I said knowingly, following suit.

"What people do not see is that it is not said as it is spelled, I-van. But it rather is spoken EE-vahn." He shook his head again. "But Matvey, I do not see why, even after I correct someone, they use the wrong pronunciation."

I was done taking off my skates, and started putting on my converse. "Eh? Well, once people get used to something, I guess they just would rather not change.. it's easier.."

"Da. But lest they forget.. change is a part of life.." He leisurely covered his sockless feet with his Russian boots.

We sat in a comfortable silence for a bit. Then I broke it. "So... how do you feel about Gillian?"

At the very mention of her, his ears turned a bright crimson. I have to honestly say that that wasn't the reaction I was expecting.

It was better.

"I do not know what you are talking about, da?"

I poked his forehead. "Of course you do, eh? Ivan, you can't just hide your feelings! Remember last time?"

He remembered. It was that he became far too drunk over a little thing, and blew it straight out of proportion.

"Even.." He took a small breath, trying to gather his courage. "..after making her cry, after hurting her that much.. " His eyes gazed off into a far of distance. "I want to embrace her.." He pinkened. Barely. Then he met my eyes. "Is that so wrong, Matvey?"

I began laughing, and I could feel Russia give me a weird look. "Matvey? Are you all right?"

I stopped, trying to breathe. Those idiots! "Yeah, I'm fine.. but you two are really dense."

"How so?" He didn't feel insulted, he wanted to better himself...

"I mean, she likes you too, Ivan."

He froze. "I see.." The he began twiddling his fingers. "And.. this is true? No 'kidding around'?"

I nodded.

"I.. do not know what to do next..." Russia stated truthfully, trying not to jump in joy at the news. I knew there'd be celebratory vodka for him.

I smiled. "Don't worry, leave it to me."

I even almost added 'the hero'.

* * *

**Ah.. short update is short.**

**My apologies! It's been forever since I've written Canada.. Hockey!Canada nonetheless..  
And first person? It's really tough to get back into that.. **

**And I still haven't figured out just HOW many years have passed since the soviets fell, but.. I'd say it's at least 1999.. so from the last update, with Prussia returning home to Gerany..  
**

**I have to get back into the groove of multi-fics~!  
All these one-shots are makin' me loose my zest~! xD**

**I'll try, from now on, to update at least ONCE a week, if not more..**

**I hope you all stay awesome! **

**(~ = 3=)~  
**


	32. The beginning of Prussian peacemaking

**Sorry for not updating! But now that EOLS is done, rping is the only thing keeping me from this story! **

**I spent all day typing it, and then it was deleted.. and so now the re-typed version is here!**

**Warning, this may confuse you. Mostly because Prussia is confused, and it's from her pov.**

* * *

Today, I got to go to a world meting. Normally, I'd be elated as fuck, even more since it was in Canada, but.. this one felt off.

Canada was where the next meeting was held. They went through the regular parts of a meeting, politics, economy, and then a face-off between America and England. They decided to call the break early, and some nations asked Canada for directions. She was happy to help, when people remembered who she was.

Apparently, Canada pointed Russia and me to the break room, but not the one everyone else was going to. We still didn't know the building I guess, so I blindly believed her.

I walked in, hoping for fresh coffee. That stuff tasted like crap, most of the time, but it was good at keeping me awake. Beer is still way better then these crappy American drinks! When I got there, I saw Russia sitting by himself at a table, reading. I didn't want to be rude.. I did like the fucker.. "Hi..." Still do.

He turned, smiling creepily. "Why, hello Prussia. How are we today?"

I made a cup of coffee for both of us. No particular reason, but cabbage-breath would definitely rather have my awesome brew! That.. and he just seemed kinda.. different today.

... sad, maybe?

"I'm fine. Are you okay?" I gave him a worried look.

I don't know about this...

The prey is me wants me to leave. _NOW_.

The predator in me wants me to tease him, or hurt him while he's vulnerable!

The awesome in me wants to be around him.. I don't know why, but it's also worried about him..

...

WHAT AM I? SOME DAMN LOVESTRUCK SCHOOLGIRL?

He nodded, "I am fine, Prussia. But.. " Russia paused, shaking his head. "It is nothing. This drink tastes odd.." He began digging around in his pocket.

I smirked, sipping out of my cup. "Don't worry, I didn't poison it."

"I know you did not." He made a creepier smile. "I was watching you."

Wait, that's creepy! I thought he was reading!

BLEGH.

I was wrong as hell, he isn't cute!

"Whatever you say.." I mumbled, face heating up.

"I have found it!" Russia said, happily pulling a bottle of vodka out of his coat. He screwed the lid open, taking a swig. "Ah.. what is that look for?"

I didn't notice I was staring at him. No, someone with my awesome level is not afraid of some gross vodka! "Nothing."

He poured a little into his coffee, sipping happily. "Would you like some, da?" The Russian held out the bottle, and I snatched it from his hands.

"Hell yeah! A little booze won't get to the awesome me!" I said, pouring the clearish alcohol into my own cup.

Neither of us got drunk- our tolerance levels were too damn high- and we actually started up a pretty good conversation. But then.. I really tasted the vodka in the coffee. And it reminded me of.. of unawesome things.. of ..

"Prussia?" I looked up. Worried violet orbs bored into me.

A flash came across my vision; **his** eyes were flaring with anger, vengeful. I recoiled, expecting to be hit. "D-don't touch me!"

He actually listened, keeping a small distance between us. "Are you alright, da? Is something wrong, Gillian?"

The predator in me went crazy. I actually growled, tackling him to the ground and out of his chair. I mildly wondered why the hell I always did that as he lay flat on the ground under me. The Russian was wearing some stupid surprised expression, his white scarf trailing behind him. "You little asshole! Ingrate!" I snarled, my hands around his neck.

Russia almost looked angry, but then it melted into hurt. "Gillian, wh-"

"Don't you ever **dare **call me Gillian unless I say so, got it?" He didn't answer. I squeezed, and he winced. "GOT IT? _I'll fucking kill you_.."

Russia paused, letting a thoughtful look pass on his face. "You will ultimately be unable to do this, da?" He put his hand gently on my arm, not even trying to get me off.

I froze. Then I raised my eyebrow to say, 'What the fuck are you talking about?'

"If you had the chance.. when you had the chance, you should have killed me. It would make life better for everyone." Russia said this with no emotion, as though reciting the weather.

My grip loosened a little.

"A kinder nation may have been born, untainted. It would have been worthy of life. But I.. " His arm fell. "I have no true purpose.. no one to live for.. while other nations do, da? And I feel lonely.. the loneliness eats at me until I.." He didn't finish.

He didn't have to.

I knew what he was going to say.

The loneliness.. it eats at him until he just wants to.. not continue living any more.

I let go of him completely. Gott, what was I doing? He's not some demon, or anything like that.. my awesome subconscious had been trying to tell me that all along! He's..

..he's just like me.

He's lonely.

Maybe that information was a burden, I dunno.. but I started crying! I put my hands up to my face so he wouldn't see me. Goddamnit! My stupid heart was beating faster, my eyes just kept leaking.. and he was just sitting there..

But slowly, he held a hand out. Maybe the asshole wanted to comfort me or something, I don't know! But then Russia's face got this defeated look, and pulled his hand away again. Like he couldn't help me or something... Not like I cared, but I wondered why..

But I'll never know, because West chose that awesome moment to come into the room.

Me crying.. yeah, I didn't do it often. Even less often then Alice, and most of that was all recent. (Except for after mutti died, and when France almost killed Luddy...)

So Germany stared blankly at the scene for a second. He was caught, I could tell. The silence meant Luddy wanted to beat the living shit out of whoever made me cry. But he was refraining from it because he knew it would cause international warfare if he did try to hurt the Russian.

His brows furrowed in anger. Looks like he didn't care.. Luddy stormed over, hoisting me over his shoulder with ease. I was a little surprised. I'm not heavy, but I'm not light either. Then again, Luddy's buff enough for Feli, so-

Wait, why am I calm about this?

He was still glaring at Russia, who crossed his fingers over his stomach, closing his eyes. Luddy carried me away, angry. I looked back at Russia, and he smiled sadly, waving from the ground.

Ludwig silently took me a little ways down the hall before I tried getting away. "Luddy, put me down!" He didn't so I tried pushing away and kicking. "OIII! West! I know you hear the awesome me!"

"Gil," He said, anger lacing his tone. "Stop acting like a child..." He stood me up. "I told you to stay away from Russia. For your own good."

I crossed my arms, turning away. "Well, isn't little Westen getting on his high horse today!"

He sighed, scratching his head. "Gillian. I'm serious. I let you come to these meetings so-"

"You let me? You keep me from coming to every other meeting, and what gives you that right?" I was shouting at him, and now he was backed up against the wall. "You aren't even concerned anymore! You just don't want to be embarrassed by m-!"

"THAT'S ENOUGH!"

I stopped. I had to obey this guy, even though he was my little bruder. It's because..

He was Germany.

He was the German nation.

And I'm...

"Gillian, please behave."

What am I?

I shook my head roughly. "Fine, 'sir'." I said sarcastically, storming into the still empty meeting room.

I had my head in my arms for the rest of the meeting, all bravado lost. Stupid Westen...

Stupid Ivan...

Stupid nowadays...

Fuck..

* * *

**I'm also kinda confused, if it helps...**

**I think I"m making Prussia ooc, so please, someone warn me if I'm getting that way! D:**

**And... reviews would make me update. No reviews, and I"ll just good off for another month. -mean- :3  
**


	33. Awesome Prussian drinking skills

**Well.. I had it written.. and someone said I should put it out there..**

**Even though this chapter sucks.. I've forgotten how to write our dearest Gilly! D:  
**

**I don't own Hetalia, ne? ^^**

* * *

My bruder tried to pull some crap to make up for his behavior, but I slammed my door in his face.

My bed was so welcoming.. I took a nap, long since immune to jet lag. Yeah, it doesn't effect someone awesome like me.

I stared at the wall, eyes watering from sheer awesomeness.. That's it..

IT'S NOT AWESOME FOR ME TO BE SO SAD!

So, I devised an awesome plan that let me hang out with my friends!

Every Friday, Toni, Frannie, and me will go to a bar! Every Saturday, Alice, Mathias, and me will go to a bar! And on Sundays...

Sundays..

I'll figure that out later.

Yeah, awesome plan!

* * *

I slammed my phone on the receiver, cursing loudly.

Except that they're all busy for the next few weeks. Dammit.

But they agreed to it in a month.. what fucking good is that now?

What the hell am I supposed to do, go drinking by myself?

...

I won't be by myself! I'll have Gilibird! I take the little guy from on top of my head and place him on the table. He blinks sleepily at me, peeping. "He's so cute~!" I mutter, poking the yellow puffball.

"Wanna go drinkin', Gilibird?" I asked him quietly. Too much of my awesome voice might make the adorable thing deaf! In response, he flew onto my head, emitting high-pitched cheeps.

I smirked. "Awesome!"

* * *

After getting dressed in tight, awesome, leather pants and a printed black skinny tee, my combat boots went over it all, and I was out the door.

My awesome feet took me to one somewhere East..

I chose a random bar out of the few I saw.

Hmm.. this stuff tastes funny..

I sat, brooding over my beer. I don't mind being alone.. yeah.. I'm too awesome to get lonely!

After I chugged a few more down, a large hand rested on my head, pushing Gilibird, who plopped onto the table.

"My, my, Gillian. This is a pleasant surprise, da?"

My eyes widened.

Him?

Here?

"Like hell it is!" I shouted as I stood, meeting his eyes. "Who the fuck do you think you are, following me?"

Russia giggled. "People are noticing, da?"

"So what?" I mumbled, taking another drag of the beer. This'll drown him out..

The Russian pushed me down by my shoulder, sitting on the chair closest to mine. "Be inconspicuous, Prussia."

The staring eyes turned away, and I sighed. "All I wanted to do was get a beer.."

"Alone?" He questioned.

My eyebrow twitched. "I'm not by myself! I have Gilibird!"

He only stared at me, anticipating something. I felt a burning sensation creep up from some deep, dark pit in my stomach. The pressure built up until I coughed loudly, chestily. My eyes watered, and I turned back to Russia. "Sorry 'bout that.."

He frowned. "Something is wrong with Gillian, da?"

Crap! If I show weakness around him, that bastard would take advantage of it!

LIE! LIE LIKE ONE OF WESTEN'S DOGS.

"I'm too awesome to have anything wrong with me! Kesesese~" I laughed, hoping to hell he wasn't being analytical today.

"Gillian... you can't lie to me.." I gulped, looking away.

Who was I kidding? That stupid Russian could read me like a book. And his fucking mind games were no joke..

"My Gillian knows better than to lie to me, da?" He laughed softly. "Come now, you are far paler then usual, to add to your different behavior.. tell me the problem.. da?"

Forget about it.. don't freak out..

I know! Beer can fix this! Beer can fix everything! I picked up my pint, taking it all in one drag. "Ah, this GERMAN beer is fucking way better than your stupid vodka."

The Russian frowned, which I ignored as I ordered another one. "Are you quite sure?"

"Hell yeah! I bet, even though I've had more of the spirits then you, that I could beat you in a drinking contest, too."

WHAT THE FUCK WAS I DOING? This is a guy who drinks Vodka twenty-four seven!

"My vodka is the best. I will not leave this challenge unanswered.." He pulled out his personal bottle. "Do you mind if I provide the substance?"

Che, my beer-drinking abilities outweigh his! I've been alive more than twice his life! MEIN GOTT, I'M A PRUSSIAN!

Like hell I'd lose!

Kesesesesese...

* * *

One hour, and several bottles of vodka later (where the fuck did he pull them out of?), we were at a tie. Both of us drank before this, but I'd say the amount of vodka we consumed each could kill a normal human. And this was Russian vodka, not the weak Polish kind*.

I almost teared up early in the contest. Vodka burns deep within your stomach, warming you unnaturally. I hadn't coughed for a while, which was an upside.

A small crowd gathered after it started, and they were all cheering for me or Ivan. It was literally the Russians against the Germans.

Ivan blinked, spilling some of the shot he had in his hand. I re-filled it, fingers steady. This bitch may have thought he had an advantage, since it's his native drink, but being with him made me used to vodka.

With.. Russia..

I cleared my head of those thoughts. Damn Ivan... he set his glass on the table, and I reflexively filled mine up. I gulped it down, swishing the vodka container. There were only a few more shots worth of the liquid left. Currently, I was one ahead.

I smirked at Ivan, leaning back in my chair. "I told you: Never challenge someone as awesome as me to a drinking fight."

He smiled groggily. "Why.. does Gillian call herself aweosme?"

I tilted my head, surprised at the question. "The fuck?"

"Every time she address' herself, she says 'the awesome me' or something to that effect, da? Tell me, is Gillian confirming this to whom you speak with, or herself?" The Russian hiccuped, covering his mouth and giggling. " 'Scuse me.."

I stared at the table. Wait, what did that mean? Was I as awesome as I claimed?

HELL YEAH.

But.. he had a point..

..fuck..

Ignore this! Just..

I stood, slamming my hands on the table. "I am awesome! AND THAT'S FINAL!" I shouted, making Russia giggle louder.

"Of course you are, Gillian."

I was about to make an awesomely snide remark when he fell face-first on the table. "Ivan..?" I poked him warily. "Are you asleep?"

I beat him?

"I'm fucking awesome! KESESESE~!" I threw my arms up, and the Germans watching did some kinda cheer, making the Russians sulk. Everyone flooded away, and I returned the glasses to the barman.

"Are you taking him?" He put the glasses under the bar. "Or should I call a cab now?"

Russia snored soundly on the table. I couldn't just leave him here...

"I got this." I assured the man, picking Ivan up.

I put one of his arms around my shoulder, his feet dragging as I took him out of the bar. He was fucking heavy, or maybe I was drunk. The streets were already dark, and what little light given didn't help worth a fuck. My vision blurred. I wobbled to the left, almost falling in a snow drift.

But I was jerked into a dark alley, and when I saw the perpetrator, It was Russia. The drunk dragged me to the end, where some fence was, and pinned me against it. His eyes were half lidded, and he wore a soft smile on his face. "Gillian.. all mine.. what a pleasant dream.."

Dream? Wait, he dreamed about me too?

THAT GROSS FUCKER.

...

No, I just didn't think 'too'.. that wouldn't be awesome..

I opened my mouth to protest, and he suctioned his face onto mine. He was drunk as hell, but as good a kisser as ever. I stayed stock-still as he kissed me, slowly at first. But as I didn't react, he tried with more passion. This pushed me against the wall, and I shivered slightly. He pulled me closer onto him by the small of my back, he was warm.

How was Ivan warm? Was it just Russia that was cold? But weren't they the same?

He stopped, pulling away to a point I could still feel his breath. I opened my eyes a crack, and saw Ivan standing before me, with one of the saddest expressions on his face. Not exactly a frown or pout, but he was whimpering. He teared up, hugging my head to his chest. "Gillian.. why won't you love me?"

I flushed red. Russia thinks he can just say whatever he wants to? He pulled me into the snow, straddling me. My back felt wet, and fear pooled in the pit of my stomach. Shit, shit, shit, shit! Fuck, this bastard wasn't going to do that HERE.

His scarf touched my face, but he brushed it away as he leaned in a second time. "Am I not good enough for you?" He breathed next to my ear. "Have I misread your feelings?" The Russian teared up. "I apologize.. I do not want to hurt you anymore, da?..."

It was heart wrenching, even for someone as awesome as me, to watch. Stupid Russian, making my heart pound this much. I turned away, not wanting to look at him. The bastard may as well get on with it..

He gripped my chin roughly, pulling my lips to his.

The predator in me wanted to escape, to fight my way out! just kick his manhood in and I'd be able to run away!

The prey in me was scared shitless, like always, and hid in a small corner of my mind.

The awesome in me was content.

So I humored him, kissing him back. He started up again with full fervor. It was sweeter this time, more fluid now, since I was cooperating. His lips were chapped, but were soft in their own way. The vodka in his system was making his scent almost overpowering.

I don't know how fucking long passed like this before we finally separated, panting. He pulled me him, as he sat cross-legged in the snow. Ivan smiled, rubbing his face against mine like some kinda giant puppy. "I feel happy, da?"

"Whatever, big guy.." I leaned on him. I was too tired for this.. "You tricked me.. not awesome."

"The ends justify the means, da?" He giggled.

My legs feel like jelly.. I can't even get away..

But.. I kinda don't want to.

"I guess.." I mumbled, eventually dozing off as I leaned on him.

Where was this warm feeling coming from in the freezing-ass cold?

* * *

I woke up in my own bed the next day. Bruder said he found me on the doorstep. I, being as awesome as I was, slept off the hangover. But the warm feeling stayed.

I felt awesomer then in a long while.

...

Damn vodka..

* * *

***No offense to Polish vodka. I've never had it, but my mom has, and she told me the differences in taste Gilly used. |3**

**I'm sorry it sucked.. oocness galore~!  
(Though if you think about it, innocently-devilish!Russia and lonely!Prussia are kinda canon..)  
**

**Anyway, I've been pushing this update off all week due to suckishness. I probably won't be able to update next week, because I have _EXAMS_. (Guess who's gonna fail AP Algebra 2~?)**

**On a brighter note, I found out how to use Shimejis!  
(RusPru. RusPru everywhere.. ='3)  
**

**( **c**= _=)/**

**Meaningful reviews would cheer me up~ :3  
**


	34. Normal Prussian Wednesdays

**So. There is most definitely a reason for my long hiatus. Ayup.**  
**School.. drama.. lack of confidence..** **(That last one, mostly.. crap writing is crap.. |3)**  
**And I figured. Most of this story's already written out, isn't it? I shouldn't leave you all waiting..**  
**Plus, it's a cheer-up charm for Hani. (Fusoso-frickin-soso, liebe~!)**  
**It'll be along my older style of writing, but I'll also try to edit it to my newer one. No promises. And thank you, to my lovely readers, for sticking around for so long. **  
**(ALSO I'VE FALLEN FOR TIGER AND BUNNY. EXPECT T&B FICS?)**

* * *

Bruder and his cute Italian were already awake by the time I rolled out of bed, literally; those covers were a bitch. "Guten morgen.."

"It's past noon, Gil.." Luddy sighed.

"Fine. Then guten tag." I yawned, sitting at the table. "Feli, got any food? I'm starved.."

My bruder glared at me. Apparently, I was barred against saying anything that sounded like a vague reference to my time with Russia. Touchy..

Feli ignored him, acting adorably. As always~! "I made pasta for lunch, ve! Ludwig kept cleaning up while I was making it, but I forgive him!" She pecked the German on the cheek after placing a large bowl of Gnocchi di patata slathered in pesto in front of everyone.

We ate silently.

Fuck, I hate silences..

"Feli, this stuff's awesome! It combines the awesomeness of potatoes and your pasta!"

"Uwaa! Thank you, Gil! I try!"

Another silence threatened to come up; like fuck I'd let that happen. "Anything new happening to you?"

The Italian began rambling about everything; from her nation, to her sister, to her sister telling me she said hi, to Spain, to national holidays happening soon, to pasta.

Luddy was trying not to show his displeasure, I could tell.

"Feli! The awesome me's gonna need your help after this. Think you're up for it?"

"I can help? I'll try my best, ve!" Feli started bouncing around. "What is it?"

West picked up our plates, heading for the kitchen to reunite with his true love, that frilly apron. "Don't make any more messes."

* * *

Feli sat on my back, crosslegged, eating pasta.

I was attempting my one hundred and thirty-fifth pushups. In a row.

"Dammit..."

My arms gave way, and I slumped to the ground. "Not awesome..."

"Should I move, ve? " Feli asked, tearing up. "I didn't think I was that heavy.." She got off, helping me up, and almost falling herself.

"You aren't. I've just lost my strength.." I panted, surprised at how much this had truly worn me out. "I used to be able to do a thousand pushups awesomely without breaking a major sweat, followed by running ten or twenty miles, and then I would have to find a living punching bag.." Of course, talking wouldn't help my case, but my awesome records would need to be shared.

Italy patted my head, smiling. "Don't give up! Keep practicing, and you'll be able to do anything! Right?"

Germany, who'd finished cleaning, looked in from the doorway. He was worried. I'd always been super strong; WW2, WW1, my Empire, the Teutons.. My bruder still looked concerned when he said, "Since you're both in here, I'm going to do paperwork." I could translate that: Westen didn't want me to make a mess, like fucking always.

"Bruder, com'ere."

He scratched his neck, approaching warily. "Gil, I really do have to get to work-"

I swooped the meaty man up from under his knees, carrying him bridal style. Automatically wrapping his arms around my neck, I thanked my bruder's instincts for steadying us. "Fuck.. I used to be able to carry you without any problems.." My arms trembled slightly, showing my loss of strength; had it _really_ come to this..?

"Schwester?"

I placed him down, straightening his mussed up collar. "I should start lifting weights, too! If I'm going to return to my full awesomeness, I'll do it right!"

I slapped his shoulder, hissing a laugh; Ludwig escaped for the doorway before I could do anything else to him. "Feli, help schwester as much as you can." He commended, footsteps dying away.

"Yessir!" The Italian saluted, turning to me. "Let's start off with running! I like running! Running is.." She rambled on, and I only half listened.

My throat had been itching all day; all day being pretty short so far, but whatever. But now, it was a harsh scratching, which, within seconds of my recognizing what was about to happen, I burst out into a fit of coughs. Wracking my body, this cough brought me to my knees. Unsure of how long it actually went on, I only felt myself stopping when I infused all of my awesome will into the act; that, even, taking seemingly forever.

Peering through my blurred vision, I found Italy bent at my side, borderline crying. "Gil? A..are you ok? Should I get Ludwig?"

"No.. you can't tell bruder.." I hugged her, unsure of who I was trying to comfort. (Being around the Northern Italian when she cried? It could make anyone mushy, even bruder.) "I need you to promise me that.." I sounded weak, not up to my awesome par.

"If-if you insist, ve.." She agreed, reluctant, but scared; handing me a water bottle, the brunet questioned, "But you'll be ok, right? You'll get better, right?"

I didn't meet her eyes. "Sure.."

Feli ran to the door. "Let's run, okay? I'll make a picnic for us, so you keep working out if you want!"

I agreed, trying to give her something.. anything..

* * *

**I wrote this story so long ago, there are so many unrealistic points, plot holes.. I'll try to rewrite and fill them in, but..** **:'3**  
**Reviews would be sweet~**


End file.
